A/N: Decided there needed to be more fanfics on here, so I wrote one. It's kinda like the Alice in the Wonderland chapter in the cannon, but different. I posted it at the For Richer or Poorer Message boards, so check it out there!
Yay! Spread the Ouran love! So, um, without further ado, Sleeping Haruhi/Beauty
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Ouran High School Host Club. Bisco Hatori owns the rights and stuff to them.
It was a lazy, laid-back, warm May afternoon. The sun was shinning, the birds were chirping, and a soft May breeze was carrying in the scent of the cherry blossoms from the open window. Tamaki Suoh, of class 2-A, also known as the King of the Ouran High School Host Club, was lounging about luxuriously in the warm, beautiful spring weather inside the Music Room 3…
Well, okay, he was sleeping.
"Milord snores so loud," the twins Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin announced a rather too loud of a voice for talking in a room with a person sleeping. But fortunately (or unfortunately, depending how you look at it), Milord still slept – and snored – on.
"Aww, don't you think Tamaki has had a rather rough day today?" said Mitsukuni (Hunny), sitting at his bunny table eating cake. "After all, it takes a lot to be a host club president!"
"We obviously don't think so," the twins said.
"After all," Kaoru noted. "All we really had to do -"
"-was pick out what costumes to wear tomorrow for the guests." Hikaru finished.
"So he has no reason to fall asleep now," the twins concluded in unison.
"I know!" Hikaru rubbed his hands together fiendishly. "Let's dress Haruhi up in a dress while milord snores away!"
"Ah yes!" his twin agreed. "And we can torture him about missing it take place when he finally wakes up."
"What?" Haruhi Fujioka, the topic of their conversation, turned around and looked at them confused. She saw the gleeful looks on the twins' faces, and the dress (where did that come from, you ask? From Tamaki's private stash of clothes) in their hands. "Nooo! I have to go shopping form the market!"
The twins chased her around, but it was futile.
Now what was going on in milord's head while all of this took place? Quite simple, it was a dream … ((Tamaki: "Huh? What? Oh, it's my cue!"))
The Story of Sleeping Haruhi (Which is Ironic Because Milord Was the One Who Was Asleep and…)
Tamaki: Too long of a title! Off to the story!
Once upon a time (because all good stories start off with that), there was a king and a queen ((pop in Hunny and a cross-dressed Mori)) who lived in a very happy kingdom. ((kingdom people: "Yayyy!")). They lived contented, but the king and queen were sad. Why? Because they couldn't have a child. ((NOW DON'T GET ANY DIRTY THOUGHTS YOU PEOPLE! THIS IS A PG STORY! Audience: YOU'RE the one who brought it up. Me: Oh right.))
One day, they were blessed with a beautiful baby girl -
((LIKE I SAID, NO NASTY-!
audience: GET ON WITH IT!))
- and they named her Haruhi.
They kingdom was over bound with joy. In order to celebrate their happiness, the parents threw a party, and invited all the members of the kingdom – well, all except one…
"Isn't this a joyous occasion, my wife?" King Hunny said to his beloved.
"…" she replied.
"Glad you think so! " the king smiled. "But my dear, did you invite everyone like I asked you to?"
"…" she answered.
The king was about to make his reply, when all of a sudden the windows where thrown open, and entered two fairies who looked almost exactly alike, except one was wearing a blue dress with wings, and the other a flamingo-pink dress with wings.
"What are we doing, cross-dressing again, Fairy Hikaru?" asked one of the two fairies.
"I don't know, Fairy Kaoru," replied the other. "But I guess that's part of the story."
They both turned to the slightly worried king and queen. "We have come to bring gifts to the lovely princess Haruhi."
The baby princess seemed to know what was about to happen, and started crying.
"Fret not!" said Fairy Hikaru. "I give the princess the gift of knowledge! She will be the smartest girl in the land!"
"And I," bowed the Fairy Kaoru. "Give the princess Haruhi the gift of beauty – she will also be the most beautiful girl in the land."
((Good qualifications to enter a beauty pageant, ni?))
"Why thank you, Fairies Hikaru and Kaoru," bowed the king in gratitude. "We are most obl-"
But before King Hunny could finish his speech, a great shadow befell upon the castle, and the people gasped, afraid. There was a sinister chuckle, and all of a sudden, there came forward a cloaked man, with a strange-looking puppet on his left hand.
"Hey, what's with the dimming of the lights?" Fairy Kaoru protested.
"The Lord Man-Fairy Umehito Nekozawa does not like bright lights," explained the executive prime minister, Kyoya Ohtori. "It was done simply by request."
"Muhahaha…" chuckled his Lord Fairy-ness. ((audience: somehow that sounds wrong…)) "Lovely party you have here, you're majesties."
"Glad you could make it, Nekozawa," the king replied cheerfully. "Would you like some -"
"Especially for the INVITED!" barked the Fairy.
The king turned fretfully to his queen. "Did you make sure to invite Nekozawa?" he asked.
Queen Mori gave a short nod.
"Of course I was invited!" barked Nekozawa. "But Bereznoff WASN'T!" Affronted Nekozawa shoved his beloved puppet in front of the king's face.
blub-blub Tears started to well up in the king's eyes. "I'm sorry, dear Fairy!"
"TO LATE!" he cut off. His face grew into a gleeful smile. "I too have a present for the princess."
The princess Haruhi started to cry once again, as her mother tried to shush her.
"When the princess turns FIFTEEN -"
"You mean sixteen," the twin fairies replied, bored.
"SIXTEEN, she will prick her finger on the ear of a Bereznoff, and DIE! Muhahaha," and with that, he disappeared and the lights went back on.
"Oh no!" King Hunny said in a panic. "What will we do?"
"I still have to give my gift to the princess, your Highness," bowed Sir Kyoya, putting his clipboard away.
Haruhi sighed just gave up. There was no way to escape the gift-giving
"When the princess turns fifteen."
"-sixteen, she won't die, but rather fall asleep for a hundred years and a handsome lord will come and save her."
The king smiled gratefully, but Sir Kyoya had not finished.
"Meanwhile, our kingdom shall profit with the sales of tourism."
"T-tourism?" they all looked at the prime minister.
"Yes," he smiled. "Tourism for seeing the one and only Sleeping Beauty."
Everyone stared at him, with worried sweat drops.
True to his premonition, before the Princess had reached age sixteen, many people came to the kingdom to see this all time rare, one-of-a-kind girl who would prick her finger on the ear of a Bereznoff and fall asleep for one hundred years.
((Tamaki: WAHH! When do I come in to the story?
Me: snort You should know, Tamaki, it's YOUR dream. But as I am the writer, I can say that it's coming up.
Tamaki: eyes shinning Thank you!))
So things came to pass. Haruhi reached her sixteenth birthday, pricked her finger, and fell asleep. For a hundred years the kingdom lay in wait for the sleeping princess to be awaken by her handsome prince.
((Tamaki: Now I can come in?
Me: sigh Sure, now you can come in.))
So, a hundred years later, by then the tale of the sleeping princess had spread throughout many lands. One day a handsome ((Tamaki: She said HANDSOME!)) prince caught word of this tale, and decided, "What? A beautiful sleeping princess, with no one to rescue her? She must be saved! I must, after all, the role of a person as wonderful and as handsome as me should do the job. For beauty is – AHHH!"
At that moment of Prince Tamaki's er, magnificent speech, he was pounced on by two fairies.
"UWAHH! What are you two doing here?" yelled the enraged prince.
"We are here to help you, milord," the bowed.
Prince Tamaki dusted himself off, and said, "Help me? Indeed, to save the poor princess, why yes!"
"Here, take this shield," Fairy Kaoru tossed it to Tamaki.
"Oof!" Prince Tamaki just barely managed to catch the two-ton shield.
"And this sword," Hikaru threw.
"Ayyah!" the prince managed to not get his head chopped off as the sword landed on the ground by his feet.
"Well, our job is done."
"What, just like that?" the baffled Prince Tamaki asked, still trying to pick up the shield, and tie the sword to his belt.
"Yup, see ya."
"Wait!" It was too late however, the twin Fairies had left.
"Alas, I'm on my own then," thought Prince Tamaki, and was about to mount on his valiant white steed (who was ironically called Beary) when he was nearly run over by another horse.
"Yaaaaa!" milord Tamaki jumped out of the way just in time: it just wasn't his day today."Watch where thou art going!" He shouted at the reckless driver.
The driver stopped his horse and turned around –
- And started rushing towards the prince.
Fortunately he stopped just centimeters away from the now cowering regal. His Highness managed to peer up at the figure staring down at him.
"Milady," he rose swiftly, and gave a gallant bow the beautiful figure mounted on the horse.
Only to be greeted with a blow from a blunt lance.
"I am not a LADY!" said the person, insulted, as Prince Tamaki nursed his poor head.
I am the Earl Ranka Fujioka, a distant uncle of the princess."
"Wh-why are you -" the prince rubbed his head and asked him.
"YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE WAY I LOOK?" Ranka snarled at the prince, who yelped.
He's a cross-dresser, Tamaki thought and looked up anxiously at her – I mean, him.
"Besides," the earl flipped his long hair back. "I'm going to save the princess Haruhi – in fact, I was on my way there before YOU got in front of my path."
"Ah! Why my good earl," milord bowed, forgetting the earl's trespasses against him. "I was about to go save the princess myself? Perhaps," he extended his hand. "Then we can work together to -"
Earl Ranka smacked his hand away, and Prince Tamaki huddled and went to nurse his poor hand by the shade of the tall tree. "No way! I'll be the one who saves Princess Haruhi, not you!"
And with that, the earl took off, and rode quickly away.
By then Tamaki had fully recovered, and clenched his fist, determined. "I must be the first one who saves the princess!"
He swiftly mounted his horse, Beary, and rode off, close behind the Earl Fujioka. It was a close race, and it was not long before the two of them reached the enchanted castle.
The castle was covered in weeds and brambles, and vines with vicious-looking thorns.
"Ah!" panted the prince as they raced to the entrance. "The princess is said to be the highest room in the tallest tower of the castle…"
"I KNOW that!" the earl shot our prince a hostile look.
So they quickly scrambled to draw out their swords and start hacking through the vines.
Aha! thought the prince, drawing out his sword. I have the upper-hand, as the sword I have is gift from the fairies.
But when he pulled it out of the sheath, much to his shock, it was a sword made of out wood.
((The fairies in the corner snickering))
Damn you, fairies! thought the prince ungenerously. The earl had already made it to the castle door.
Tamaki ran after him, but as soon as Ranka opened the door, her long tresses where nearly charred by the breath of a dragon.
"Yaaaa!" he jumped out of the way, and put Tamaki in between himself and the evil-looking dragon.
Just as the dragon took a deep breath to exhale another one of his fiery blasts, Tamaki pulled out his shield. Aha! Now we'll be saved! thought the prince (wrong again). The shield broke down into pieces just as he held it up.
"DAMNIT!" he threw down the last remaining piece of the shield that was left in is hand. "The stupid twin fairies and their stupid help!"
"Twin fairies, you said?" growled the dragon. "Those two bumbling idiots?" ((Twins: "Hey!")) He snorted, catching the prince's cloak on fire. ((Tamaki in the background smoldering the flames on his cloak with his feet))
"They're the ones who gave me the 'gift' to breathe fire," the dragon shook his head sadly. "And see where it's gotten me? I can't get hired any where because I'm what they consider a 'fire hazard' – department regulations, you know. The only job I could get was one they found for me: to guard some sort of sleeping princess."
Tears flowed down the eyes of our hero as he listened to this sad, sad tale. "You poor, poor dragon!" he sobbed. "Don't worry, I'll save you! As soon as I'm done with the princess, I'll -"
Tamaki turned around and realized that the earl wasn't there. "Blast it! Dragon," he turned around one last time. "I'll save you, but first I must save the sleeping princess -"
"Are you talking about me?"
The prince turned around and was faced with the most beautiful princess he ever laid eyes on.
"Princess Haruhi," he knelt down and kissed the princess's hand. But then he realized; "Oh no! I'm too late! The Earl Ranka Fujioka got to her before me! BUT I WAS THE HERO OF THIS STORY!" he started bursting into sobs.
Haruhi shook her head. "The earl, my uncle, is over there in my closet trying on some of the royal dresses" ((arrow pointing, saying: SIDE-TRACKED)) "I saved myself; after all the fairies did make me clever," she shrugged. ((Twin fairies: "I told you we were good for something."))
The prince Tamaki didn't know whether to cry tears of joy or tears of frustration.
Before he could decide however, the earth started shaking. "What's happening!" he cried in panic.
"Milord!" he heard twin voices call out.
"Wha-what? What happen?" Tamaki, president of the Ouran High School Host Club rubbed his bleary eyes.
"Milord was thrashing about in his sleep," the twins shrugged.
"What time is it?" he saw the sun starting to fade. He glanced at the clock on the wall in the Music Room – it was almost after four o'clock.
"We were going to leave you here, but Kyoya said we should stay and wake you up," they said.
Thanks, Mom, thought Tamaki gratefully.
"Of course he also said that you now owe him a week's worth of favors," the twins added.
"Ahh! What!" he turned around to look for Kyoya's face, but saw that they were alone in the room. Everyone had gone home except for him and the twins.
"Well, now that we did our job, let's go now, right, Kaoru?" Hikaru said.
"Of course, Hikaru," his brother nodded.
"This is all sounding strangely familiar," Tamaki mused aloud.
"Oh, by the way, milord, we've now got pictures of Haruhi in a dress," the announced aloud, and winked, before dashing out the door.
"What! No!" thought the president sadly, now all alone in the Music Room. "I MUST SEE THESE PICTURES!" First not saving the princess Haruhi in his dream, and then missing out on the pictures: it just wasn't Tamaki's day at all.
"What pictures?" he heard sweet a voice by him. Tamaki screamed and jumped a mile, and then turned around and grabbed Haruhi by the shoulders. "THEY TOOK PICTURES? THEY TOOK PICTURES OF MY DAUGHTER WITHOUT ME HERE TO SUPERVISE! I MUST SEE THESE PICTURES, HARUHI!"
Haruhi looked annoyed, "What pictures? Oh," she recalled. "Yes, Hikaru and Kaoru tried get me into a dress for a picture of me but they didn't get to," she smiled, making Tamaki blush. He dropped his hands from Haruhi's shoulders and looked away.
"I forgot to get my keys," she explained. "I left them here, and came back to get them."
She walked up to the table and picked up the keys lying there.
"Haruhi," Tamaki asked, not looking at her but at the couch.
"Mm?" she looked up.
"Do you think it's wrong for a prince to save a princess when she's in trouble?" he asked pensively.
"Huh? Oh," Haruhi looked down and thought. "Well, it's not always possible, but I think it's a nice idea to want to help save someone you really, really care about," she smiled at the idea.
Tamaki went red again, so – so –c cute! But he managed to act normal enough and said, "Okay, let's get out of here. We should go before they close the school gates."
"Alright," Haruhi smiled, and they left the Music Room together.