Lorelai sat in her Jeep outside the diner, parked far enough away that Luke couldn't see her through the window. She closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. Fingering the piece of paper on the seat next to her she opened her eyes and unfolded the piece of loose leaf.
I waited for you but you didn't come home.
Please talk to me.
I love you.
The note was short but to Lorelai it said a thousand things. His handwriting was shaky and uncertain, as though he wasn't sure he wanted to talk at all; as though he knew where a talk would lead; as though he knew where she had been last night; as though he knew it were over but he wouldn't let himself believe it. The words "I love you" were bigger and set apart from the rest of the note and Lorelai could almost feel the words pleading with her.
Lorelai sighed, thinking of what she had to do. She had to let him go. She didn't want to but she couldn't stay in a relationship that was moving backwards instead of forwards. It was as though everyday her wedding got farther and farther away. She took one more second to gather her courage before stepping out of the car.
Luke stood behind the counter pretending to work. The truth was, Caesar was doing all of the cooking and Lane was serving all the customers. Luke would occasionally wake from his daze long enough to fill a cup of coffee, then he'd go back to mindlessly fidgeting with the damp rag he used to wipe the counters.
The bell above the door rang as someone entered the diner. Luke's head shot up as it had every time the door had opened all morning. He had almost given up on seeing Lorelai standing there but as he let his eyes focus on the person standing in the threshold he realized it was her.
After a few seconds he released the breath he had been holding in. Lorelai walked slowly to the counter. He could see the sadness in her eyes and he tried to interpret it- was she still upset about the wedding or was she upset about the fight? Or was it something else entirely, something he wouldn't let himself consider?
When she finally reached him, they both just stood there silently, not sure how to begin. After a few awkward moments Luke finally began to feel all the eyes in the diner staring, burning with curiosity. Desperate to leave the prying eyes behind, he made the first move. "We should…umm..." he nodded his head in the direction of the stairs to his apartment.
"Yeah," Lorelai agreed softly. "We should talk alone." She motioned her way around the counter and followed Luke into the back and up the stairs.
Lane watched them disappear. She really hoped they'd work it out. She had missed the fight but from what she'd heard it had been really bad. And Luke had looked so lost when he'd come in that morning. This was worse than when they'd broken up last year. He'd been sad then sure, but he'd emoted. He'd emoted so much people were scared to come to the dinner. But today he was showing no emotion at all. He just looked like a scared little child, and seeing a man like Luke looking like that way made Lane feel like a scared little child. She really hoped they'd work it out.
Each step sent a wave of nausea through Lorelai, starting at her feet and moving up to her throat. She didn't realize her feet could feel nauseous but they did. This would probably be the last time she walked these stairs.
Luke opened the door to his apartment and they both walked in. "Do you want some coffee…no, wait," he stumbled. "The coffee's downstairs. How about some water… or juice? I have juice." He rammbled on.
Lorelai opened her mouth to say she didn't need anything but she immediately felt how dry she'd already gone. "Water's fine."
Luke grabbed two bottles of water from his refrigerator and brought them over to the round table in the middle of the room. He sat and Lorelai did the same, this was definitely a sitting conversation.
"So…" Luke said. He didn't have anything to follow it but a "so" was usually a good way to start off a difficult conversation.
"Listen Luke," Lorelai began. "I'm sorry about last night."
Luke momentarily perked up. "It's OK, I'm…" Lorelai cut him off before he could get any further.
"I really just need to get this out, Luke. Please just listen first."
"Right," he nodded and sat back in his chair.
"I'm sorry about last night, about how it went down, but I need you to know that I don't take back anything I said." Lorelai could almost see the tiny bit of light still in Luke's eyes dim but she continued on anyway. "I swear I didn't want to make you choose. April's your daughter and she should be in your life. But I'm your fiancée and I should be in your life too."
"You are. Lorelai, you're in my life completely. I told you I was all in and I meant it."
"That's just it Luke. You were all in, past tense. Not anymore. You've shut me out. And everyday June 3 gets closer and closer and our wedding seems to get farther and farther."
"That's not true. I'm not shutting you out, I'm just trying to get to know my daughter," Luke argued.
"Right, your daughter. And if you were thinking about our wedding you'd realize that your daughter would become my step-daughter. If she's going to be a part of your life you then can't keep me out of her life, because if you do than you're keeping me out of your life."
"I don't want to keep you out of my life, Lorelai. I just need more time to figure it all out. You just have to give me a little more time," he pleaded.
"I'm all out of time Luke." Lorelai reached across the table and took Luke's hand in hers'. "I don't have any more time left to give you." She told him sadly. She pulled her hand away and stood up from the table. "I'm sorry."
Luke opened his hand and looked at the diamond in it, then up at the woman he loved. "So that's it? I don't have a say in this. You're just going to walk away from me, from us, from everything we have."
"I told you last night Luke, 'now or never.' You had your say. You said 'not now'."
"But I didn't say 'never.' I want to marry you Lorelai. I love you."
"You shouldn't," she told him.
"I don't really have a say in the matter."
"Well then let me have my say…" she paused for a moment preparing herself for the next words that would leave her mouth. "I slept with Christopher last night."
AN- I know I'm evil, guess you'll just have to wait to find out Luke's response. In the mean time you KNOW you want to leave a review...I'm a feedback whore. ;)