Wolf or Human?
By Death's Angel


Disclaimer: I do not own Princess Mononoke or any of the characters in it.


I stared at the sky, wondering silently if Ashitaka was looking at it too. Upon feeling something nuzzle my side, I glanced down. "Ah... My brother wolf.. What is wrong with you? You should be happy. The animals are safe now." I pat him silently, then looked back up. "I wonder if Ashitaka is looking at this very same sky.."

"No, I'm looking at you."

A voice from one side of the meadow caused me to look across. "Ashitaka?"

"Yes?" He walked out of the shadows to where the moonlight washed over him. Causing him to look more adultish then ever.

"You came back..."

"I told you I'd come to visit you." He moved closer to me and sat beside me.

"So, this is just a visit then?"

"... For now. Once Iron Town is finished I might come out here to stay."

"Please do... You belong here, with me. Not with those humans." I touched his arm gently, and felt his hand cover mine.

An amused smile crossed his face, "You really call yourself a wolf, don't you?"

"I am a wolf. I always have been, and I always will be." I looked at him, confused. We had went over this... Hadn't we?

"San, come with me." He held his hand out to me, I stared at it. "Trust me."

Trust him? Trust *him*? If I could not trust *him* then who could I trust? My brother and sister? They were slowly but surely becoming wild. Soon, they would not be of the Wolf Clan... If only Moro was here.. I looked at his hand again, what did I have to lose other than my life? As if that was even a thought... I placed my hand on his and he helped me to my feet. He kept ahold of my hand and led me to a pool of water. What?

"Look into the water, San." I shot a look at him, then back at the pool. Approaching it ever so cautiously, I peered into it. He came and looked into it beside me. "Tell me what you see... Do you see a wolf there? A wolf like your brother?"

I looked harder, wait... There were red marks on a human girl's face, on each cheek and her forehead. She had short hair with a headband, large eyes, and... Wait... Where was I? "Um... I don't see myself here..." I felt him reach over and touch my face softly. He told me to keep my eyes on the water, and I did.

"What am I doing?"

"You're touching my face..."

"How do you know? Do you see it?"

"No... I feel it."

"What's happening in the water?"

"Your reflection's touching a human girl's face."

"How do you know?"

"I see it."

"How can I be touching you, and you see me touching her, if you aren't her?"

I stopped to think, but... I... I was wolf... Wasn't I? Moro was wolf, my brother was wolf, my sister was wolf... So I was wolf... I had to be... Right? "I... don't... understand.."

"San, you are a human girl who was raised by wolves. Being raised by wolves means you were raised believing you were a wolf."

No.. He was lying! Moro was my mother! My only mother!! "No!"

"San... San, listen to me." He reached out to touch me, and I instantly yanked back.

"No! I am not human!! I am wolf!!" I suddenly felt trapped, like... Like the sky was falling, sofacating me... He grabbed my wrists and pulled me close to him. Our faces only inches apart.

"San. Listen, please..." I didn't look at him, and he suddenly gripped both of my wrists in one hand and held my chin to force me to look directly at him. "I wouldn't lie to you. I care about you. I wouldn't put you through this if I didn't feel it was for your own good."

I felt hot tears flood my eyes, blurring my eyesight. Was he right?

"San, I know you can sense it. Your clan grows wilder with each minute. Soon you'll be forgotten to them."

".." He was right, I did sense it. I did hear it, I already knew it... What could I do about it though? I asked him this.

"Try to be a little human."


"San, without the support of the spirits, you'll die out here. Trust me, please.." I could hear the concern in his voice, I could smell the worry... He was right... I had no choice.

"But... I.. I'll never be the right kind of girl. No one will like me, I'll die as a human too. It doesn't matter..."

"San, listen..."

"No one needs me, I may as well die out here. With the things I know and hold dear."

"I need you, San."

I looked at him indecredously, "You? Need me?"

"Yes... I... I love you." I swallowed slowly, was this it? Was this what I had been looking for? Was love what had made me feel so incomplete?

"But... How could you love a... wolf girl? I killed people..."

"As did I. And for the first question, I don't care who you are, what you are, what you believe... If you don't start coming with me to the town, I'll just have to stay out here with you."

"But, that's such a change for me.."

"We can take it slowly, like tonight I'll stay here with you. Tomorrow morning when no one else is awake we'll walk around in the town and get you slowly used to it. I don't care how long it takes. So long as I'm with you, San." He leaned over and caught my lips with his, in what humans called a kiss, I think. I kissed him back, ad then I pulled away, thinking how this would work on me.

"If it doesn't work for you, San, I'll stay out here with you. Just try, please..." I nodded. I'd try for this... This feeling.. This love... My love..

My first Princess Mononoke fic! Yay! I know there's not many fics here, thus resulting in not many readers. Please since you read this, review so I don't feel like I wrote this for nothing.