A/N: wow…has it really been 8 mouths since I last updated? I have no excuse for that. Things just came up. But well what can you do. I really hope you enjoy this chapter. It did take 8 months to write after all –snicker-
Disclaimer: Don't own.
It's finally here, the day I've been both dreading and anticipating, my birthday. Funny really, a few months ago I would have been ecstatic, but now…it's different, I'm an adult in the eyes of the law. It's weird how a few events can completely change a person's view on things.
I've been thinking about this day for a very long time now, and I'd decided that once I turned 18 I'll get my inheritance and move out. I've not told Sirius, knowing him he'd insist I stay, but I can't pester him any longer. I'll either move out and get my own place or go to a university and become a teacher. It's that simple…well sort of. I never really finished my last year of school, so I guess I'll have to go back first, then university.
Ok new plan: First I'll get my inheritance, and then I'll tell Sirius that I'm moving out as soon as possible. I know it'll hurt him be we can still have a relationship…I hope. Well then I'll get a flat and finish school. After school, University to become a teacher! See it'll all work out. Positive thinking Lupin, you've always been an optimistic person.
Who am I kidding I'll never pull it off! Sirius is too protective, he won't let me leave. Another year of school won't be all that great either. And since when has attending a university been cheap?
I roll over in bed to stare at the ceiling. Last night I'd decided to sleep in my room instead of with Sirius. I feared that if I slept with him again I might not go through with my plans. Sighing I sit up and get out of bed. I pick up my watch from the desk, half past six. Well at least Sirius won't be awake and I can easily shower and get ready without waiting for him to fix his hair and whatever else he does. I swear sometimes I think he's higher maintenance than any girl could be.
As I showered my mind kept buzzing with thought, but I didn't really accomplish anything. I step out of the bathroom, a towel around my waist, and head to my room to change. I thought Sirius was still asleep so I didn't bother to lock my bedroom door, you could imagine what a scare I got when I felt two arms wrap around me from behind.
"Holy shit Sirius!" I slap his arm playfully and he chuckles before kissing my neck. "You scared the life out of me! I thought you were asleep."
"Can't I give my boyfriend a birthday hug?" he responds cheerfully. Boyfriend it still feels weird when he calls me that…but I like it.
"You can give me a hug after I've dressed." I pull away from him and start rummaging through my clothes, eventually finding a plain white shirt and jeans. I clear my throat; Sirius is still standing by the door staring at me with his gorgeous grey eyes. "A little privacy Siri."
"Oh, of course." He turns around, his back to me and I laugh before throwing a pillow at him.
"Ok let me rephrase that. Get out Sirius." He turns around to give me the cutest little puppy dog face before walking out of the door closing it behind him. I dress quickly running a brush through my hair before heading to the kitchen to find Sirius already cooking what appears to be beacon. I walk over to him and he smiles before kissing my cheek.
"Hungry?" He offers flipping over the frying beacon; I nod before moving around him to get plates out.
Breakfast was fine, I listened as Sirius talked about his job and what not, but was startled when he asked me where I wanted to go today.
"Um, I don't know." I shrug taking a bite of my toast and Sirius stares unblinking at me. "I was hoping you'd be able to take me to get my inheritance…" I mentally curse as I hear my voice shake at the last bit.
"Oh…yeah, of course I can." His expression is unreadable, his voice bland. I instinctively stiffen. "Anything else? It is your birthday after all." He seems a little more cheerful when saying this, so I ease up.
"I don't know," I smile and take a sip of my orange juice. "Surprise me…"
Twenty minutes later I find myself fearing for my life, speeding down some road on Sirius' motorbike. I tighten my death grip on Sirius and try once more to convince Sirius to let me off.
"Sirius please!" I beg. He laughs at my plea and speeds up. Eventually, Sirius comes to a slow stop. He turns off his bike and removes his helmet before turning back to me with a silly grin.
My first instinct is to get off the death machine and beat the living crap out of Sirius, but when I take off my helmet and look around I'm rendered speechless. We were at what looked to be a small pond; there were trees and ducks on the water. It was quite and completely absent of any other people.
My thoughts of causing Sirius bodily harm were swept away and I stared at the scene before me. I smiled and turned to Sirius who had just finished putting the helmets away. He smiled back and moved toward me to wrap his arms around me from behind.
"Do you like the surprise?" He whispers into my ear. I nod and move closer into his embrace.
The time we spent at the pond was very sweet and almost innocent. There was no one to watch us, no one to judge us as we sat and talked, cuddling together. I felt very at ease there, surrounded by Sirius, I felt safe. But I still had a nagging in the back of my head that wouldn't allow me to feel completely comfortable. If Sirius felt it, he said nothing about it. I did care deeply for Sirius, more than I've cared for anyone, but I couldn't burden him any longer and I just hoped that he would understand.
So with a sad smile I looked into his eyes as we sat by the pond and whispered. "Sirius?" He smiled and kissed the crown of my head to let me know he was listening. "You know I care about you…right?" His eyebrows knitted together in confusion for a second.
"Of course Rem…why would you ask something like that?" I shift a little before laying my head back on his chest.
"No reason…" I murmur before twining our fingers together. I sensed that Sirius was still very puzzled but once again he remained silent.
I'm not sure how long we stayed by the pond, maybe thirty minutes maybe three hours. But at some point Sirius had looked down at me and asked if I wanted to leave. I didn't really care either way. Sirius smiled nervously. I don't know why he'd be nervous. Put I didn't have much to time to ponder his abnormal behavior because he was standing and offering me a hand. I took it and followed him to his death machine. This time Sirius went much slower, I was very thank full.
The next stop was the one I'd been thinking about for the last couple of weeks. I didn't know where I was supposed to pick up my inheritance, but apparently Sirius did because in a few minutes we were standing in front of his huge ten story building. There were no signs anywhere, nothing to indicate what the name of the place was or anything. Sirius moved to the front of the building and pulled on the door handle. He must have realized I wasn't following and turning around smiling reassuringly at me, offering his hand to me once more. I shyly took it and followed him in the building.
It was quiet and air conditioned inside, a petite woman was sitting in the front desk, her head bent down over some paper work. She looked up when we approached and greeted us with a smile.
"Hello how may I help you?" She asked flashing us two rows of perfect straight teeth. I didn't really pay attention to their small conversation because I felt kind of nauseous and was trying to keep my breakfast down. So instead I concentrated on the rather large fish tank on the other side of the room. I looked up when I heard Sirius say my name.
"Come on, we have to go to the ninth floor." He said tugging at my hand towards the elevators. We rode the elevators to the ninth floor where we were met by another secretary; she too smiled and asked us if we needed assistance.
"Yes I was told that we needed to speak with a Mr. Flores about an inheritance." I never knew Sirius could sound so…well serious (no pun intended) he was always so goofy and weird around me.
"Oh yes, Mr. Flores is in a meeting right now but if you care to wait it should be over in about twenty minutes." She responded after typing something on the computer. "Can I get your name in the mean time sir?" She asked typing some more on her computer.
"Lupin." The secretary continued to type furiously until finally she looked up and smiled.
"Mr. Remus Lupin?" She looked questioningly to Sirius but he shook his head and pushed me forward. "Oh, hello dear." She smiled and tilted her head to the side. "Happy birthday." She typed something still looking at me. I smiled timidly back at her.
"Well ok sweetie I have a made an appointment for you after he finishes the meeting he's in right now. You may have a seat until then."
"Thank you." Replies Sirius politely and pushes me toward the waiting area…place…thing.
It was a very long twenty minutes, I'll tell you that much. But when I saw several men dressed in business suits exit through double doors to the left of the secretaries' desk I grew nervous again. The men left and a couple of minutes later I heard a male voice come from the secretaries' desk.
"Send the next one in Ms. Reiss." It said calmly. I heard a buzz as the secretary pushed a button on her desk.
"You may go in." She smiled and we got up and went to the door. Sirius opened it letting me enter before him. The office was even bigger than the waiting room; it was well decorated but still seemed too empty. In the middle of the room was a long conference table and standing right in front of it was a tall man in a black suit and blue striped tie.
With a friendly smile the man extended his hand to greet us. "Hello, I'm Mr. Flores, pleasure to meet you."
Sirius took his hand first and nodded. "Sirius Black." He said simply.
"So you must be Mr. Lupin." Flores said cheerfully before taking my hand and giving a firm hand shake which I returned. "Please, have a seat gentlemen." I took my seat next Sirius.
Once we were all seated and 'comfortable' Mr. Flores magically made a yellow folder appear out of no where. "I have here Mr. and Mrs. Lupin's will." He said waving around said will. "I've looked through it, your parents wanted some of their money to go to certain relatives and what not but most of it was left to you and your sister." At this he paused and coughed softly. "Seeing the circumstances I do believe that it now all belongs to you." I nod grimly and look down at my hands. He coughs again. "I also have another will in front of me…your aunt and uncles'." I looked up in shock, not expecting that one bit. "You are their only living relative and-" but I cut him off before he finished.
"What do they have to do with anything?" I was confused and a little angry. Mr. Flores looked taken aback.
"Well your aunt and uncles have passed on…" He looked as confused as I felt at the moment. "Didn't you know?"
I looked to Sirius, but he was looking straight ahead expression once again unreadable. "No," I said quietly. "I didn't."
"Yes well, seeing as how you're their only living relative you inherit what they left behind." He continued shuffling through papers.
"I don't want it." I say sternly. "I want nothing to do with them."
"I'm sorry Mr. Lupin I know this must be hard for you-" But I wouldn't hear it.
"I don't care, give it to charity, I don't what it." Anger was bubbling within me, getting ready to explode. Sirius must have sensed this because he put his hand on my thigh and grabbed onto it as if expecting me to jump from me seat and pummel the man in front of me. His grip firm, telling me, warning me to keep my calm.
"If that's what you want, I can arrange it." Replied Mr. Flores still shuffling through papers. "Now that we're on the subject, what would you care to do with the rest of the money?" I opened my mouth to reply but suddenly remembered that Sirius was still in the room, watching me. I coughed and Mr. Flores must have gotten the hint. "Mr. Black, if you would please wait out in the waiting room while Mr. Lupin and I discuss this it would be greatly appreciated." Sirius looked like he was about to argue but I touched his arm and looked at him, silently telling him to go, that his presence was not needed, I would be fine without him. Sirius clenched his jaw and left the room without a word.
I take a deep breath and turn to the only other person in the room now. He smiled to me again and opened up another folder. How many of those things did he have? "So, what do you wish to do?"
"I want to go back to school." It was the first thing that came to mind. The man smiled taking out a single sheet of paper from the folder. He nodded for me to continue. "And I'd like to attend a University; I want to be a teacher." Once again he suddenly had a pad and pen in his hands scribbling down everything I said.
"Have you given thought to which school you'd like to attend?" He asked still writing on the pad of paper.
"No, I haven't." I muttered biting my lip.
"Where will you be living?" He asked finally looking up from his writing and raised an eyebrow at me. "On campus perhaps?" I shrugged.
"I don't know." He nodded as if he understood and scribbled some more. "I want to move out of where I am right now." I blurt out as an after thought. "into a small flat or something."
"Where are you living now? I foster home?"
"No," this gets his attention and he stops writing. "I'm living with Sirius right now." I bite my lip at the look he sends me. He looks curiously at me before picking up his pen again.
"Have you told him?" It was more of a rhetorical question. That's why I didn't want Sirius in the room, he knew this.
"No…" I shake my head. He sighs at and stops writing picking up another paper.
"We I guess we should get to work then shouldn't we?" He smiles at me, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
Nearly an hour later I immerge from the room followed by Mr. Flores. When Sirius saw me he jumped up from his seat looking relieved. I walk to him and hive him a small hug. It must have been very boring for him to sit out here for so long. "Sorry I took so long." I whisper into his ear as I pull away.
"It's ok." He whispers back with a smile. We both turn to look at Mr. Flores who's still waiting patiently for us.
"Well everything's all done." He smiles to Sirius. "It was a pleasure working with you Mr. Lupin." this of course was directed at me. I nod and shake his hand, Sirius does the same and Mr. Flores leaves, going back to his office.
"Alright Mr. Lupin." I hear Ms. Reiss say. "If you would please sign here," She pushes a clip board with some paper work on it towards me. "Then you are free to go." I walk over and sign where she pointed to. "Alright," she collects the clip board and smiles to us both. "We'll call you in a couple of days Mr. Lupin. Have a nice day."
"You too." We say in unison before heading towards the elevators. Once inside the elevator, it's deathly quiet and a little awkward.
"So…" Sirius breaks the silence. "Why couldn't I stay with you?" I knew the question was coming.
"I don't know." I shrug shifting from one foot to the other. "I guess Mr. Flores thought it was something personal and you should leave." Sirius didn't look entirely convinced. We reached the bottom floor and Sirius headed directly out of the building and to his motorbike. He got on and strapped on his helmet. For a split second I thought he was angry at me, but then I looked at his eyes. They looked worried, and there was a sadness in them that made me cringe. So I got on without complaint, holding on tightly to Sirius as we sped off.
The whole ride to Sirius' place I kept thinking of the look in his eyes. I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd caused that sadness. And to think, I still had to tell him I was leaving. Holding on tighter I shuddered and wondered how in the world I was going to break the news to him.
The instant Sirius turned off his bike he took off his helmet and turned to me and grabbed me by the chin, giving me a rough kiss. I pulled back surprised by his actions; he's always been so gentle with me.
"Sirius, what's wrong?" His eyes darted around, never looking at me.
"I feel something wrong between us, like you're keeping something from me. Last night you didn't even sleep in my bed." His eyes finally looked at me, they looked so hurt.
"That's because I have Siri." I mumble, my hands fidgeting. It was now or never. Sirius took my fidgeting hands into his and held them very tightly.
"What is it?" His voice cracked and I almost lost my nerve.
"I'm leaving." With that simple sentence I saw something break within Sirius.
"What do you mean you're leaving?" I watched as his eyes slowly welled up with tears that he tried to hide.
"I'm leaving here. I can't burden you any longer. I'm going back to school." I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. Sirius still held my hands in his.
"You can stay here and go to school Rem." I shook my head and turned my head away from him. "You don't burden me, I like your company." I still refuse to look at him. "I like coming home to your smiling face." I sniff involuntarily. Minutes tick by in silence. "Remus…" This time Sirius takes my chin and forces me to look at him. "Does this mean…you don't want a relationship anymore?" I must have taken too long in responding because before I knew it Sirius had let go of me and stormed toward his flat. I blinked in confusion.
I ran after him as he swore, fishing for his keys in his pocket. "Sirius!" I called after him.
"No, no it's ok Remus. I get it now." He yelled back. "I wish I could have seen it sooner."
"Seen what?!" I was perplexed at his actions. I felt tears run down my cheeks as I ran after him.
"This meant nothing to you. You used me…just like everyone before you." He hissed, starting the climb to his flat.
"That's not true!" I didn't bother to swipe the tears running down my face, blurring my vision.
"Right!" he laughed bitterly.
"Sirius I mean it! Please understand!" I screamed as he opened the door to his flat and stormed in. I followed a few steps behind. "Sirius, please I want this to work out!" To my utter horror when I entered the living room I was met by cheers and flashing cameras, balloons and lots of smiling happy faces.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMUS!" They all cheered happily. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. Lily and James stepped forward but when they noticed my state James backed away and turned to the crowd of people. Lily came closer to me and pulled my into a hug.
"What happened Remus?" She whispered lovingly into my ear.
"Sirius…" I choked out between sobs.
"Oh…he ran in and went straight into his room. I didn't give it a second thought because you came in." She hugged me closer to her. "Come on." She led me around the crowd of whispering and questioning people. She got to Sirius' bedroom and knocked loudly. "Sirius?" She said softly. We didn't get a response. "Sirius please open the door." Still nothing and I let another sob slip out. "Open the fucking door Sirius." Apparently Lily's patience was wearing thin. This time lots of shuffling was heard on the other side and it cracked open a little.
Lily turned to me and gently pushed me to the door. I wiped at my eyes before pushing the door open all of the way and stepping inside, I closed it behind me slowly. I looked up to find Sirius sitting on his bed; he'd taken off his shoes, his head was bent down, and every so often he'd shudder slightly, indicating to me that he was crying, silent tears, and it was my fault.
I went to sit down next to him, but he moved away. It nearly broke my heart when he flinched away from my touch as well.
"Sirius, I never meant to hurt you. You mean more to me than you could ever possibly understand." He remained still. "I know you don't like that I'm leaving, but I don't want you to have to support me any longer. It's not fair."
"I don't mind Rem…" It as the softest of whispers but I heard it as if it had been shouted.
"But I do!" I say placing my hand over his, this time he didn't more to push it away.
"Remus," His voice was back to its normal volume. "I make more than enough to support us both. You can stay here and still go to school. Please stay with me…"
"I'm not breaking up with you Sirius if that's what you think. I was hoping we could still be together." I squeezed his hand lightly.
"But I've grown so use to coming home and having you here." He finally looked up, and when I saw his red swollen eyes I really wished he hadn't. "Remus, this place is too big for one person, please stay. I can take care of you. I'll keep you safe." He moved one of his hands to cup my cheek; I leaned into the gentle caress.
"Sirius, I'm not a child." I shifted closer to him.
"I know you're not…" He said with a smirk. I smiled at this. Even in the most serious of conversations he still manages to throw in a couple of innuendos. "But I still want you to stay here; it would be a lot cheaper if you did." I was about to protest once more but he cut me off. "And if you insist, you can get a part time job and pay rent." He rolled his eyes at this and I sighed at his stubbornness. "I just want you to stay with me." He brought my hand up to his face and kissed each knuckle. I thought over everything he's just told me, and concluded that…Sirius was being very selfish…and that so was I.
"Ok." The light that came to Sirius' eyes sent jolts of electricity through my body. He smiled and leaned in to kiss me.
"Sirius," I began pulling away from him a little. "I have a 'surprise' party waiting for me…I don't think it's wise to keep them waiting for so long. They might get suspicious." Sirius snickered, stood up and pulled me along with him. He gave me one last peck and opened the door stepping into the living room where everyone was still standing around waiting for us. Sirius cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, which was unnecessary everyone was already staring at us as if we'd somehow sprouted a second head.
"So…how about we try that again?" Sirius gave them all a sheepish grin and a laugh erupted in the room. Sirius pushed me towards the door again. Once outside his flat I rolled my eyes and tried to straighten up as best I could.
"This is so weird…" I tell him as he runs his fingers through his hair.
"Yeah…but hey! Look at the bright side." He chimes kissing my temple and moving to turn the door knob.
"What?" I ask bemused.
"It's your birthday!" He states matter-of-factly and pushes the door all the way open to a crowd of cheering happy people.
I laugh merrily as they once again greet me. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMUS!" and flashes of cameras go off in my face. Lily and James once again move towards us. Lily pulls me into a big hug and kissing my cheek motherly. While James pats Sirius on the back. I see several other people move to congratulate me, including Dr. Pomphrey the nurses from the hospital, a couple of Sirius' other co-workers and the family next door.
I soon become very over whelmed by it all and frantically search for Sirius to find him just a few feet away. The grin he sends me stretches from ear to ear and I can't help but return it just as enthusiastically. I feel him move to stand next to me. He laces our fingers together giving my hand a squeeze.
I look up and our eyes meet and I somehow know that everything will be alright. Because we have each other and for some reason that's all that matters. People come and go, and every one of them leaves a permanent impression in our lives, be it good or bad, and we just have to remember that we'll pull through it. Because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
A/N: Yup, it's finally over. It's been nearly a year and I've finally completed it. I just want to thank all of you who have stuck with me and reviewed this whole time, without you guys I'd be completely lost. (Oh whoa is me) I enjoyed writing this for you guys. I never thought I would finish something like this, but once again I have surprised myself. I hope more than anything that you all liked this. Thanks once again for putting up with me. And I'll see you guys around. :)