The Hellsing Files.
After suffering heavy losses at the hands of their enemies, the Hellsing Organization was forced to take recruits wherever they could be found. Integra Hellsing even had to resort to conducting job interviews with characters from other anime. The interviews were recorded for posterity and dubbed "The Hellsing Files."
Interview Tape #1 Ranma Soutome.
Integra Hellsing sat at her desk staring flatly at the door to her office. She had spent most of her morning personally interviewing various people for membership in the Hellsing Organization. Normally she didn't interview people personally, but these were supposedly special people who were applying for command positions.
She was currently waiting for the next person to make his way up the stairs and into her office. She opened the folder lying in front of her and read the name. "Ranma Soutome." She said flatly. She had read the young man's application and had concluded that he was a bit young and inexperienced. She couldn't fathom why a Japanese teenager wanted to work for Hellsing. She didn't even try to figure out how he had heard of Hellsing to start with.
There was a knock on the door. "Enter." She said.
The door creaked open and in strode a thin young Japanese man. He had a large mop of black hair tied back into a pig tail and was wearing a red Japanese style shirt along with blue trousers. He strode confidently across the room and took a seat in the small uncomfortable chair that had been set in front if Integra's desk.
"Hi there." The young man said.
"Good afternoon Mr. Soutome. I trust your stay in England has been pleasant."
"Yeah, it's been alright. It rains too much though." Ranma said relaxing in the chair with his arms behind his head.
"Yes, I'm afraid it does." Integra sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. She was impressed at how well the boy spoke English, even it was the Yankee version. "How did you come to find out about the Hellsing Organization?"
Ranma shrugged. "I don't remember. I needed a job, something to get me away from my house, so I just started filling out application after application; I don't even remember half of the places I've applied to. I guess this place was one of them."
Integra's left eye twitched slightly. "I see. So do you know what it is we do here at Hellsing?"
Ranma shook his head. "I got no idea. Are you like an orchestra? I'm not too good at playing instruments but I think I could wave that stick around and wear a tux pretty good."
Integra removed her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. After a pause she put them back on her face and looked Ranma dead in the eye. "We hunt down and kill vampires. We are on a mission from God and Her Majesty to rid England and the world of any and all inhuman activities."
Ranma's eyes went wide. "Really?" A faint smile spread over his face. "Hunting vampires? That sounds pretty cool. I think I could do that pretty good." He dropped out of his relaxed sitting position and leaned forward in his small chair. "But uh, are you sure these vampires really exist?"
Integra blinked hard. "Yes they exist."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure."
"Have you ever seen a vampire?"
Integra touched her forehead with her hand. "Yes, I've seen them."
"Really?" Ranma said. "Can I see one?"
"Aw, come on. Why not now? I won't tell anyone if that's what you're all worried about."
"They're sleeping at the moment. When they wake up you can meet them."
A confused look fell over Ranma's face. He rubbed his chin slightly. "I can meet them?"
"Yes. We've got two on out payroll and you can meet them later if we decide to hire you."
"But I thought you said you hunted down and killed vampires? Why are you paying them?" Ranma asked.
Integra sighed. "It's a long story. Suffice to say we have two vampires on our staff that are sworn to hunt their own kind." Ranma opened his mouth to say something else but Integra interrupted. "I'm asking the questions here Mr. Soutome. Now, what skills do you have exactly? It says here on your application that you're a martial artist. Could you elaborate?"
Ranma smiled broadly. "I study anything-goes martial arts. We take in moves from all other styles but we specialize in aerial combat."
"Aerial combat you say? What belt are you?"
"We don't bother with belts." Ranma said happily. "But I can take my father out with out too much trouble and I can give the our schools master a run for his money. Actually, come to think of it, I might be one of if not the best martial artist in the world."
Integra raised her eyebrow. "Really? That's quite a boast."
Ranma stood up and dropped into a combat stance. "I can prove it if you want. The thing to remember about me is that I can do anything if it's got martial arts in it."
Integra waved dismissively at him. "Not in here. You can prove it all you like outside on the firing range."
Ranma seemed not to hear her. He leapt into the air like a grasshopper taking off from a leaf. Integra was taken aback at how high he leapt. The boy went clear up to the ceiling, touched it with his feet and used the ceiling as a spring board to launch himself back towards the ground. Before she knew it her desk had been split into two equal halves by Ranma's foot. He rolled backward off the ground and stood back up into his combat stance. "How's that?"
Integra looked down at the remains of her desk. Her expression had gone totally flat and her eyes slowly floated up to look at Ranma. "You've destroyed my desk."
"I can do the same to any vampires that go nosing around here," Ranma said confidently.
Integra took a long, deep breath. Her favorite desk was in ruins and she was considering drawing the pistol she kept holstered in her uniform and shooting the boy. He's got skills; I'll hand him that. She cleared her throat. "I think that will be all for now Mr. Soutome. If you would be so good as to be present at the outdoor firing range behind the mansion at about noon on the 23rd we can conduct the physical part of the interview."
Ranma looked down at the broken desk and hung his head slightly. "Okay. Uh, sorry about the desk."
"Not as half as sorry as you're going to be," Integra muttered.
"Nothing, nothing. Thank you for coming Mr. Soutome I look forward to finishing this on the 23rd."
Ranma nodded and smiled. He spun around on his heel towards the door and boldly left Integra's office. Integra reached down and lifted up the intercom box from her ruined desk. She held in a small white button on the box and spoke into it. "Walter, get another desk up here."
Walter's voice came back though the box. "Right away My Lady."
Integra set the box back down and picked up a box of cigars. She stuck one in her mouth, lit it and took a long puff. "We're doomed."
End Soutome Interview Tape.