Sadly, I do not work for DC, therefore what I am doing is technically illegal.
The Golden Oreo
The best traditions start by accident.
The best traditions start by accident.
Wallace Rudolph West had thought nothing of it when he dropped two quarters into the toy machine. John Stewart had of course scolded him on wasting his time, as well as fifty cents, on the prize in the small machine.
A plastic golden Oreo, roughly six centimeters in diameter.
The Flash wasn't sure why he had bought it. Perhaps he had intended it for J'onn J'onzz, but we will never know his original reasoning. It most likely was due to sudden impulse.
But the little golden Oreo had a long journey ahead of it. One that still continues to this very day.
The first person to originally be awarded the Golden Oreo was Dick Grayson and it was by accident. Miffed at certain, repeated "attacks" by certain former, unnamed Teen Titans members, Nightwing had taken matters into his own hands.
Perhaps that is why those unnamed Titans were trapped in a storage closet for two hours as they were forced to listen Thanagarian opera.
That was the first time that the Golden Oreo had been given as an award for a prank.
Consequently, the Golden Oreo was returned to Wallace West after the Scarlet Speedster recorded John Stewart talking in his sleep and played the recording over the Watchtower broadcasting system. Wallace Rudolph West had then encountered his second near death experience.
The little plastic Oreo had then lay forgotten in Wally's apartment for three months until it found a new holder.
The Emerald Archer had pulled off a stunning prank on the station's residential Boy Scout. Clark Kent wouldn't speak to him for two weeks. The prank is still legendary today.
It wasn't until when Oliver Queen received the Golden Oreo that it started to become a real tradition. It was decided that whoever pulled off the best prank of the year would be the keeper of the Golden Oreo until the next year.
April 1st was to be the day when the Oreo was or wasn't passed on.
For the next several years, the little Golden Oreo was passed back and forth between the Green Arrow and the Flash, until Garfield Logan, who had been Beast Boy, won it. The next three years would yield a heavy battle between Wally, Garfield, and Vic Stone, also known as Cyborg.
It is interesting to note that over half of Golden Oreo winners in the whole history of the tradition were once Teen Titans.
Virgil Hawkins, Static, is a well known Golden Oreo Winner. It was he who passed it on to Terrence McGinnis.
It should also be noted that all former Golden Oreo winners do not stop competing when they reach old age. Wallace West was ninety-three the last time he won it. Oliver Queen was ninety-six. Terry McGinnis was ninety-seven, his younger brother ninety-eight.
Matthew McGinnis, Nightwing, was also a regular holder of the coveted Golden Oreo. The McGinnis brothers are, even today, still renown for their legendary pranks.
It is another interesting fact that the Golden Oreo often circulates among descendents of the same families. Even seventy years after the death of Terry McGinnis, the little plastic cookie passed back and forth between descendents of the West family, the Queens, the McGinnises, as well as descendents of Vigilante and several Titans.
Iris West, the daughter of Wally and Linda West, is a legendary holder of the Golden Oreo. It is said that Rex Stewart never forgave her for a certain incident involving alcohol, black lipstick, and a video camera.
Surprisingly, Edward Sage, the great-grandson of Victor and Helena Sage, better known to the world as the Question and the Huntress, was also a legendary holder of the Golden Oreo. It is often said that even the great Terry McGinnis was speechless.
Although, that might be because he was at the receiving end of the prank.
So where is the Golden Oreo today, you might be wondering? Well, it currently resides in a special display case in the League Museum of the Legion of Superheroes. It lies in the middle of the Prank Vault.
And…ah! It appears we may actually be able to see the Golden Oreo Ceremony! If you look over there, Bouncing Boy, the current title holder, is removing the ancient artifact.
It's more worn now. One of Zatanna's female descendents, also a title holder, placed a sealing spell over the plastic cookie to protect it from aging. Another title holder, I believe it was Kyle Rayner, also drilled a hole into the cookie and placed it on a golden chain.
Aha, the ceremony is beginning. J'onn J'onzz, as dictated by tradition, must oversee the ceremony. The small gathering is reviewing the spectacular prank that had been pulled off this year. I believe it is the prank that had been pulled on Brainiac 5 last month.
You see, there is a new member to the Legion. She couldn't quite resist pulling something on the residential, twelfth level intellect. He never saw it coming.
And now, as tradition dictates, Kara Kent is the new holder of the Golden Oreo.
All because Wally West decided to randomly put fifty cents into a toy machine.