Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: There's still a plot actually. Read carefully. Hunter, I have an explanation for the time thing, so message me to hear it!
Harry stomped into the restricted section, and without looking, grabbed a random book out of the shelf labelled '101 easy reference books for an aspiring Dark Lord'. He flipped, and instantly the book screamed something that sounded suspiciously like a dark curse, which Harry barely avoided by throwing the book to the ground, throwing off its aim. The curse whacked a shelf behind him and instantly, another book fired off a curse, which in turn set off another, and another, until soon the entire walkway was filled with curses.
For a moment, the three letters, LSK, flashed in his mind, as he threw himself to the ground and tried to seem as insignificant as possible. He wondered what that meant, but decided to save his own ass first.
Unfortunately for him, one of the evil books soon noticed him, and the curse it fired at Harry was plenty dark. Harry didn't see it coming, as he was face down on the floor.
Suddenly, his butt burned.
He rolled over. Only to catch another, this time in a rather sensitive area that I, as a male, would rather not mention. This time, instead of a fire, the spell simulated a pissed off woman the size of aunt Marge wearing combat boots kicking out.
Oddly, just a moment before something exploded below Harry saw EXACTLY that.
Anyway, as Harry had his stupid power, he couldn't faint dead away. Instead, he was stuck in menu mode, all the while the pain below steadily got worse and worse. For the first time in a long while, Harry cursed his power. He tried to load a save, but it didn't work, because he couldn't concentrate long enough to get through the pain to select a save.
Let us see an example of his thought processes.
For a while, Harry just lay there screaming, and even though the whole library could hear him no one bothered coming to his aid as he had knocked out Madam Pince and none of the students had the balls to enter the restricted section without clearance. Imagine, they let a first year kid wallow in his misery after being kicked down under! What nasty people!
After a while, one of the books ran out of energy and fell silent. This started off another chain reaction, this time going in the favour of Harry, in which all of the books began to quieten down.
Harry rolled around for a while, but before long he had recovered and banished away the menu, and picked up the book he had thrown onto the floor earlier.
'Dark curses for torturing your favourite potions professors!'
Harry was weird out by the title. "Freaky, how did this stupid book know I was here to get spells for Snape and Malfoy?" Just then, a voice rang through his head. "
Oh, I just knew what you needed, so I took the initiative to manipulate this timeline for you.
"Wait… you're the stupid book that cursed me! Die!"
… Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that.
"Why don't you just go die? Release me from this immediately! I want an existence that's not a for naught!"
… Out of all the victims, I just had to choose the philosophical one.
"What do you mean by that! Any person in my place would also reject this… this power!"
… Just what the hell is wrong with you?
"NOTHING! RELEASE ME!"
Look, now you're practically a god. Make do it with what you will.
And with that, the presence within Harry's mind vanished.
"Shit, what the hell am I going to do now? … Well I guess I could do what I set out here to do for…"
With that, Harry plopped down on the floor, (But jumped up screaming when his butt started burning.) flipped open the book and began to read.
Elsewhere, the mysterious voice was conversing with other mysterious voices.
Harry was hard at work learning the cruciatus curse, which was unfortunately, the only curse written the book. However, the book did have 101 ways to make use of the curse in different… circumstances.
Harry didn't have that much tact however, he wanted to simply storm into the room and make Snape scream.
"Remember, to really make your professor scream, you'll need to add in the words, ' UNLIMITED POWER!' at the end to make the curse amplify its own power. If you use the spell by itself, it'll only throw the loser back a little and give him a sting equivalent to that of an ant bite, unless you really have a butt lot of hatred. (Of course, Harry did have that.) A lot of people forget this step, unfortunately, so this curse has become rather dark from the stigma of such hatred in recent times."
Harry snapped the book open and threw it behind him. Unfortunately, this set off another trigger within the book, which caused it to fire off a dark curse. As you can probably expect already, the spell hit another of the dark books and promptly set off another chain reaction that caused the walkway to become full of flashy lights again.
This time, instead of throwing himself to the floor and becoming a sitting duck, Harry high tailed it out of the section and out the door in double quick time.
Meanwhile, Dumbledore was sensing an enormous disturbance within the restricted section.
"Hmm, I don't suppose that a student is trying to become a dark lord…?"
Dumbledore rose from his thro… chair and made his way to the restricted section, but he paused as he came into the library as he saw two unknown boys lying on the floor.
"OH NO, they must be infiltrators. Good thing I caught them having a nap. Castle, eat the up!"
A huge gaping maw opened up under the boys, revealing rows of sharp teeth, and the two boys fell in, never to be seen again.
Dumbledore continued on his way, until he caught sight of Madam Pince lying on the floor. "Oh dear me, I wonder what could have cause this? She must have drunk too much at last night's party."
Dumbledore gingerly stepped over her and into a familiar walkway that was full of flashing lights. "Oh, how delightful! Some student must have practiced making a light show here!"
Dumbledore walked in, expecting disco music to erupt, but he was hit by one of the spells and turned into a duck. He became, literally, a sitting duck.