Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue.

"May the psychotic disco penguins eviscerate your spine."

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B Welcome to my first musical! Well, first musical fanfic. I've been in several stage productions.../B

"Get on with it!" Lance yelled

ignores the rockhead B As I was saying, this will be a production of one of my favorite musicals: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, as created by Andrew Lloyd Webber. So...casting. As you can tell by the title, Kurt will be our lead man. The rest of you, you'll find out as things go. /B

"Who's the director?" Tabby piped up.

"I am, yo," Todd said from a snazzy chair that had 'DIRECTOR' stenciled across the back. "And Jamie here is the assistant." Jamie waved. "Forge, got the sfx ready?"

"Everything's good to go, man!"

"Excellent, Forge." He struck a Picard-ish pose. "Hippieman, make it so!"

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"I Some folks dream of the wonders they'll do,

Before their time on this planet is through

Some just don't have anything planned

They hide their hopes and their heads in the sand

Now I don't say who is wrong, who is right

But if by chance you are here for the night

Then all I need is an hour or two

To tell the tale of a dreamer like you.../I Callisto sang.

"Hold the phone!" Jean shouted. "Why does she get to be the narrator? It's the biggest female part!"

B Because I like her. And it's to make up what I'll be doing to her in the next parody. /B

"What next parody?" Freddy asked, confused.

"Jesus Christ, Mutant Star, duh," Warren stated simply. "A Kurwanda. And joy of joys, guess who's Judas?" He rolled his eyes.

B Don't any of you people understand dramatic contrast? Quit griping and start singing/B

"IWe all dream a lot –

Some are lucky,

Some are not

But if you think it,

Want it,

Dream it,

Then it's real.

You are what you feel

But all that I say

Can be told another way

In the story of a boy whose dreams came true

And he could be you .../I"

music tempo picks up

Callisto started belting it out. "IWay way back many centuries ago,

Not long after the Bible began

Jacob lived in the land of Canaan,

A fine example of a family man /I."

shows Magneto, surrounded by Ray, Roberto, Lance, Scott, Warren, Piotr, Pietro, and Freddy

"I Jacob, Jacob and sons,

Depended on farming to earn their keep

Jacob, Jacob and sons,

Spent all of their days in the fields with sheep. /I

scene cuts to Ray riding a sheep across a field

"Woohoo!" Ray shouted.

"Get these sheep off mee!" Pietro squealed, being attacked by ewes.

"Good sheep," Freddy grinned, petting a lamb.

Callisto glared. "A-hem!"

"Sorry."

"IJacob was the founder of a whole new nation,

Thanks to the number of children he'd had

He was also known as Israel but most of the time

His sons and his wives used to call him dad./I"

scene cuts to Magneto, and the boys, along with Moira, Mystique, Irene, and Ororo

"Why am I married to this idiot?" Ororo asked.

"I Jacob, Jacob and sons, men of the soil, of the sheaf and crook

Jacob, Jacob and sons, a remarkable family in anyone's book

Reuben was the eldest of the children of Israel/I"

Remy waves

"IWith Simeon and Levi the next in line /I"

Freddy and Sam are feeding lambs

"I Napthali and Isaachar with Asher and Dan/I"

Alex and Piotr are trying to pry apart a fighting Lance and Scott

Zebulun and Gad took the total to nine

Ray and Roberto are having a staring contest

"IJacob, Jacob and sons,

Benjamin and Judah, which leaves only one

Jacob, Jacob and sons, Joseph -- Jacob's favorite son

Jacob, Jacob and sons... /I"

Pietro and Warren are about to tackle an unsuspecting Kurt

B Aaaand, cut! Forge, is the coat ready/B

"Uh...almost?"

B Five minutes, or I'll lock you in a room with Mystique and some whipped cream. /B

Mystique leers

Forge gulped. "Got it!"

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And that's all until next time! Review!