"I'm having a really bad night. I just don't want to be alone." Tears glistened in Lorelai's eyes. Christopher moved aside to let her in. She walked past him towards the living room.
Chris stood frozen by the door for a few seconds, not sure what to think, how to act. He knew Rory was fine; if something had happened to her, Lorelai would surely be with her and not here. What else would she come to him for? What could she not talk to Luke about? And it suddenly hit him in a glorious, yet sickening way. Something had happened with Luke. He smirked glumly as he closed the door and tried to push back the feelings of guilt and self-hatred rumbling in his gut.
"Lor." he said softly as he walked into the living room where Lorelai sat slumped and motionless on his plush, upholstered chair. His grin was gone, replaced with a partially sincere look of concern. He loved Lorelai, as he always had, and didn't want her to be hurt so badly, but the thought that she had chosen him as the one she wanted to lessen the pain was a stroke to his ego…among other things. "Lor, what's the matter." he continued as he kneeled beside the chair and looked into her eyes, they were empty. God, I am such an asshole, he thought briefly as he tore his eyes away from the void in hers, how can this possibly be bringing me any sort of joy? And then he imagined holding Lorelai, imagined being the one to return the spark that had been lost from those watery blue eyes. And then he imagined kissing her, undressing her, making love to her. He quickly stood up before she had a chance to read him. "Can I get you anything? Water? Tequila?"
Lorelai nodded her head in response to the offer but she didn't speak, what would she say? Would she tell Christopher what happened? She wasn't entirely sure what had happened. She didn't want to think about it. She tried not to think about anything as she watched Chris walk to the wet bar, unlock the cabinet, and take out the bottle of Jose Cuervo. Chris would take care of her. He would make the pain go away. Lorelai tried hard not to think about Luke as she watched Chris grab a couple of shot glasses and make his way back to her.
"Here you go." He set the shot glasses on the table and filled them. He handed one to Lorelai and sat down on the love seat that sat perpendicular to her chair. As he reached his hand out to grab the remaining shot, Lorelai picked it up instead and replaced it with her own empty glass. "Hey there Hemingway," he said as lightly as he could, "I'm all for using alcohol as a coping method but try to take it a little easy." he gave a small, transient grin.
"I'm sorry," she told him, even though she wasn't.
"Sorry for what?" He cocked his head with interest at finally hearing her speak.
"You shouldn't have to take care of me like this, like you did after Lane's wedding." But she knew he would and she wanted him to. She wanted him to comfort her and show her the love that Luke hadn't shown at the diner earlier that night. Chris could love her and he would never break her heart like Luke had. Chris had failed her a lot in her life but he'd never break her heart, his grip was only strong enough for a little bruising.
"Taking care of you isn't a job Lor, besides I owe you for taking care of my kid the last 22 years." He said slightly jokingly. "Now tell me what's wrong." he added softly and pleadingly.
For a long time she did not answer him. They sat in silence- awkward, uneasy, silence. And yet there was a strange comfort in it that eventually led Lorelai to speak. "It's over." She said flatly.
"What's over? A fight? So you'll make up, you'll put it behind you. It'll be OK."
"No, not a fight. All of it. It's all over. I screwed up, he screwed up. It just all got so screwed up." she sobbed, the tears leaving her eyes and rolling down her cheeks for the first time since she'd gotten there.
"He? Luke? Did you and Luke…break-up?" he asked tentatively as though he had just figured it out.
She looked up at him sadly to confirm without words. She poured herself another shot before continuing. "I asked him to marry me. He said he wanted to marry me. And then there was April and I tried to be patient but he shut me out. He said he wanted to wait and I tried to wait but I couldn't do it anymore. He wanted to wait and I didn't want to wait and I wanted be a part of his life but he wasn't ready to let me and everything was so tense and I wasn't happy and I tried to pretend like I was happy but I couldn't pretend anymore." She was frantic by the end and Chris almost couldn't understand her but he understood the look in her eyes and the look said her and Luke were broken beyond repair. He was happy and he hated himself for it, but only for a moment.
Chris slid off the sofa and knelt in front of Lorelai. He looked directly into her eyes. "It'll be OK. If you love each other, you'll work it out." but he secretly prayed he was wrong. He knew he was being an asshole; he knew he should try to be a better man, but this was Lorelai and he wanted her so badly that he didn't care.
"No, we won't." Lorelai told him as she looked back into his eyes. At that moment she allowed herself to fully realize the reason she had come to Chris in the first place. This would put an end to everything. Luke would never forgive her and she didn't want him to. He had denied her, refused to elope with her and if she couldn't start a new life with him, she would start a new life without him. Either way, it was time to move on with her life. Besides, a little bit of comfort, and a moment of pleasure were two things she could use right now.
She rested her hands on his shoulders and leaned forward until their foreheads touched. She paused there, feeling his breath growing shorter and shallower and she knew he wanted her. After a few moments had passed she brought her lips down to his and kissed him passionately. He placed his right hand against the seat next to her and used it to push himself up to meet her. He positioned his other hand on her hip, needing to feel her, to know it was true. He could taste the tears on her lips and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about it but he didn't stop.
The kiss lingered for several seconds before he finally pulled away. "We shouldn't Lor." he protested mostly as formality, though he would respect any decision she made despite his growing excitement.
"Yes we should." she assured him.
"But you and…" he began again, just to give her one more chance to back out.
"We're over. I can't wait for him anymore; I need to be happy again." she told him and herself.
"I'm glad to help." he told her. He was almost glowing on the inside and this time he let himself enjoy the feeling guilt-free. He took her hand in his as he stood up. She followed suit and he led her to the bedroom.