By Ichigo 2491
Ok here it is… my first fic for my fave couple… Sesshomaru and Rin! This is another one that I wrote on the same day as The End of You, but it's a bit less depressing. And I don't own Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, Rin, blah blah blah. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Enjoy the story!
I am sitting in my chamber, the one I have shared with you since the day I became your wife. Running the comb through my long black hair, I stare at my reflection in the mirror as the sky outside darkens. You left at daybreak, policing your lands as is customary. I was left behind, as I always am. I do not resent you for leaving me; I know that it is for my own safety. I am a child no longer. Where the girl would have protested, begging and pleading to go with you, the woman sees you off each morning, cares for your children all day, and is waiting to please you when you return.
But she lives in fear.
I have seen you battle; have beheld the way your eyes fire red as your demonic nature emerges. I have known your fury; have felt it, but never the full extent. I know, however, that you would never dream of harming me, not because of any words you have said, because words are simply not necessary to describe your feelings. One look into your eyes, and I know how much you love me.
The fear I feel is not for those who incur your rage, and it is not for me. It is for you, yourself, the almighty Sesshomaru. You say you feel no pain, but I've seen it in your golden eyes. I've seen you looking at me when you didn't expect me to look up, have noted the expression of deep concentration. When you look at me, when you hold me, it's as though you are trying to memorize me, and I know that I am your weakness… your greatest weakness… and one of your many foes could exploit that weakness if either of us lets down our guard.
I cannot speak to you of my worry, I never have. I wish that I could, but I do not feel that I can voice my fears aloud when I am aware that you already share them. That would make them all too real. So all I can do is wait and pray that you will return to me safely at the end of the day. I have had frights, many of them. Premonitions, but none of them were ever fulfilled. Not yet.
The children have been in bed long since, complaining that you were not here to bid them goodnight. I frown out the window. It is dark, so dark already. You left at dawn. My head begins to ache with worry. You are usually back by now. What could have delayed you? It cannot be that the worst has happened. I would know if you were dead, would feel it… and I feel only an empty, waiting fear.
I stare out across the grounds, all but biting my fingernails now. I would be, had you not made the remark that fingernail biting is a filthy human habit. My waiting eyes scan the horizon like a hawk's, and suddenly I see a dim shape, and I know that it is yours. Even in the darkness I know something is wrong. You are not walking upright as you usually do, but trudging and slouching in a manner that can mean only one thing… serious injury.
I run, allowing my door to slam behind me. My heart is in my throat as I rush to meet you at the gates. You fill the doorway, your eyes downcast, refusing to meet mine, your clothes torn and stained with blood. The crimson liquid pools on the floor as you step inside. "Sesshomaru!" I cry, and rush to you, stopping myself just before I crash into you. You are slumped over so low that I can press my forehead to yours, and stare into your deadened, haunted eyes.
You close your eyes, cutting me off from my frightened scrutiny of your expression. I catch sight of the watchmen behind you, hovering in case you fall, but unwilling to aid you openly, for they know you would kill yourself rather than accept their help. But you need help, need it desperately, as I can see all too clearly. "Anata," I say, tears in my eyes, "what happened?"
You stumble, and I catch you on your way down. I can barely hold you up, your large frame far too much a burden for my weak human strength. The guards rush forward to help. I have you carried to our chamber, but at the door you regain some of your consciousness and growl, your eyes fiery, refusing to be carried any farther. You barely have the strength to stumble towards the bed, and I run to assist you, bidding the worried sentries to leave and thanking them briefly for their trouble. I ask them to keep Jaken out.
You never look this helpless. It terrifies me. Unsure if you will let me help you, I approach with caution. But you do not growl or glare or tell me to leave. You turn your face away from mine, and I sense that you are ashamed to be seen this way. I strip the ruined shirt away from your savaged skin, and you wince as my salty tears fall into the gruesome gash on your side. I resolutely brush them away, trying to hold in my fear. I take bandages and balm from my supply.
"You needn't go to this trouble," you tell me softly as my fluttering anxious fingers descend on your body and begin to treat your wounds. "I don't need it."
"But I need to do it," I whisper. "Seeing you like this… it frightens me. You look as though you might… die."
"I am not human," you remind me, your eyes darkening.
"But I am," I reply. "And a human would be dead with injuries like these. So please, please, anata, let me help you. Let me do this for you, just this once."
"That was what you said last time," you answer, "and the time before that." But I can tell that, as on those previous occasions, you have given in. With a sigh, you lie back down and close those golden eyes. You are still as I dress your wounds, occasionally flinching. When I am finished, I arrange the pillows more comfortably under your head and stroke your silver forelock. You turn your emotionless gaze on me, to weary even to speak.
I take your hand and interlace my frail human fingers with your strong clawed ones. I can feel the tired ache in your body as though it were my own. My concern for you fills me again, and I gently kiss your cheek, murmuring words of comfort, though you may not think you need to hear them.
"I shall recover," you say, turning your face to the wall. "You need not concern yourself." You sigh, and without looking at me, stop my impending words by placing your graceful and commanding fingers against my lips. "I am aware of your human worries," you continue. "I shall never truly understand them, however, they are a part of you, and heaven forbid that this one should disparage any part of his wife."
"Hush, anata," I say, blushing. "Go to sleep." You turn your gaze back toward me, slightly more alive than before. You smirk at my flushed face, but say nothing, and close your eyes.
"Anata?" I whisper. "Are you asleep yet?" You crack an eye open. "No, as you can see," you reply sarcastically. "What are we going to tell the children?" I ask you softly. "The truth," you say with a dismissive shrug.
"I don't know the truth," I tell you. "Why were you injured? You hardly ever are. This foe of yours must have been very mighty indeed."
"Hmph," you snort. "I dispatched him in the end." "But the battle must have been difficult," I press on. You look a little too unconcerned. I know that you are hiding something from me. And why would you do that unless…
"Sesshomaru, was it about me?"
You make no reply. I can tell by your stiffened face and closed expression that I have hit the truth. "Oh, anata, why?" I mourn. "Why do you get yourself into these situations? Do you want me to be the death of you?"
"Have you so little faith in me?" you say rather coldly. I shake my head. "But Sesshomaru, you knew what would it be like for us," I point out. "You told me it would be difficult, and we would be mocked, and I would be threatened, but not to worry."
"Because I would destroy those who dared threaten you or even sully your name," you fill in the clause that I omitted.
"But look what's happened to you," I whisper, tears filling my eyes as I pull away the blankets and indicate your wounds. I can tell they still have not healed. An ordinary cut on your demon skin would knit itself shut in less than an hour, and even the scar would fade after a few moments, leaving no mark on that strong, lithe body. But these wounds will take at least two days to heal, perhaps more. And you were obviously in excruciating pain.
"Sesshomaru, it is pointless to risk your life seeking revenge over minor insults," I try to convince you. "It would not help me in the slightest to lose you."
"Say what you will," you return sharply, "I will not stand by and allow anyone who threatens your life to walk free!" You sit up, despite your obvious discomfort, and seize my hand, nearly crushing my fingers in your powerful grip. You loosen your hold somewhat, and press my captive hand to your lips with a fierce tenderness you rarely display. "You are my mate," you remind me in slightly gentler voice than the one you were just using, "and I will not allow any lowlife scum to threaten you!"
"Lie down!" I scold, glaring at you. You look fiercely back. But this is one staring contest I am determined to win, and I do, simply because you are exhausted. You sink back onto your pillows, and close your eyes for what I hope will be the last time this night. You need your rest.
You talk in your sleep; you always have. Your words never fail to disturb me. Tonight is even worse than usual. I had hoped that you would sleep deeply this night, but, obstinate to the end, you toss, turn, and mutter awful sounding things. At first it sounds like nonsense, then I begin distinguishing syllables, mostly my name. You snarl at an invisible enemy, and your outstretched claws tear into the sheet covering you.
"Rin," you choke out my name as though it is using up your last breath. "Rin…" Concerned about your raspy breathing, I take your hand in both of mine. "Anata? Sesshomaru, I'm here. Are you in pain?" Your claws dig unconsciously into my arm. I wince.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," I say softly, gently drawing you into a hug. You resist at first, and I begin to sing softly, the song I composed in my childhood years, when I was eye-level with your knee and couldn't think beyond my next meal. Everything was simpler than, my feelings for you were not so intense and did not burn into my heart as they do now. I was free to idolize you without ramifications, but as your wife, things are more complex.
You quiet as I sing to you, much like a child. You press your cheek to mine with a weariness that you will only show to me. And the weariness is because of me… because I am, and always will be, your weakness.
Well… that's it for my second story. I admit, I cringed about the use of the word "mate" but figured I had no choice. It just seems to fit them a little better. For Inuyasha and Kaogme, however, I would say that she will be his wife and not his "mate."
Reviews appreciated, as always!