HAIR!

STARRING: Jena Grey, Kitty Pryde, Kurt Wagner, Scott Summers, Rogue, Evan Daniels, Wolverine, Storm, Hank McCoy, Professor X, and the ranting narrator. (Special appearance by Yaya)

Note: I am broke so I wouldn't be able to pay the taxes or bills that owning xmen will give me!

One boring Saturday morning: Jean, Kitty, and Kurt were sitting in the kitchen eating lunch.

"Gawd, Jean I love your hair, it always looks so healthy!" Kitty said.

"Really, you think so? Well you can have it! I hate my hair! It is so annoying an long! It takes forever to wash, forever to dry, forever to straighten!"

"Yeah, I KNOW! Sometimes I just want to cut it all off. I would it's just that my facial structure can't pull it off," Kitty replied.

"Same here!" Jean said.

Meanwhile….

Scott was looking in the mirror, with nothing but a towel on; he'd just taken a shower. He turned on "Staying Alive," a begun to dance.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah staying alive, staying alive!" Scott was doing the disco.

Another meanwhile…

Rogue was putting on her makeup, "damn it! Kitty was taking so long in the god damn shower. TWO HOURS! There's no way in hell there's any hot water left in there, or in the whole entire mansion." Rogue thought.

More mean whiles…

Evan was standing in the mirror, with his shirt off, and oil all over his scrawny body. He was looking at himself in the mirror. "I'm too sexy for this house, too sexy for this house! All the girls want me, but they can't have me!" Evan started flexing.

The meanwhile after that…

Logan was shaving his face, with a knife. He just cut himself, "OW! Shit damn knife!"

"I am going to hunt one eye down after I'm done! Stealing my shaving cream!" Logan thought as his wound healed.

Meanwhile, meanwhile, meanwhile, meanwhile…

Storm was asleep, and having the sweetest dream ever.

DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY MEANWHILE? DAMN THIS STORY WILL DIE! I MEAN HERE I AM SAYING MEANWHILE WHILE THIS GOODY TOO SHOES KIDS ARE GETTING READY! I MEAN NO ONE CARES! WHAT ABOUT THE DAMN SPIDERS, I'M TELLING YOU THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! COME ON, EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS, SPIDERS ARE OUT TO CONTROL THE WORLD! CHAROLETTE'S WEB! THAT CRAZY SPIDER WAS ON THE VERGE ON CONTROLING THW WORLD I CAN SEE IT! (Yaya comes into the narrator room beats the crap out of the narrator and tells him to go on with the story.)

Hank was in the lab playing with dangerous chemicals.

WHAT! I RANT ABOUT ALL THESE MEANWHILES AND YOU ONLY PUT ONE LITTLE MEANWHILE! DAMN YOU YAYA! (Yaya shows narrator fake spider). OK, OK! I'LL SAY IT!

Meanwhile…

THERE HAPPY!

Professor was trying on wigs.

(Finally something different) Back with Jean and Kitty (and Kurt)…

The girls were still talking about hair, I mean it's only been five minutes, and we went around the whole mansion seeing what everybody else is doing, and they're still talking about hair what's with that? (Yaya slaps narrator).

"You know you guys are lucky, do you know how many bottles it takes to wash this fur?" Kurt was quiet the whole time. The girls stared at him, puzzled.

"And this fur takes forever to dry, and I go through like twenty bottles of shampoo and conditioner!" Kurt continued.

Kitty and Jean stared at Kurt questioning his sexuality, they just shrugged it off.

"you know Kitty, I wonder what color is Kurt's skin?" Jean telepathically asked Kitty.

"Blue?" Kitty answered in her head.

"Well, I guess we'll have to find out," Jean said aloud.

"Yeah, I guess we do," Kitty said.

Kurt was about to poof, but Jean caught him wit her powers.

"What are you doing!" Kurt yelled.

"You'll find out! Kitty, get the clippers!" Jean said.

"NOOOOOOO!" Kurt yelled," not my fur! Not my blue fur!"

Kitty ran upstairs.

"HELP! HELP! HELP! I'M BEING ASSULTED!" Kurt yelled.

"Relax Kurt, it'll grow back!" Jean said.

"Hey Scott!" a random voice said.

"Scott? where?" Jean lost her focus.

"Poof, Kurt poof!" the random voice who happened to be Yaya's said. (Yaya curses narrator and says Jean's an evil bitch for trying to get rid of Kurt, and Kitty is her evil minion)

Kurt poofed, Jean and Kitty followed. Kurt poofed in Scott's room, who was still doing what he was doing, no Yaya, I won't say that Scott is an uptight asshole. (Yaya slaps narrator and puts fake spider on narrator's head, and tells him that he's an uptight asshole)

"HEY! Can a guy get some privacy over here?" Scott yelled. Jean and Kitty busted in the room, with scissors, clippers, a waxing kit and a Venus razor. They bumped into Scott, forcing his towel to unravel his Teletuby underwear.

"Oh Kurt! Time to play!" Kitty and Jean said in a creepy voice.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Kurt poofed.

"Wait we won't hurt you!"

"Come back here Kurt we need to have a little talk about privacy!" Scott yelled.

Kurt landed in Rogue's room, who was still putting on her make up. No Yaya I won't say that Rogue is a mellow dramatic bitch! (Yaya slaps narrator and says that he's a mellow dramatic bitch who lies). Rogue messed up really badly on her make-up.

"AHHHH! You're worse than Kitty!" Rogue yelled.

The trio attacking Kurt busted in Rogue's room, and bumped into rogue making her mess up again.

Kurt poofed.

"Get back here!"

"Good look for you Rogue!" Scott complemented.

"Thanks"

"I was being sarcastic!"

"Kurt LET ME KICK YOUR ASS!" Rogue yelled.

"Kurt let me lecture you!"

"Kurt let us shave you!"

Kurt landed in Evan's room, landing right on him and crushing him.

"Kurt!" Evan said.

Kurt using his big ears heard the quad stomping after him, (his ears are big!), no could miss Rogue's combat boots. Kurt poofed, just second before the group came in. And because they were going so fast, they tripped right on top of Evan, breaking his nose.

"Kurt! LET ME BREAK YOU NOSE!" Evan yelled.

"Kurt! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Kurt I'm going to lecture you ass!"

"Kurt let us shave you ass!" (Eww!)

Kurt landed in Logan's Bath room, causing Logan to cut himself, No Yaya, I'm not going to say that Logan is a cutter! (Yaya slaps narrator and says he's a cutter).

"GRRRR!" Logan growled.

"Sorry!" Kurt said.

"Kurt!" the quintet yelled. Kurt poofed. The group ran after.

"Kurt! Let me break your nose!"

"Kurt! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Kurt I'm going to lecture your ass!"

"Kurt let us shave your ass! (Are they horny? Eww gross)

The group ran.

"Scott! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE BOY!"

Kurt Landed in Storm's room, waking her up. But she didn't care, she just went back to sleep.

"Kurt! Let me break your nose!"

"Kurt! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Kurt I'm going to lecture your ass!"

"Kurt let us shave your ass!" (Still gross)

"Scott get your ass over here boy!"

Kurt poofed.

"Kurt! Let me break your nose!"

"Kurt! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Kurt I'm going to lecture your ass!"

"Kurt let us shave your ass!" (Grosser)

"Scott get your ass over here boy!"

"Children, Quiet down!" Storm yelled.

Kurt landed in Hank's Lab, causing him to spill chemicals all over him. Kurt being smart, poofed himself outside.

The group busted into Hank's lab, causing his to spill more chemicals.

"Kurt! Let me break your nose!"

"Kurt! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Kurt I'm going to lecture your ass!"

"Kurt let us shave your ass!" (Grossest)

"Scott get your ass over here boy!"

"Children, Quiet down!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" Hank yelled.

Logan finally grabbed Scott, and made him do a few danger room sessions. "Don't you ever, ever, ever, ever steal my shit you hear? Get your own shit! We're not girls!" Logan continued to lecture. "Why the hell are you in your underwear? Shut up I don't want to know!"

The rest of the group went over to Professor's office.

"Kurt! Let me break your nose!"

"Kurt! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Kurt let us shave your ass!" (Eww grossererest!)

"Children, Quiet down!"

"What the hell is going on!"

"WHERE'S KURT!" The group yelled.

"Kurt isn't here; do you all like my hair piece?" Professor obliviously asked.

The group commended Professor's new hair. Then Hank sneezed, and the chemicals that were spilled on him, mixed with the germs and turned Professor's hair into a humongous spider.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the group yelled.

"What?" Professor asked," I thought you guys liked it."

THE END!

No, none of your questions about this dumb story will be answered, cause Yaya is a bitch! (Hell yeah I am! Gags narrator and stuffs him into a broom closet)

A/N: well that was the most stupid story I ever created in my crazy hyper mind! I hope you have a smile on your face now! And OH YEAH! That narrator was totally a bastard! I never did any of those things! Ok so I stuffed him in the closet, but yeah! He's a liar! Don't believe his lies! LOL!