Depending on people's reactions, this might become multiple chapters.
Disclaimer: Kyo isn't mine. Yet. You wait until the wedding… -shakes fist-
THIS STORY STARTS OFF NORMAL THEN GETS INSANE BY THE PARAGRAPH.
Thought I'd let ya'll know.
Kyo sat silently on the roof top, watching the clouds go by. How peaceful the clouds were, to him. They signified strength, hope and most of all…
"KYO! DINNER'S READY!"
…Serenity. Kyo jolted up and cursed Tohru for disrupting his thoughts. His serenity was broken, as he broke the border line between his sanctuary and his annoying housemates. He often felt like he was living in the reality TV show, "Big Brother", as he had absolutely no privacy what so ever. Not even the toilet was safe; Tohru, Yuki and Shigure had all shared the experience of barging in on the poor Mr. Kitty while he was taking a whiz. Not exactly a pretty sight, for them.
"What's for- I thought I made it perfectly clear, I HATE LEEKS!"
"It's not leeks, you idiot," Yuki sighed, flipping a piece of the offending green food over, "It's spinach. Surely, you've heard of Popeye"
"NO! Dammit, I'm not even hungry anymore!"
Kyo looked over a Tohru and let of a low growl before stalking into the hallway towards his bedroom. He walked in and slammed the door, leaving his housemates unaware that he had a plan. An evil plan. A significantly evil plan, at that.
He waltzed out of his room, a smug smirk on his face. He glared at Yuki and Shigure before running out the door and towards Yuki's retarded secret base.
"Ha," He said out loud, at the vegetables, "Prepare to perish… for I have…"
Yes. Kyo had found some deadly drugs under his bed, which he figured he might as well sprinkle on the veggies to kill them. Happy with the evil deed he had done, Kyo wiped his hands onto his trousers and stalked back to the house, in the night.
The very next day, Yuki went to the secret base with Tohru to pick some veggies when- GASP! They all seemed to be dead. Tohru started to panic, but Yuki didn't.
"Hey look!" He said, "Cocaine!"
Tohru peered at the white powder where they're vegetables had once been. Tohru realized that Yuki was right and made a loud, over reacted gasp in surprise.
"Who? Who did it, do you think?"
"WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?" Tohru said all to loudly.
"Because I hate him"
Tohru and Yuki stood still for a very long time. Yuki, because he was pondering how to prove it was Kyo, and Tohru, because she was pondering how to catch the plant killer.
Back at the house, Kyo wasn't feeling the slightest bit guilty of his deed. He actually felt quite happy he'd never have to see the drugs again. Oh wait, the plants! He was also quite happy he'd never have to eat veggies again.
"YOU!" Yuki hollered, slamming the door open and shut for extra emphasis on anger. Kyo turned around at put a very innocent look on his face.
"D-Did you kill… M-Miss Honda's plants… ugly, m-moron cat…?" Stuttered Yuki. That stupid look Kyo was giving him definitely was distracting him. Like, what the hell? Where'd he learn such a look? Shigure?
"Okay… I WILL PROVE YOU DID!" Yuki stated loudly, before stomping his feet for extra anger emphasis. Kyo clapped and turned back to the wall he was staring at.
Tohru, in the mean time, was ringing Haru to see if he and Momiji could come around and help her investigate the plant's deaths, as she believed every living thing deserved a proper burial and murder investigation. Stupid, stupid girl…
"Okay, I'll be over in 25 and a half minutes" Momiji said, because Haru couldn't come to the phone right now. Tohru nodded at the phone and hung up.
25 and three quarters of a minute later, they arrived. Tohru was crying.
"You're a quarter of a minute late!" She screamed, slapping the backs of Haru's and Momiji's hands. But they just laughed at her and got to work on the investigation. Of course, they had to drag Tohru to the scene of the crime because one, she was crying and two, they felt like touching her for no real reason.
Once at the scene of the crime, Haru gasped.
If I don't do something quick, they'll find out about me… me and Kyo! And what's been happening! Oh god, oh god!
"Is something wrong?" Momiji asked Haru, because he had a sixth sense of being able to know what people are thinking because of the looks on their faces. Haru shook his head no.
"I'm fine. Now Tohru, you say this stuff is Cocaine? Are you sure?"
"Yes. Yuki said"
"Okay. Lets just… I dunno… look around the house for some clues?"
So they went back to the house. Haru suggested they check the laundry.
"Hey, look! Kyo's trousers have the white stuff on them!"
"Your right Momiji!" Tohru exclaimed, "Lets question him"
In the lounge room, Kyo was sleeping. Cat napping, actually. Haru woke him up by pulling his hair. Then, Tohru started with the questions.
"You have Cocaine on your trousers" She said, "Why?"
"Because" He replied, rubbing his head, "I… I found some"
"Why was it on the veggies?"
"Haru put it there!" He accused, pointing.
"No I didn't. I only just got here"
Maybe I should just tell the truth, thought Kyo.
"Okay. Get Yuki and I'll tell you's all the truth"
They all went to get Yuki, except Haru. Haru stayed behind to talk to Kyo in private, because that's what he liked to do.
"Kyo, your not going to tell them about-"
"Haru. The jigs up. End of the line. I must"
Haru sniffed and nodded. Kyo was right. It was time.
When Yuki came down, Kyo and Haru looked solemn. Kyo explained it all, though, so Haru didn't have to become depressed.
"Haru's been… doing drugs, you see? So he hid the drugs under my bed. Yesterday, I didn't want leeks and I also wanted to pay back Yuki," He paused for emphasis, "So I sprinkled all Haru's Cocaine on the leeks and everything. So yeah. It was me"
Yuki, Tohru and Momiji were stunned. Why did Haru sink so low? Why did Kyo have his drugs, anyway? It was weird, but that story was they story they used. That's all they needed to know. So they went out for ice cream.
"Thanks for saving my ass, party" Haru said to Kyo, once they had left.
"Hey! That's what stupid, drug addicted friend slash cousins are for, right?"
Haru giggled, "Right"
I didn't even realize it turned out so weird. I just let my fingers run loose and this is what it came out as. How odd and unusual.
Hmm… review, if you want cheese. Cheddar cheese.