Author: WhiteWolfCub
Genre: Humor/Romance
Category: Harry Potter
Warnings: Slash between Sirius/Remus, some angst in about two chapters, and swearing.
Summary: A freakish potions accident has caused Remus and Sirius to switch bodies, but their minds still intact. What can they learn by being the other? Will they finally fall in love?

Notes: Okay, after looking at the last chapter I was like, okay, now I really have to get started on the next chapter. So, this one will be a long one (hopefully) and I hope it does not disappoint. So, I don't really have much to say except that the epilogue will be posted shortly after this chapter for HnE-SnE-SnE. There are some things that are going to be explained in that chapter and the rest should all fit into place. I will say this though, John is dead, and so is the fake. Okay, there are no fabulous faking of death he is dead. Okay, well, after that, on with this chapter then ne?

Gaspeth! On with the story!

---Chapter Four---

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"I don't like this."

"You don't like anything Sirius."

"Well, Remus, you wouldn't like this when you're being poked and prodded with medical things!"

"Wimp."

Sirius glared at Remus for a good minute before the dabbing of the alcohol stuff took to his bruise again. Well, he thought snidely, at least it was Remus' body and not his own. This would probably explain why Remus was taking such good care of this bruise after all. It wasn't his fault Malfoy suddenly retaliated and threw him off his head and into a wall. Sirius didn't even know Remus' body was so small it could easily be thrown off. If it were him, well…

Sirius indulged himself in his fantasies as Remus finished, huffing in irritation. He put his emergency supplies back in his trunk as he sat back down on the floor, looking deep in thought. He had yet to tell Sirius of his own adventures in the older teen's body. Shuddering, he hugged Sirius' body tighter around himself, still feeling all of those girls pressing around him. Too bad he ruined Sirius' image. Snickering silently he let his attention go back to Sirius, whom had a goofy grin on his face.

Did he want to know?

….

Of course.

"What are you thinking about?" Remus asked casually, making sure to mentally prepare himself for the answer. Sirius glanced at him, the smile still on his face.

"How I tackled Malfoy and chewed off his hair, I made you look crazy," he giggled, laying down on the bed in a lazy fashion. "You should have seen his face."

Remus twitched.

No mental preparation prepared him for this answer...

Sighing, he decided that he was going to be calm about this.

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James looked up, every head turning to the direction of the stairs, where pained yells and cries of mercy were echoing from. Shaking his head, he looked at Lily, who was eyeing the staircase with barely veiled fascination. Cocking his head to the side he cleared his throat, looking confused.

She gazed at him passively before grinning. "I knew it," she spoke softly before walking out of the common room. James looked back at the dorm staircase briefly before shrugging and going back to his blueprint.

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Sirius breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the swiping hand feebly try to hit him again. He was for once thankful about Remus' small body being able to fit under such a tight space between the floor and bed.

"Sirius! Get out here I will kill you!"

"NEVER!" He yelled back, biting his lip and squeaking as the flailing arm made another swipe at him. Stifling a yelp at another close call he shimmied farther away, earning an irritated growl from the other teen. Sirius was, in all retrospect, stuck in a situation he really didn't want to be in. Remus, in his body, could maim, murder, or worse yet…castrate. Sirius shuddered so bad at the mental image the bed above him shook. However, a clamp on the arm sent his wayward thoughts out the window and into the garden, his shout sounding more like a squeal then anything.

"OH MY GOD, DON'T HURT ME!" He screeched, his mind working over possible things to say to Remus in order to ask for forgiveness. Than again, a snide part in the back of his brain sneered, he could always beg his way out. Sirius snorted inwardly, not noticing that he had been dragged completely out from under the bed.

Looking up he froze, eep'd, and tried to scurry back under the bed. Only one problem Sirius, that inner voice spoke again, your body is much stronger than Remus', you couldn't pull away even if you wanted too.

Damn, he hated his inner critic.

"Tell me everything you know," Remus whispered dangerously. Sirius didn't think he could be that scary looking, what with the eyes flashing 'DEATH' and all. Swallowing the newly formed lump in his throat, he began to say the best things he could.

"I know Potions," he murmured meekly. A fist slammed by his head, and he clammed up.

"Tell me about what you did to Malfoy," Remus hissed. Death, death, DEATH! Sirius nearly cried.

"He taunted me about being a homo, I tackled him, chewed on his hair, then he threw me off," Sirius explained, making a face at the first part. "I mean, he made me mad! He called me a fag!" He ignored the hurt that went through Remus' expression.

A few more moments of silence ensued before Remus nodded, getting up and walking into the connecting bathroom. Sirius sat up, wondering what he had done wrong, until the door to dorms flew open, and James came staggering in, looking flustered. All thoughts of Remus fled his mind.

"Oh hey Remus," James sighed, flopping onto Peter's bed. Sirius didn't dare say anything though; the other boy wouldn't hear him anyway.

"Hey…what happened to you?" He asked, being as Remus-like as he could. James opened one eye and studied him.

"I got mauled by every occupant in the Gryffindor common room," he stated, burrowing his head in the pillows. However, a few seconds later and he raised his head, shivered and sniffed, before groaning and getting off the bed and going to his own. Sirius mentally thanked whatever god was up there that he and Remus had the farthest beds. Wouldn't want James or Peter on his.

"Why would that be?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"Because," James sighed dramatically, rolling onto his stomach. "Everyone heard your screams of terror down there, got intrigued, and mauled me for answers."

"Gryffindors did this?" Sirius asked imprudently. James nodded.

"It was horrible, so many feet…so many," the hazel eyed teen said dramatically, burrowing himself in the covers of his bed. "No more, no more…I'm going to bed, they can't get me in my nightmares."

"Dreams buddy," Sirius corrected.

"I don't care!" James wailed, before his head disappeared under the covers of his cocoon. Sirius stared at him for a moment before Remus stepped out of the bathroom, a smile on his face. Sirius made note that it didn't reach his eyes.

"I'll be back in an hour or two," he sighed, leaving the dorms in a hurry.

Sirius only stared.

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Lily's eyes scanned over her potions textbook, her gaze swimming with barely veiled victory. She was very happy.

Okay she was happier than normal, but only because she had just then discovered how to hold half of the Marauders in the palm of her hands.

"Ahhehahahahahahaaahaa," she cackled, throwing her head back in an attempt to make it more evil sounding. Honestly, this was perfect.

"I know exactly how to get Remus and Sirius back to normal," she whispered. "But they're gonna have to do something for me first. Hark and rejoice the loop is no longer Lily-less!"

With that, she left the classroom, flicking out her 'lumos' spell as she went along.

---TBC---

Short again I know, sorry. Anyway, next chapter we find out what Lily wants from Remus and Sirius, Remus gets in a bit of trouble when he wakes up the next morning, and Sirius ventures to find that gay people aren't that bad…hot even.

Important Notice: Completely Crazy has been rewritten with an even BETTER plotline and story. True to be one of my best ever. Watch for it tomorrow because then I will have read through it and other crap like that. Also, the chapter is much longer.

See you there!

-WhiteWolfCub

---TBC---