Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy (or Patrick Dempsey, sadly), however if either

are on sale, I'm definitely an interested buyer

This is Mer/Der fluff. I think after "Damage Case" we could all use a serious dose of Mer/Der fluff. So here it is . . .it's basically my first fanfic. (I wrote another one, but it's by hand so it's not posted yet) so please be gentle. (the italics is flashback, btw)

Derek walked along the water feeling a nervousness in the pit of his stomach that he had never experienced before. He was a world class neurosurgeon, and yet had never been as terrified as he felt today. With his patients it was their lives on the line, their lives and his career. Today it was his life on the line. It filled his stomach with butterflies that he hadn't remembered feeling . . .well since that day two years ago.

"Meredith! Meredith!" Derek yelled up at her closed bedroom window, "Please come outside and talk to me, you just have to listen for a couple minutes. Please!"

No response. Derek leaned over, picking some small pebbles up in his hand and launched them at the glass. He was nearly 40 years old, but tonight with butterflies in his stomach he felt like a teenager.

The window opened. "Shhh!" Mer yelled down, "You'll wake Izzie and George!"

"Then come outside, we need to talk." Derek responded.

Meredith left the window and minutes later she was outside by his side. Wearing his favourite Dartmouth sweater, the one with the hole in the back, smelling like lavender and looking like heaven. "What could you possibly have to say to me?" Meredith hissed. No one said heaven had to be happy. "I thought we were over, I thought this was over."

"Mer, you know I didn't mean that."

"Derek, I don't know what you mean anymore." She looked at him for the first time. The hurt in her eyes broke his heart. Suddenly everything he had planned to say fled from his head.

He kissed her. Fast, but not soft. Full of the passion he had been keeping pent up for months. At first she was stiff, but soon softened in his arms. Just as she got into it, he pulled away. "I love you." He said in a shaky breath.

Meredith looked at him, looked at the tears forming in his eyes and feeling the tears forming in her own. In those eyes she had seen her future. Now she just saw the past…the past love and the past pain. She thought of Finn, who seemed to be incapable of hurting her. "I can't Derek, not this time."

With that she walked back into the house.

Derek felt a shiver go through his spine as he thought of that night, the night he had felt like he was going to die. He remembered spending the rest of it at Joe's, thinking he had lost it all. It was never a good memory. The hand resting in his gave his hand a small squeeze.

"Der, you alright? You seem a little quiet tonight," she asked him, in the gentle voice he felt had been made for him. He glanced at her, and knew that all the pain he had gone through had been worth it, it had brought him here. The setting sun made the soft golden hair shine a little more than usual. The usual smell of lavender filled the air around them. Her soft gray eyes were full of concern and love. Meeting his eyes, her bright-as-sunlight smile spread across her face. With that Derek felt the bad memories melt away, and all the fear along with them.

Sometimes he found himself wondering what he had done to deserve this wonderful angel in his life, but he knew better than to question it. He shouldn't have, she should have stayed away, but she hadn't. She was his.

"Nothing, Mer. Everything's great. I'm just thinking about us."

"Thinking is good," Meredith responded, leaning in and brushing her lips against his, in a soft gentle kiss.

It had been three months since that night outside her house. Three months in which a bouquet of lavender had been sent to her house every day. Three months in which once a week she'd get a different card, telling her how sorry he was and how much he loved her. Three months of trying to avoid him at the hospital, and yet never being able to do so. Three months of kisses that shouldn't have been happening… in the supply closet, in the on-call rooms, in the OR and of course in the elevators. Three months in which he had repeatedly told him that she couldn't do this, that she couldn't love him again.

The night before, Derek, making one last effort to convince Meredith to give him another chance had brought Meredith a new dog, to replace the one they had lost together only months before. (AN: I really don't want Doc to die, really really don't . . .but I just have a bad feeling that he may) She had refused him, deep down he knew she would, and now he was trying to figure out if he could live without her. It just didn't seem right or fair.

Derek was walking through their park. Everything in his life seemed to be theirs now, even if she didn't want any part of it. He was watching what was supposed to be their dog romp in the trees, trying to catch any small rodent that came his way. He was a playful puppy, Meredith would love him, Derek thought with a sad smile.

Doc II looked his way, just as Derek heard someone come up behind him. The smell of lavender took his breath away, as a small hand slipped inside his own.

"I want to co-own the dog," the voice Derek heard in his dreams every night said.

"I don't know, I've always felt bad for dogs who had to go in between homes. Think about poor Doc, it must have been so hard on him. Maybe that's why he died at such a young age," Derek joked, feeling a hope he had thought had ceased to exist.

"This has to be slow, Der. We have a lot of time to make up for, a lot of pain that needs to be healed," Meredith answered in a surprisingly strong voice.

Derek turned and looked at her, expecting to see a scared, teary face. Instead he saw the brilliant smile, and a spark in her eyes he had thought he had permanently put out. "We can do anything you want." (AN: Please everyone, when you read that line, think of the first episode)

"Good," Meredith said holding his hand tighter, and leaning in to brush her lips softly against his.

"I knew the dog would get you," Derek laughed for the first time in what felt like ages.

It had been nearly two years since they had met up in the park, and Derek still wasn't sure what had made Meredith finally have a change of heart. He was never going to ask, he liked to think her love for him won out at the end of the day.

Derek looked out at their ferry boats, the ferry boats had been their since that day on the elevator before everything had started between them. He felt the salty air hit his face, and the tiny hand surrounded by his larger one and stopped thinking that his life was on the line today. This was his life, this is where he was supposed to be. This was where Meredith was supposed to be. Very few people found their soul mates in life, Derek knew that. He had been lucky enough to not only find his Mer once, but to find her again. He didn't have to worry about losing her, it would never happen. They belonged together, here in Seattle, holding hands and watching the sunset over the ferry boats.

"I love you," Derek said for no particular reason.

"I love you too" Meredith responded, feeling his words warm her heart and leaning her head on his shoulder.

Derek took a deep breath and reached his spare hand into the not-so-empty pocket in his jacket. Before Meredith could register what was going on her had released her hand and was down on one knee in front of her, holding a small black jewelry box.

"Marry me, Mer?" His words were simple and short. He didn't need more than that, she knew what they meant, she knew how he felt.

Meredith's eyes brimmed over with tears as she looked at the small sparkling diamond ring in front of her. Derek could afford bigger, but he knew her. This one was perfect for her. "Yes," she whispered bringing her hands to her face in shock and joy. "Yes, yes, yes."

Derek slipped the ring onto her finger and stood up and wrapped her in his arms, feeling tears of joy roll down his cheeks. The people surrounding them clapping for the happy couple barely registered. He has made many mistakes in his life, he knew that, but finally everything was right.

"I love you, Dr. Shepherd," Meredith whispered in his ear.

"I love you too, future Dr. Grey-Shepherd."

"No, I just want to be Dr. Shepherd. I don't care if it's confusing, I just want your name."

"It's yours, baby. Forever." Their lips found each others, and whatever small details of the outside world remained quickly disappeared. They had eachother, and nothing on the outside mattered.

I know it was sappy as all hell, but didn't we all need that. Lol. As I said, it's my first one … so please REVIEW! When I write in the future they won't be as sappy, but I've been thinking about the season finale all day (which was my boyfriend's fault . . .he randomly told me today that police officers consider bomb victims pink mist) and I just needed some Mer/Der fluff. But please let me know what you think!

On a side note . . . should I continue this story? Into the wedding and married life, or just leave it how it is as a one-shot?