Hi. Yeah I just bought advent children right and it was AWSOME! I mean completely! I love it! Oh well anyway I've been reading a lot of the stories and while I was listening to that song called "where'd you go?" by fort minor, and that other song called "stupid" by Sarah Mclachlan, and the song "broken" by seether, and a few other songs so yeah, as you noticed I like to listen to my ipod when I write, gets me in the zone, Anyway they really go with this so I'd thought id take a whack at it k tell me what you think, its basically a one shot but if you guys like it I'll develop a story, I really hope you guys like it because I would love to write this story. its my first POV story so be gentle.
Disclaimer: I don't own it, so don't sue me…I would like to live there though… rated T just to be safe.
"some daysI feel like Sh-t, some daysI wanna quit and just be normal for a bit" - Fort minor "where'd you go?"
It's quiet here, alone in the bar, again. It's about 5:37 pm and it's completely empty, People haven't been coming in for a while, which isn't really a problem to me actually. I've been alone a lot lately, so I guess I'm used to it, at least that's what I've been telling myself. Denzel and Marlene had grown very close and I hated to see them part so I had sent him live with barret so he could go to school with her, they'll come back in the summer I have begun to miss them though … 'There not the only ones I miss.' The voice in my head says but I instantly ignore it pushing that thought to the farthest depths of my mind.
My sigh practically echoes through theempty room as I wipe down the counter. I vacantly watch my hand as it moves in a circular motion and slowly my mind begins to wonder, back to cloud, and to that day when cloud fought with kadaj, sephiroth's avatar. It's been two months today since that day, the city is slowly but surely recovering, re building and repairing the broken, it's been mostly one of everyone's main priorities.
I start thinking about how cloud looked, he actually smiled, well kind of, but it was still nice I hadn't seen him smile for so long; I guess he even embarrassed himself a little, as if having cheering children surrounding him wasn't weird enough for him I guess. I could see myself in the counter weakly smiling absently down at my hand. The ringing phone echoing from the hall pushed me out of my head. Reflexively I looked up but didn't move from where I was standing After two rings I debated wether I should answer the damn thing or just leave it for the machine, but in the end I dropped what I was doing and headed for the phone, it's not like I was busy anyway.
I walked fairly slow, hoping that when I got to my destination that whoever was calling would just get the hint and give up, but as I neared the desk it just kept ringing. I took a deep breath, inhaling the false hope hovering in the air and put on my normal 'happy' tone "hello..." and before I could go on with our 'oh so famous' tagline a cheery voice squealed into my ear.
"Tifa!" it was Marlene, not him, but I was still glad to hear this voice.
"Hey Marlene" artfully carefully covering up the sound of my heart sinking, figuratively speaking of course. "How's school?" as her sweet little voice chirped into the phone, I found my self spacing out again, I've been doing that a lot lately, staring at the picture of me, cloud, Denzel and Marlene. Me and the kids enjoying the picture smiling, and cloud off brooding to the side, almost attempting to belong in the little family on his side.
Suddenly Marlene's tiny voice was replaced bya deep "Hey, heyyyyy" that got my attention, and snapped me out of my reverie. "Hey are you still there?"
"Huh?" I blinked i realized it was barret"oh yeah I am" I cleared my throat "I'm still here"
"Oh well, alright, uh...whatcha been up to, you doin alright?"
"Oh same old same old" I said try my hardest not to get into specifics.
"He's…." I thought for a second "he's been busy, ya know with the delivery business and all" I said calmly artfully masking the choking feeling in my throat. I walked past Marlene and Denzel's room, slowly backed up and entered it. There was an odd pause; I picked up one of Marlene's teddy bears.
"You're sure your ok?"
'Peachey' "Uh huh fine why?" 'Liar' the voice chimes in again; I silently curse it as I walk into my room, still holding the stuffed bear.
"Well it's just you sound kinda…" he stopped "forget it" I knew what he was going to say, that I sounded tired, lonely sad, all of the above. I set the bear down on my bed.
"Really were all right" trying my hardest to convince him we were fine, because we were really…weren't we?
"Well, ok just callin to see if you guys are alright, take care of yourselves" he said almost paternally.
"You got it" I said quickly "bye" I pressed the off button and tossed the phone onto the bed, I closed my eyes, stood for a few seconds then plopped face down onto my and sighed heavily into my pillow. Half of me wanted to scream into my pillow, like I used to when I was younger, the other half just felt like cry until I fell asleep. I could feel my eyes burning But I didn't either I just laid there faced down breathing into my cotton pillow. I turned on my side and stared at the bear at my side, after a few seconds I took it in my arms and held it as tight as I could.
"It was supposed to be different," I said to my self out loud "everything was supposed to change…."
Nothing's really changed much, even though we thought it would, once all this was over. The initial novelty eventually wears off after a while I guess. Not that I'm calling our victory a novelty, but I expected a difference…actually I'm not really sure what I expected. Things certainly are different; there isn't a threat to the planet anymore, the kids are safe and the stigma's gone. Then why do I feel like I should be doing something?
That's why I come here, to think, not to hide, if that's what you're thinking. I know I said I wasn't alone and that I would come back, 'then why did I come here?'
I stare straight into the little pond that had formed where the garden of flowers had been, sun light reflecting off the small waved forming from the breeze. I start thinking about when I was standing in there with several kids surrounding me. I was genuinely happy for once and I have to admit it was a little weird having so many people catch me in the act of what small attempt of a smile I gave at that moment. Then I remember seeing Aerith, seeing her slowly walk out the door, and then I saw tifa.
Tifa, with that smile of hers. The way she looked at me that day, I'd hate to admit it but I think is what shook me the most that day. Tifa has always been there, I've promised her so much and I've done what? 'Push her away?' "No" I whisper to myself 'run away from her?' the voice in my head pushes, I try to ignore it but I'm scared of what its say could be the truth, 'hide from her?' "I'm not hiding!" I yell at myself out loud. I look around; to see if anyone had heard my out burst. "I'm not hiding" I say to myself again, almost like I'm trying to convince myself of what I'm telling myself is true. But I'm not hiding, I'm not….am I?
Ok there it is my first chapter. This was just an idea that formed while watching advent children and listening to my ipod, so please please please tell me what you think, if I need to fix any characters of if I did alright for my first FF fic. I would really love to get this story off the pitch board if you know what I'm saying. So please tell me come on! Read and review.