A/N: Just a story a came up with while listening to Ronan Keating's "We've got tonight'.
Oh honestly, get a grip Lily Evans, a young red haired girl thought out into the dark room. For the hundredth time that night she sat up in her bed, puffed her pillow, turned over on the other side and let out a long sigh. She glanced over at the other three beds in the room. All three girls lying in them, were fast a sleep. Actually she only had to glance over at two of the beds, because the brunette in the bed next to her was snoring softly. Lily stared at the girl for a while. She had been her best friend for about – well ever since they started Hogwarts, so that was seven years now.
Lily sighed again. Finally she got up and walked over to the window. Her N.E.W.T.S were still a few months away, so she had no excuse for not being able to sleep. She didn't get it. Nothing special had happened that day. She woke up, ate breakfast, had classes, ate lunch, had classes again, done homework, ate dinner, and then did the finally homework. And nothing had happened after that. She bit her lip. Before she had gone to bed that night, she was talking to her best friend Veronica, and Mirtha and Sabine, who they shared dormitory with.
The topic hadn't been anything special, just the usual things girls like to talk about. Classes, dress robes, boys. She sighed yet again. Was that her problem? Was that why she could not sleep? She remembered when they had gotten around to talk about boys. She wasn't really sure how they got to talk about it, but she remembered her friends' words.
"You look like someone, who could use a good snog, Lily," Mirtha had said. Of course the three other girls laughed.
"Hasn't it been really long since you had a boyfriend?" Sabine asked. She though about it for a while and continued. "Have you ever been involved in a real relationship?"
Lily didn't answer. She didn't have too either, Veronica was way ahead of her. "She had one in the fourth year. What was his name again?"
"Andreas Maddock," Lily had reminded her friend.
"Right," Veronica hesitated before continuing. Lily had known why. That relationship hadn't lasted more than about two weeks. Like the great friend Veronica was, she had tried to turn the subject around. "Anyway, why do you bring this up all of a sudden, Sabine? When was the last time you had a boyfriend?"
Sabine had smiled, "As a matter of fact, I have one at the moment. He asked me a few days ago."
"WHAT?" Mirtha had laughed along with Lily and Veronica. "Who?"
Sabine laughed. "A Ravenclaw in our year. His name is Beau Walker."
"Why didn't you tell us!" The conversation stayed on that topic for a while. Mirtha was determined to get everything out of Sabine. She had succeeded on getting an answer for most of her questions. As she continued to get an answer to the last questions, Lily and Veronica had retired to the other side of the common room, where they had sat down on Lily's bed.
"You know she might be right," Veronica has said all of a sudden. Lily remembered how she stared blankly at her friend, not knowing what she was talking about. "You needing to get a boyfriend." Veronica answered the silent questions Lily had asked in her head. "You are the cutest girl at school and you know it. You could snap your fingers and any boy would be at you feet." Lily wasn't really sure how to react to this comment so she just let out a short laugh. "What's holding you back?"
"I guess the right one never came around."
"Just make sure you don't get lonely."
"Don't worry, I won't." With that last comment, Lily had closed that subject, and they had moved on to talk about something different.
It was a half moon that evening. Its perfect semi-circle reflected in the dark water of the lakes. Lily looked up at the sky. Two stars were visible, the rest were hiding behind the clouds. Those two stars, however, were shining brightly. A cold breeze danced across Lily's bare arms. It may be April, but the winds at night were still cold. She put on a pair of socks and snuck out of the door quietly, so she wouldn't wake up her friends. Why did the events of the evening hunt her so much? Was she lonely? Of course she always thought it would be nice to have someone to hold her when she felt the need to be held. Someone to play annoyingly but sweetly with her red hair. Someone she could gaze into the eyes of without feeling everybody's eyes upon her, while her cheeks started burning.
Was she wasting her time at Hogwarts? Will she look back at her seven years in this place, and feel like she should have used them on living life instead of studying. Lily shook her head. She had never had these kind of thoughts before. The comments from her friends had left a deep mark in her soul, though she knew they wished well.
Lily was so wrapped up in her own thoughts, she almost jumped when she heard someone speak in the dark common room. "Certainly a late, but nice surprise to see you here, Evans."
The person was sitting on the couch, staring into the fireplace, which was the only thing lighting up the room. The person had the back to her, but she was perfectly aware, who it was. "What are you doing up this late, Potter?"
James didn't answer for a while. "Gathering my thoughts I suppose." He spoke softly, and for the first time in a very long time, Lily got the feeling he had picked out the words carefully, as if they had to describe something special. "What about you?"
"I suppose the same thing." She turned and was about to leave the common room again. If she wasn't able to be there alone, she might as well stay in bed, and maybe even try to get some sleep.
"Why don't you," James started. He held a short break, thinking carefully about what he was about to say, "stay." He whispered the last word, but Lily heard it.
She turned around yet again. She hesitated, standing on the stairs without moving a muscle. She felt she lost control of her legs as they started walking over to the couch. She thought she wanted to turn around and walk back up to the dormitory, but clearly her legs wanted differently. She sad down on the couch next to him and, like James did, she stared into the fire. None of them said anything at the moment. They just sat there. Lily started to feel slightly uncomfortable. She never spoke to James Potter unless she really had to. That was when they had to do Head business.
"Are you tired?" James asked, breaking the silence.
Lily thought it was a rather odd question, but she gave him some credit for trying to start a conversation. "A bit, but I can't sleep."
"Hmm," James said thoughtfully. Yet another silence approached them. "It's going to be sad leaving Hogwarts," James broke the silence yet again. "In case I don't get to tell before we leave, I'm glad you were the one, who was made Head Girl." Lily turned her head away from the flames and looked into his hazel eyes. He was staring back at her. "And I'm glad I got to work with you."
Lily was not sure what to say. "I.." She hesitated then looked back into his eyes. "I'm glad to have worked with you too."
He send her small smile. Not a grin or a smirk. A smile. She couldn't help but return it. "I like talking to you, Lily." He spoke again, "It's too bad we never got to sit down and have a real talk like this. You know, something not school related."
"Like this you mean?"
"Exactly." He took a deep breath. "What are your plans for next year?"
It was obvious he was fishing for the conversation to continue, and for some strange reason, she really wanted him to. "I'm not sure really," she answered thoughtfully. "I've considered becoming a healer."
"That would suit you perfectly, Lily. Personally I'm thinking of becoming an Auror."
You jerk, you will have me worried constantly now. Wait what? Was she thinking that about James Potter? "That is a dangerous job," she said ignoring the thoughts in her head.
"So they tell me," he smiled again. Maybe the question had been a bit stupid, of course he would be aware of the fact that the job would be dangerous. "Did I ever tell you I'm sorry about being such a jerk to you in the past?"
What? This conversation was really something she had not expected. She wasn't really sure if she liked the way it was turning, but so far nothing bad had happened. Had he really just apologised. Well, not directly, but if she said the truth would he? Had he put his huge ego behind him, and finally decided to turn to the good side of normalcy? "I don't think so," she said quietly.
"Well, in that case, I'm sorry for having been such a jerk."
Okay, so he did apologise. What do you say to something like that? "Don't worry about it," she finally got some words formulated in her head. There was an awkward silence again. For the first time throughout the conversation, she was first to break it. "Why did you stop anyway?" The fighting of thoughts in her head stopped to listen to his answer. Even Lily looked a bit wide eyed. Had she just asked him that? Had she just asked James Potter that?
James didn't seem as surprised as she was, "I figured you got tired of it in the end. The constant rejection made me realise that." He looked into her green eyes. She wasn't able to tell his thoughts out of his hazel eyes. "You are the kind of girl no one can reach."
Lily bit her lip and said quietly, "yeah, you are not the first one to say that." It left her lips before she could say anymore. It was getting really annoying. It was like she wasn't able to keep something from him, even if she didn't have to tell a lie. He seemed so honest tonight, and she didn't want him to think she wasn't. But why was this anyway. She had never had a conversation like this with James ever. "I don't do it on purpose." Again the voices, in form of her thoughts, were not happy with her choice of words.
"You need to go out and have some fun. I'm sure no guy would want to break your heart, if that is what you are afraid of," James' words surprised both Lily and himself. He quickly glanced over at her, to see if she picked the words up. She had. "At least that guy would be an idiot to do that to you."
Again she bit her lip. She thought carefully about something to say, and without any complains from the voices in her head, she said, "ask me again."
"What?" he asked.
"Ask me once again like you used to do so often."
He looked confused, but suddenly realised where she was going. "Would – would you go out with me some time?"
Wow, he really had picked up on what she was fishing for. She thought about it for a while, though she really didn't have to, because by now the voices were shouting her answer in her head. She smiled nervously, "I would love too."
He smiled back. She could really get used to his smile. It added some cuteness to his already handsome face. None of them said anything for a while. She stared into his hazel eyes, and he looked back into hers. Yet another thing she could get used to. "And here I thought I had lost all hope," James suddenly said with a smile.
Yeah right a voice said in Lily's head again. He had had a funny way of showing that. Every spare moment he had been making out with some random girl in a deserted corridor, empty classroom, corner of the common room, broom closet, or - or had he really? True, he had done it before, but had he lately? Lily thought hard, but the last time she had seen him with some girl, had been before Christmas. Actually it had been more like around the beginning of the school year. Had James Potter really changed that much? Over one summer? Was that even possible?
"A Knut for you thoughts," James suddenly said breaking her thoughts. She hadn't realised she had dosed off for a while, and why? To think about James?
"Oh sorry," she said hastily, returning to reality. "I was just thinking about -" you. "Well, just about life."
He smiled again. He seemed so clam and peaceful. She had read a lot in the Prophet about this new dark lord and his followers, and yet James just sat there peacefully even after having said he considered becoming an Auror. Lily was sure she would be going out off her good skin if she was in his position. The calmness around him however, made her feel confident. Maybe even safe. For the first time in almost seven years, she was getting to see a mature and mysterious side of James Potter. She liked this side of him. Whatever he had done this summer, had definitely been good for him. "You're doing it again, Lily," he said again.
"Oh right, sorry," she said, feeling the blood rise to her cheeks, making them go as red as her hair. He laughed slightly, after probably having noticed the change of colour.
There was a silence between us again. The fire in the fireplace was slowly going out, which was something I noticed. It was getting colder in the common room. Perhaps they were in spring, but the wind at night was no where warm.
"You know, if our date is going to be anything like this, I can hardly wait," James said quietly, breaking the silence once again.
Lily stared at him. Compliments were flowing free from his mouth now. Should she feel flattered? This questions made the thoughts in her head go at war with each other again. A part of her wanted to, but the other part was afraid he was pulling a prank on her. She recognised that feeling from her past. That feeling had tumbled around with her stomach every time he had tried to ask her out. When he had done it earlier that night, she had not had that feeling. She looked into the fire again, feeling the last flames warm up her skin one last time.
'Just make sure you don't get lonely'. She remembered Veronica's words more than ever now. She looked back into James' eyes. Was he lonely too? He had not had a girlfriend for a while now, so perhaps he was. Would he give her those compliments just to win a bet he had with Sirius Black, or another one of the Marauders? She wasn't quite sure, but something in his eyes said he wasn't. Suddenly she snapped back to reality once again, and suddenly she noticed she and James had moved closer together. She could almost feel the warmth from his breath on her skin. She swallowed hard, then leaned in and brushed her lips against his. As she had expected, he was slightly taken back by this.
She pulled slowly away from his, and looked up into those beautiful hazel eyes again. Wait a minute beautiful? Yes, beautiful, Lily answered her thoughts back. James seemed slightly surprised and confused, but as she had hoped, he took the hint, and with one quick move he placed his lips on hers. This time it was move than just two lips brushing each other. James soft lips touched hers, and before she knew it his tongue was knocking silently on her bottom lip, searching a permission to enter. She let him and he started searching her mouth gently, before she let her tongue find his.
When they pulled apart again, she couldn't take her eyes off his. Maybe he couldn't either, or perhaps didn't want to, because he was staring back into hers. It was like she could look further into them this time. Deep into the hazel she found nothing but truth. The uncomfortable feeling had left her stomach, and a loving warmth filled her entire body.
She wasn't sure why, but somehow she longed to kiss those soft Potter lips again. She gave into her urges and kissed him again. He reacted immediately and kissed her passionately back. She could get used to this. Actually a small – no huge – part of her wanted these kisses to go on forever.
When they pulled apart, James put a hand around her and moved her closer to him. He hugged her sideways, taking over the job of warming her up, which the flames had stopped doing. She leaned into his chest, and behind it she could hear his heart beating steadily. She was surprised how slow it was beating, because after that last kiss, her heart was racing faster than ever, as if she was running a marathon.
She accidentally moved a hand down his stomach, which really was a surprise to her. The hour long Quidditch practices had paid off. Her stomach felt like it was about to burst, which was something she had never tried before. Could it be happiness? She thought about it for a while, and it certainly could be. She bit her lip hard not to let out the huge smile, which her stomach had gathered together.
"Well," James said after a while, "if our date is going to be anything like this, I am definitely looking forward to it."
She laughed. "I agree," she said suddenly, and the thoughts in her head, which hadn't said anything for a while, started cheering loudly. Even louder when he kissed her again. Yep, she definitely could be getting used to this. She had a feeling James could too. Everything told her this was not just a moment to get rid of the so called loneliness she was feeling, this was something, which for once felt right.
A/N: Oh wow, well I hope you liked it! Reviews are always welcome ;)