A/N: Thanks again!
Grissom sat in the waiting room of the hospital with his head in his hands. His hands and clothes were blood-stained, and his heart had been torn into pieces. Seeing Sara lying on the ground, neck drenched in blood and clothes torn off had been absolutely horrifying. She looked so scared...and so oh-so pale...
Inside the ambulance, the paramedics' worst fear was the blood she was losing from her neck. It didn't look like the blade had knicked an artery, but what if it had? What if...she bled out? What if she died, and Grissom never got a chance to say goodbye? He had been having so many nightmares about this lately, ever since one of the last cases the team had been working on.
Debbie Marlin. Four-nineteen called-in by her friend and coworker, nothing very peculiar about it. That was, until of course, Grissom walked into the bathroom where her body was and noticed her haunting resemblance to Sara. Sitting hunched-over in the fetal position, she stared up at everyone who entered the room with cold eyes. Her neck was drenched in blood, spatter over the shower walls and doors.
He had tried to keep Sara away from the body, he didn't want her to be as shocked as he had been when he noticed the resemblance. So instead, he sent her off to check the perimeter. Catherine had noticed the same resemblance with Debbie to Sara as well, but they tried to keep the younger woman away from her, it was the last thing she needed, they both knew.
But then Sara had to get her toe prints and trotted into the morgue. She had been busy completing her task when she noticed something about the deceased woman in front of her- brown hair, long legs, pale skin, thin build, brown eyes. Sara had tried to ignore it as best she could, but she finally couldn't help it anymore and moved her chair closer to the woman's face to get a good look. And that was when she saw it.
That could've been her lying on that metal slab.
And Grissom realized that. At that house, looking down at the body, for a split second he thought it actually was Sara. And afterwards that was when he vowed he wasn't going to let Sara end up like Debbie Marlin. He was never going to have to process her crime-scene, or see her body laying in the morgue on Doc Robbin's metal table.
And here she was, at the hospital with a slashed throat and possibility of sexual assault.
What a good job Grissom had done protecting her.
Grissom hadn't even realized it, but tears had begun falling down his face onto the white linoleum floor of the waiting room in the hopsital. Something warm and wet trickling down his cheek brought him out of his trance and that was when he finally realized that he was crying. Sitting up, he wiped his tears away with the back of his sleeve, taking off his glasses and holding them in front of him.
It had been almost an hour now. What was taking so long? Was...she even...alive? Grissom had to know, he couldn't stand it anymore and he was getting antsy.
Getting up from his seat, Grissom headed over to the front desk, looking over at the receptionist. He was getting impatient, this receptionist was clearly blind as she had not seen him standing there yet. Grissom knocked on the wall and her eyes immediately when from checking her MySpace to looking up at the man standing at the desk. Quickly closing her window, she cleared her throat. "How can I help you?" she asked.
"I'm Gil Grissom, I'm here for Sara Sidle, I'm her supervisor and emergency contact," Grissom explained. "...Can I see her?"
"...I'm not sure, Sir, the doctor hasn't come out of her room yet, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait," she told him. "Why don't you take a seat? I'm sure the doctor will be out soon."
Grissom just sighed, slowly heading back to his chair. But that was when he saw the door to Sara's room open up and a female nurse walked out of the room holding a SART kit in her hand. Ignoring the receptionist's pleas for him to come back, he quickly stormed into the hallway through the doors, walking in front of the nurse. "How is she? What did you find?" he asked.
"...Who are you?" she asked.
"I'm Gil Grissom..." he said. "I--"
"Oh, so you're Grissom..." she smiled a little. "Sara's been asking for you."
"She's...awake?" Grissom asked.
"Not anymore, I'm afraid," she sighed. "We had to put her under while the doctor stitched up the cut across her neck."
"...I see.." Grissom said. "...Did you find any signs of sexual assault?"
"Luckily, no," she said. "I found bruising of tissue, but none that was severe, indicating recent sexual intercourse. ...But I suppose that that was consensual."
"...Yes...it was..." Grissom sighed. "...Please..? Can I see her?"
The woman sighed, looking down at the floor. And then looking up at Grissom, she smiled a little. "Go ahead, the doctor's almost finished with her stitches."
"Thank you.." Grissom said, quickly walking into Sara's room. She looked a little better, that was for sure. Her cuts and scrapes had been cleaned and now her neck was stitched-up and covered in a thick white bandage. Her lip was no longer bleeding and her heart was beating steadily, as indicated by the steady fall-and-rise of the heart monitor.
"Hello." The doctor's voice made Grissom jump. "I suppose you're Dr. Grissom, Ms. Sidle's emergency contact?" he asked, throwing his gloves away and washing his hands.
"Yes," Grissom said, clearing his throat. "How is she...?"
"Well, the loss of blood from the wound she sustained to her neck was significant, though non-fatal. I don't think a blood transfusion will be necessary," he explained. "She has various cuts and scrapes, none that will scar."
"Good..." Grissom sighed, walking over to her bed. Sitting down in the chair next to her bed, he slowly reached for her hand, squeezing it softly.
"I'll let you stay the night," the doctor smiled. "Tomorrow, she should be able to leave if she is stable."
"Thank you..." Grissom said, watching as the doctor nodded and walked out of the room. Grissom looked up at her, noticing the oxygen tube running from the side of the bed into the small plug attached to her nostrils. He had to reassure himself that she was okay, that it was probably just there to help her breathing since her throat had just been slashed.
"...Hey, Sara..." Grissom started. His only response was the soft beeping of the machines around him. "...I know...you probably can't hear me," he said. "But...I...want you to know that...I'm...sorry..." he said. "..I...never wanted anything like this to happen. I love you, and...I should never had sent you to that crime-scene alone...I was so caught up with other things, my own case and paperwork, that...I didn't stop to think about the possible dangers of sending you out there...
...and...you told me, the other day, that...you had heard what I said in the interrogation in the Debbie Marlin case?" he asked.
"What the hell was that?" Sara yelled, running into his office.
"What?" he asked, confused, looking up from his mountain of paperwork.
"I heard what you said in that interrogation!" she screamed, sounding more hurt than angry.
"...Sara.." Grissom sighed.
"I don't want to hear it!" Sara yelled, running out of his office.
"...I...said that...because...I..was scared. Now...that...I had you, I didn't know if it was for the better. I thought...I would ultimately end up hurting you, or...we'd end up getting hell from Ecklie, and I knew you didn't need that after everything that's happened..." he said. "...I was a fool, Sara...and..." He swallowed hard. "Now...that..I almost lost you, I...realize that...I can't live without you...
Every waking second without you is tearing me apart, Sara," Grissom said. "I can't...picture myself getting up in the mornings without seeing your face," he whispered. "...I can't sit down in the evenings with a cozy movie without expecting to hold you in my arms," he said, his eyes starting to glisten with tears. "And...I can't...go to sleep every night...without...seeing your face.." he whispered.
"Stop it," Sara whispered.
Grissom blinked, hearing the hoarse whisper come from the limp figure laying on the bed. "..S-Sara?"
"Stop it, Grissom," Sara whispered, slowly opening her eyes. When she opened her eyes that was when Grissom saw the tears. A lone tear glided down her cheek, wetting the bandage wrapped around her neck as she looked up at him. "Stop it, Grissom, I can't stand it anymore," she whispered.
"Sara...it's okay, honey," Grissom whispered. "Don't try and talk..."
"No...Grissom...I'm...sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry...that I blew up at you, I'm sorry...for everything..."
"It's okay, honey," he said again, choking back a sob. "Everything's okay..."
Sara nodded slowly, reaching for his hand. When she felt it she grabbed it and squeezed it tightly, looking up into his eyes. "These...past few days have been hell," she whispered. "...I've..cried myself to sleep, because I missed the feeling of your arms around me as I fell to sleep," she whispered. "I've worked multiple shifts because I didn't want to go home to an empty apartment," she said. "I...needed to hear your voice...
I want to hear you tell me that I look good in my dirty blue CSI scrubs after I've spent five hours processing a car. I want to hear you ask me if you can kiss me.." Sara whispered. "I want you feel you again, I need to..."
Grissom just looked over at her, tears running down his face. "You will, Sara, I promise."
"..I won't ever do that again," Sara whispered. "I can't be without you."
"You won't, Sara, and neither will I," Grissom told her, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. "We'll be with eachother...and we'll love eachother.." Grissom told her. "...And by the way.." he whispered.
"What?" Sara whispered.
"...You look good in that hospital gown," he grinned.
Sara just laughed softly.