Once upon a time there was a boy named Sasuke. Sasuke was not a happy boy. You see, Sasuke was a virgin. A sixteen year old virgin. And I mean come on! Who's a virgin at sixteen anymore.

But mainly, his problem circled mainly around one Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto was a slut, and had slept with nearly every guy know to the Naruto series. Except Sasuke.

"Oh Gaara please fuck me harder!"

"Shikamaru ah AH don't stop oooH!"

"Shino oooh fuck me fast and hard baby yeah!"

"Kankuro ah I'm AH!"

"MMmmm Iruka-sensei, don't I look so fuckable?"

"Kakashi-sensei! Hit there again! OOoooh!"

"Neji I know your looking at my dick with your Byakugan, so come get some!"

"Orochi-kun I want to contain your cock in my tight little ass!"

"Itachi! Please rescue me from the big bad Kisame! He's fucking my poor little brains out!"

"NNnnn Ero-sennin! I AH don't think, you know by the way your currently screwing me now, that you oOH Ahh straight anymore!"

And it went on and on. Naruto had slept with many of the Jounin teachers, including Kakashi and Asuma. With many boys younger than him, including Konohamaru and Inari. With many well over fifty guys, including Jiraiya and the 3rd Hokage, Sarutobi. With many Chuunins, including Shikamaru and Iruka. And many villans, including Orochimaru, Kabuto, Kisame and many many many more.

BUT NOT SASUKE!

And Sasuke, very pissed off at this, had decided if Naruto was not going to sleep with him like all the other men in the world. He would have to take matters into his own hands. So one day, while Naruto was being fucked by Gaara and Kankuro at the same time, he decided he would kill Naruto.

Meanwhile, Naruto had two huge dicks shoved up his ass, he was in a state of bliss at this. If there was one thing Naruto loved more than sex with a man, it was sex with two men at once! He felt if he were to die right now he would die a very happy man. And in all ironicness, Sasuke pops out of no where and slits his throught!

Leaving Gaara and Kankuro to finish off this little session themselves. So Naruto died and went to hell for all his no good slutty deeds. Where he glady fucked with a whole bunch a dead people. Like Hizashi, Neji's awsome dad. Haku and Zabuza, Sakon and Ukon, the cocky-twins, he so adorabley liked to call them, and Sasori, Deidara's old fucky buddy. Who lies dead in hell for a reason I can't remember.

And Sasuke lived a happy happy life, and died at the peacful old age of twenty-three. He died of self rape. AKA too much masturbation. Seeing as he had killed the only thing that he could have ever fucked, he settled for the next best thing.

His right hand.

THE END

AN: Yes Naru-chan is such a slut isnt he? Let's just pretend we live in a world where Sarutobi and Chuunin Shikamaru can exsist...

WANTED: BETA READER! WILL GIVE CYBER COOKIES TO ANYONE WHO VOLUNTEERS!