I don't own Firefly/Serenity.

A/N: Am I the only one who thinks Zoë wouldn't be happy if she were pregnant after Wash's death?

Dirt Kissing

We don't kiss the dirt. We do not bow down or show weakness. We don't show them how much we hurt. We fought all of our lives not to be controlled, and we ain't gonna stop now.

That was what she believed in, her and the captain, and most everyone else on the ship, leastways if they wanted to stay on. But that was back when things were simpler, before she dusted off unused dinosaurs and patched up giant holes in chairs.

I wouldn't stand for it, Captain, jealous man like me…Well, he don't have cause to worry, because although she's started kissing dirt, there ain't none she kisses 'cept the dirt on his grave.

Back when he wasn't lying under soil, she had wished he would shut up once and a while.

Once in flight school I was laconic.

Now all she wants to hear is the sound of his voice.

In the days she eats, and occasionally she'll shoot a gun or crack a smile. It's only because she has the freedom to pretend that as she lies in her bed, he's just upstairs, keeping them on course. She pretends a lot these days.

Baby, she thinks she hears his voice in her head. Baby, I'm so sorry. I love you so much… I hate seeing you like this…but I left you a present.

She knows.

Sir, she says carefully, I'm pregnant. Doc ran tests and everything. It's completely positive.

He stares at her, his signature, blank 'Huh?' Then he seems to recover.

You best be takin' it easy, then. He says. He flees when he sees the shine of her eyes.

She blinks once, and the tears start to fall.

Later she asks if maybe, maybe they have time to stop between jobs, and is met with a unanimous, sympathetic of course.

Hey baby, She says as she kneels in front of the grave. Missed you. I got your present.

Her lips touch the dirt, and she does some pretending.

Wasn't planning on the dirt kissing, sir.

No, she doesn't figure she was planning on it.