Hey everyone me and bob are back with another new story!
Bob: NOOO! She's back!
Tear: (throws another boot at bob's head) let the story begin! Oh and I do not own beyblade 'coz if I did I would make Ming-Ming suffer! Mwahahahahahah!
Please note this is a personal fic and parts are exaggerated. This fic also contains cutting, attempted suicide, anorexia and hints at bulimia. If you do not like this type of fic please do not read, this is in your own best interest.
(Just so you know this is where the story starts)
What is perfection? It's a funny thing; I has a different meaning to every one. So what is my interpretation of perfection? Well mine is to become what everyone wants to see…. You know skinny, smart but not too smart, pretty, dose what she's told to please everyone around her and tells people what they most want to hear, saying it with a smile on her face and look's happy and 'prefect' at all times. So what's your definition of perfection?, Just take a moment and think about it. I did. Do you want to know what I found out? Well I found out that there is no such thing a 'perfection'. It's something that is unattainable. All we can do is be our-self's and no one can expect more. But I found that out a little too late. I found out after I did something that I've regretted everyday since I did it. Here is my story….
I sighed in relive at the thought of school being over at last. We (me, Tyson and Kenny) were sitting in Tyson's favourite class, by which I mean the only class he doesn't fall asleep, food technology. I walked out of there as fast as I can out of that horrible class room and waited out side for Tyson and Kenny, they both appeared after a few minuets, Kenny greeted me with a smile.
"Hey. Hilary why did you run out of the class so fast?" Kenny asked confusedly
"Pher" (translation: yeah) Tyson said while he continued to stuff his face with the muffins he made and Kenny made in class (AN: there are so many people in my class that they had to split it in to two separate groups for safety reasons. Hilary is in group B and Tyson and Kenny are in group A.).
Just looking at those delicious chocolate covered balls of hate made me sick to my stomach! I gave them a confused look
"What do you mean?"
"What do you mean, what do I mean! You ran out of there so fast you almost broke the cities speeding limit!" Tyson yelled after downing his share of cakes.
"No I didn't! Anyway we better get going before kai makes you run laps again because were late" with that they carried on down the hall way to the exit.
At the dojo
Hilary was sitting in the back porch (AN: I don't know what it is called but it's the flour that you usually see them sitting in the anime) next to Kenny, looking a little pale, while holding on to her stomach trying in vain to get it to shut- up. Luckily Kenny was sitting far enough a way and concentrating too hard to notice the strange noises coming from the girl. Tyson were at one of the beydishes battling and trash talking, max and daichi were doing the same, but kai on the other hand was leaning against one of the sides of the house with his eyes closed but every so often would steal a glance at hilary.
I wonder what's wrong with hilary? She looks so pale….. fragile even at the moment, Urgh! Why do I even care! It's not like I have feelings for her or something! My eyes widened in realisation. But what if I do have feelings for her? No! I can't have feelings for her! My abbey training forbids it... but if I do then it would explain a lot.
Like why I get so annoyed when she, Kenny and the black hole are late coming here from school late and make Tyson run 50 extra laps, because there's know doubt in my mind that it's tyson's fault! Even if I do these know way I'm ever going to tell her or anyone else for that matter!
Max and daichi's beyblade's landed out of the dishes snapping kai out of his train of thoughts.
"Okay practice is over everyone!" kai shouted a little agitated or reasons unknown to the rest of the team. Hilary hadn't heard what kai said and was still sitting in the same position; clutching her stomach and staring at the flour. she was snapped out of her thoughts by a hand being placed on her shoulder, she jumped at the sudden contact and turned around to see who it was.
When she turned around she saw max with a big huge smile on his lips, but it soon faded a way when he looked at her face. Hilary saw this action and asked
"What's wrong max?"
"Kai said practice is over…. Are you ok?"
"Of course max why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know, I just look pale is all"
"I'm ok max, don't worry about me" hilary said and forced a smile. Max saw the smile and smiled back. Max stud up then helped Hilary up and they walked in to the living room together.
10 minutes later
"hilary would you make us something to eat!" whined Tyson
"yeah were hungry!" joined daichi
"then why don't you have ray do it?"
"Because one he's passed out on the flour and two we want your cooking!" daichi demanded.
Hilary looked a little uneasy then sighed.
"Alright then" and got up and left for the kitchen.
30 minuets later
Everyone was sitting around the table (except hilary) eating the meal hilary made for them. Hilary walked past and said
"Guy's I'm leaving now I have to get home before dark" the guys either looked up and said bye (ray and max) or just mumbled something and returned to what they were doing
(Tyson and daichi and Kenny), she smiled and left.
She was almost at the exit when some one placed a hand on her shoulder
" are you not coming in to eat? Aren't you hungry?" said a cold voice. She turned around to see kai, his voice sounded cold but you could tell by his face that he was trying to be kind.
Hilary just smiled
"No, I'm getting something from home"
"Hn" kai grunted suspiciously And with that se left and him standing all alone.
Hn, I'm going to have to keep an eye on her, I'm starting to worry about her. I stud there thinking for a few more moments and decided to go back inside and sleep. (AN: it about 9:00 pm).
Hilary walked in the door and announced her presence, she walked in to the living room o find her mother and two younger brothers.
"here' dad?" I asked uncaringly knowing the answer
"he's at work, how was your da-" she was interrupted by the sound's of swearing and fighting coming from her brothers after she split them up and calmed her youngest brother down, she turned to hilary again and opened her mouth to speak when the phone rang and she left the room.
Hilary was left with her two brothers in the living room. They started fighting and yelling again. There mother yelled for them to shut-up.
"yeah hilary shut-up"
"be quite Paul" she retorted
"not for a stupid ugly cow like you!" he said
" yeah! Have you seen how fat she is! I'm surprised she even fits through the door!" Agreed the other, while pocking her in the stomach and making various fat jokes about her. Hilary had all she could take from her brothers and left for her room. But a hand grabbed hold of her upper arm and stopped her from leaving she turned around to see who it was.
"hilary your fat! And there's nothing you can do about it! So stop trying to run away and deny it! You're a fat ugly bitch and no one loves you! Or will ever love you until you lose a few pounds!" Andy said with a sneer
"don't you mean a lot of pounds!" interjected Paul
hilary just stared at her younger brothers with pure hatred, turned and left the room with a sour look on her face. She walked past her mom and her mom saw the look.
"hil dear what's wrong?" at that moment Andy walked in the room.
"Not know hilary I'm talking to your brother" her mother cut her off and started talking to her brother. Hilary's face dropped into a frown.
"Right" Hilary sighed in defeat, but know one seemed to hear what she said or that she was even in the room. She sighed again and still no body noticed her. Her mother was too busy complementing her brother on how he had been a good boy today, even though he had been fighting in school and had been sent home early because of bad behaviour. She turned and left the room and that people she hated most yet could not leave.
Hilary flopped down on her bed and sighed in exhaustion. She had been so tired lately, but she didn't know why. she rested her head on her pillow, letting the rest of her body fall where it may and ex-hailed deeply in content. And fell asleep.
1hour and 30 min later
hilary was awoken by the sound of her mother yelling up the stairs.
"hilary what do you want for dinner!" hilary left her room at stood at the top of the stairs so her mother could hear her better.
"I'm not hungry mom I ate at tyson's!" I yelled down the stairs.
"okay!" she yelled back but by then I wasn't listening. I walked back in to my room, and lay on my bed again.
I bet your probably wondering why I did that, well it all started a few week's ago.
xX flash back Xx
Hilary, Paul and Andy were sitting in the living room, while there mom was in the backyard smocking and talking on the phone. Hilary was sitting in the arm chair while her brothers were on the coach Paul playing with Andy's phone and Andy playing with his game boy.
"Wow! You've got a picture of Daniel! She's so hot, the perfect woman!" Paul said in amazement. His eyes scanning over the phone screen care full not to miss a millimetre of picture unseen. Andy just smirked at his reaction.
"I don't understand, what is so great about her anyway?" hilary said coldly "what dose she have that I don't?" hilary added bitterly. She heard Paul and Andy snort.
"well for one thing, she is smart not stupid like you" Paul said
"she's skinny, not a fat cow like you" Andy said
"she's beautiful, not ugly like you" Paul said
"and she dose not look like a barn yard animal, unlike you who look's like a cow. Just to list few." After Andy finished this statement he and Paul broke in to fits of uncontrollable laughter. When they finally regained there composer Paul made his final statement.
"and I'll repeat again the most important fact again; SHE'S NOT FAT!" and with that the two left the room, again in fits of laughter at the memory.
xX flash back end Xx
And that brings us to why I'm lying to my friends and family. Why I'm skipping dinner I tell my friends that I'm going home for dinner and my mom that I'm going out with my friends, but I really going to the park to read a book to keep my mind off the hunger pains. Why I tell Tyson and the guys that I'm getting tea at home and my mom that I've had tea at tyson's.
There (my brothers) words don't hurt me anymore, they can't hurt me anymore. They don't hurt me because I'm numb, I don't fell anything at all anymore. And the simple fact that there true. I am fat. I've heard what people say about me. Most only faze me a little, but that one hurt a lot, in fact it was the thing that pushed me in to what I am doing now (along with he brothers of course).
xX flash back Xx
hilary was walking back to her class room after forgetting her bag when she walked past a class and heard people talking, two girls to be exact. Now Hilary was never one to eavesdrop, but she heard her name being mentioned and got curious.
"hey, you know that hilary girl?" one girl said
"yeah, miss loud mouth that hangs around with the beybrakers?" the other answered
"yeah that one."
"OMFG I can't stand that bitch!"
"yeah I know! Who dose she think she is! Yelling at people like that! Hey have you noticed that when she shout's she sounds like a cackling witch?" the other laughed hysterically at the statement.
"yeah you right! And she has the noise to prove it!" the started to laugh again.
"and what's with those clothes she wears? Those baggy pants? Whats she trying to hide? Fat legs or something?"
"you think her legs are fat?"
"yeah I bet! I mean why wouldn't her legs be fat! The rest of her is!" a new voice entered the convocation. Hilary gasped quietly, she recognised the voice, it belonged to her supposed 'best friend'. She looked in the class room to she them all laughing and calling her every name under the sun.
hilary couldn't take any more, she grabbed her bag and ran out of the school.
xX end of flash back Xx
I'm in the bathroom connected to my room now just thinking about my life and how pathetic I am. You want to know something funny I like this guy but I bet he will never notice me. I'm not pretty enough. He's always around all these gorgeous fan girls all the time, he'd never notice me, im just the fat ugly unwanted team mascot only there for amusement. I pull up one on the lose tiles and then reach in side a broken flour board. I rack around for a while until I found what I was looking for.
tear: well how was it? Yeah I know it was long, boring and seemed like it dragged on forever . if you want me to continue please tell me. I will probably make it ehier a two or a three-shot it depends on how long the chapters are. Well anyway this is me done and bob you've been good through out the story so you get a treat! Helium!
Bob: (throws confetti in the air and blows a whistle) Yaaaaay!
Tear: read and review please!