World Full of Nothing

Summary: I know he doesn't love me, but that's okay, because I don't love him either. One-shot, Max's POV

Fandom: Maximum Ride

Pairings: Max/Fang, Iggy/Nudge

Warnings: None, really

Disclaimer: The Flock belongs to James Patterson, not me. The song lyrics are from 'World Full of Nothing' by Depeche Mode

Author's Note: This may be the first in a series of songfics…if I'm bored enough

Close
Naked
Skin on skin

When you're in a situation like ours, you take comfort wherever you can find it. The knowledge that you could be dead tomorrow brings a certain clarity of thought. We don't have time for human conceits like love. Gazzy and Angel are brother and sister, and they're too young to want anything more from anyone. It's different for the rest of us though – teenage hormones, I'm afraid. As Flock leader, I can fervently say that I don't want to have to deal with three horny and frustrated teenagers. It just isn't worth it. And forget any ideas of saving yourself for marriage – how could any of us marry? We don't exist…

Tears are falling
Tears of joy
Her first boy
His first girl

I find the idea of a so-called 'normal' boyfriend frankly laughable. I could never trust a human that much, and choice is somewhat limited with our Flock. And perhaps, in any case, choice is the wrong word. You can only take so much before you need a little warmth, someone to hold you and tell you it's alright…even if you don't believe them. To forget all your troubles for ten minutes. To forget thinking for a little while and lose yourself in feeling. And it feels good. I make no apology for anything – morality means little when you're running for your life.

Makes a change
In a world full of nothing
Though it's not love
It means something

Iggy and Nudge have each other…and I have Fang. I know he doesn't love me, but that's okay, because I don't love him either. I trust him though, and under the circumstances, that's more important than love. I don't want undying love. I don't want pointless little gestures of affection. I don't want impossible dreams of a little cottage with a white picket fence and three children. I just want to know that he'll be there, that I can fall into his arms at night when it all gets to be too much. I don't care how that sounds – judge me if you feel you must. You can never understand what we've been through.

She's lonely
When he says
It's for her only
That he lusts
She doesn't trust him
Nothing is true
But he will do
In a world full of nothing
Though it's not love
It means something

It's a hard concept to put across to people who grow up with romance films and other pathetic clichés. I've seen tragedy and death more times than I can count, but I don't believe I've ever laid eyes on true love. I've lost track of how long we've drifted like this…living from day to day, never staying, never belonging. Most times I don't even know the name of the city we're staying in. We just pay for rooms in whatever shabby motel will take us, and move on the next day. I'm not afraid any more. If fate decides that it's my time to die, then who am I to argue?

It's easy to slip away
And believe it all
It's easy to slip away
And believe it all
It's easy to slip away
And believe it all
It's easy to slip away
And believe it all

I'm not the girl who foolishly sent her diary to an author three years ago. We've all been through hell since then, become that much more cynical and weary. We never found our families - the Erasers probably killed them. We've stopped trying to plan ahead. What do we really have to live for anyway? No, we just take life as it comes and expect the worst. We're a bloodstained and battered little group right now – Iggy with a broken arm; Nudge bearing a deep gash down her back; me with four broken ribs, and most impressively of all, Fang sporting a ragged, bleeding bullet-hole in his shoulder.

Though it's not love
It means something
Though it's not love
It means something
Though it's not love
It means something
Though it's not love
It means something

Strangely enough, we're happy. Aimless and in pain we may be, but at least we're still alive, warped senses of humour intact. Gazzy and Angel are bickering over which one of them is sleeping on the floor. Iggy is asleep on the couch, head pillowed in Nudge's lap. I tell Fang that if he gets any more holes in him we could use him as a sieve. He just smiles mysteriously and says "you can try". For just a moment back there, when the gunshot sounded and I heard him cry out in pain, I was terrified. I couldn't cope if he died. Life wouldn't be worth living.

Though it's not love
It means something
Though it's not love
It means something

I don't tell him any of this, though. I just wink at Nudge and drag him off in the direction of the bedroom.

Though it's not love, it means something…