Alcohol: The Cause of and Solution to all of Life's Problems

By Lord Raa

Disclaim-me-do: Gentlemen, thaw your chickens.

"God damn it," a very drunk Misato cursed loudly as she entered her apartment.

"Is something up, Misato-san?" Shinji asked from the lounge.

"Yeah, that bastard Kaji started chasing after other women when we were out," the Major complained as she wrestled her shoes off.

Upon entering the lounge, the purple haired inebriate was surprised to that her male ward sitting on the couch with a CD in his hand. "Run out of batteries, Shin-chan?"

"Sorry, I-" the pilot was cut off by Misato dropping heavily on the couch next to him.

"You think I'm pretty, don't you Shin-chan?"

Shinji gulped when he noticed the slinky black dress his guardian was almost wearing. "Yes, very pretty," he agreed.

"I'm hot, I'm fun to be around and I can show you a good time, so why can't I get any action?" Misato whined. "Don't men like me?"

"Touji and Kensuke like you," the young Ikari answered.

"Yeah, but they're boys, not men," the drunken woman snorted. "I don't want a cheap one night stand, I want something better!"

"Like what?" Shinji asked, slightly backing away from Misato's waving hands.

"I don't know, being hugged and told I'm special. And not just because of my tits," the Major said as she hefted her cleavage. She noticed that the young man's face was threatening to burst from the blood pressure and smiled. "Oh, you like?"

The teenager gulped loudly.

"Would you like to touch them?" Misato asked, moving closer. "Do you want to see why Kaji and the others are so impressed?"

Shinji shot up off the sofa. "M-m-m-misato-san!"

"D-d-don't you like me, Shin-chan?" the purple haired woman asked with fake tears and an exaggerated sniffle.

"I do like you, Misato-san!" Shinji insisted. He took a deep breath. "It's just that… I'm not ready for that sort of thing."

The drunken Major looked at Shinji's blushing cheeks and felt a small pang of guilt about her behaviour towards the first man in a while to not think of her as another easy woman. "I'm sorry, Shin-chan, I didn't mean to upset you. Can you help me to bed?"

"I-," the pilot blushed furiously as the tactical officer grabbed his arm.


Shinji took a deep breath as he helped the inebriated woman to her feet. He staggered slightly under the weight of the drunkard, the awkward distribution constantly shifting as the pair slowly made their way out of the lounge.

"Do you need to go to the toilet, Misato-san?" the young Ikari asked.

"Yeah, I need a pee," the purple haired woman said as she reached out to push the door to the WC open.

Shinji manoeuvred his roommate through the narrow gap, only to freeze in panic when the voluptuous woman mentioned that she needed help to remove her underwear.

"Come on, Shin-chan, it's not like you've never seen them before, you do the laundry for God's sake."


"Look, Shinji, how long have we known each other? If I couldn't trust you not to do anything, I wouldn't have asked you to help me, would I?" Misato asked patronisingly as she leant against the tiled wall. "I may be drunk, but I'm not so drunk I can't tell if someone's groping me."

"I would never do something like that!" the pilot protested with a blush.

"I know, so hurry up and help me out of my panties, Shinji! I don't want to pee myself!" the drunken beauty reminded her roommate in an exasperated tone.

"Ok, Misato," Shinji said as he took a deep breath to steady his nerves before his delicate task.

The young Ikari slid Misato's soft, silken underwear from her shapely hips and down her smooth, slender thighs. As Shinji crouched down, he found that he needed to be careful or he'd be rubbing his face against the fantastic ass that his two best friends so often dreamed about.

"Ready, Misato-san," the blushing teenager announced. "I'll be outside."

"Ok," the drunkard smiled as she prepared to relieve the pressure in her bladder. "Oh, and Shinji, would you mind taking my panties into my room?"

Outside the toilet, Shinji blushed profusely as he held the almost indecent piece of black silk in his hands.

"Touji and Kensuke would kill me out of jealousy if they ever knew about this," the normally melancholy teenager sighed.

His thoughts turned to a conversation he'd had a scant few weeks earlier, "his fellow Stooges" as Asuka liked to refer to them, had asked him if he'd ever had the chance to sniff Misato's panties. He'd blushed and stammered out a denial that he'd ever thought of doing that.

The two perverts had rolled their eyes in unison, and muttered something about him "still being a child" and "how they would take care of Misato-san!" much to his embarrassment.

Shinji cast his gaze back to the cooling piece of fabric. "Should I or shouldn't I?" he asked himself over and over again.

Eventually, caution and fear at being branded a pervert won out over curiosity and he put the panties into his pocket and knocked on the door.


He was answered with a light snoring which made him smile. "You can't stay here, Misato-san."

Helping the incapacitated woman up off the toilet, Shinji wished he was a lot stronger. He grunted as he shifted the dead weight and wondered if this was like what yakuza types had to deal with when they were moving corpses about.

After several minutes of struggling, Shinji had finally managed to get the purple haired woman to her room and onto her bed. Feeling exhausted, the pilot said good night to Misato and decided to turn in himself.

When morning arrived, Shinji groggily switched the bleeping alarm off and sighed. He hadn't gotten much sleep thanks to his dreams about piloting Unit-01.

Sighing, he decided that food would make him and the no doubt hung-over Misato feel better and left to wash up before making breakfast.

Upon entering the toilet, he noticed that the last person there hadn't flushed last night. When he remembered just who that was, he blushed some more.

After he took his morning whiz, he flushed and left for the bathroom for a quick shower.

Ten minutes later, he was cooking breakfast – omelette, toast and coffee; though he had a suspicion that Misato would prefer "hair of the dog" for her morning meal.

Just before the food was ready, Shinji turned the heat off the hob and paid Misato a visit.

"Misato-san, would you like some breakfast?"

"Food? Is it a) greasy, b) spicy, or c) all of the above?" came the muffled reply.

"I can add some pepper to the omelette, and we do have some chilli sauce for a bacon sandwich," Shinji answered, hoping that it would be ok.

"You're my hero, I'll be out in a few," the woman said with a smile.

Shinji rushed back to the kitchen to start frying up some bacon for his roommate.

Moment later, as if attracted by the smell of cooking pork products, a mass of purple hair appeared at the kitchen entrance. "Hmmm, Shin-chan, you're too good to me."

"Morning, Misato-san," Shinji greeted as he turned the hob off for a second time that morning. "There's some coffee in the pot."

"Thanks, Shinji," the hung-over woman smiled. As her roommate passed her a plate of food, she looked at it with a small frown. "What, no sausages?"

"I'm sorry, Misato-san, but the only ones we had left were fish ones, and that's all we had that Pen-pen will eat," the part time chef apologised.

"That's ok, Shinji, I was just teasing you."

The meal was eaten in silence, and Katsuragi surprised her young ward by refraining from opening up an ale or two.

"Is everything alright, Misato-san?"

"Yeah, it's just that I remember stumbling home drunk as a lord but I don't remember climbing into bed," the tank-top and cut-off shorts clad woman answered with a concerned look on her face.

"You asked me to help you to your room, but when we stopped off at the toilet, you fell asleep," Shinji explained with a blush.

"I must have been trashed," Misato chuckled, "it's been a while since I last fell asleep on the toilet."

The purple haired beauty sipped some more coffee as her roommate cleared the table. "Wait, if I fell asleep on the toilet, and woke up on my bed with no panties on, what happened? Did you take advantage of me?"

"NO!" the pilot protested loudly. "You asked me to take them off you!"

When the young Ikari shoved his hands into his pockets, his face fell.

"What's up, Shin-chan?"

"N-nothing," the teenager replied with a blush.

"That look on your face means it's not 'nothing'. Tell me what it is," Misato ordered.

Shinji pulled his hand out to reveal the same black pair of skimpy panties that he'd helped the drunkard out of last night.

"So that's where they went to. Well, can I have them back now?"

The teenager's face threatened to explode from the blood pressure as he returned what his friends considered to be one of Tokyo-3's greatest treasures.

"Thanks for not doing anything to me last night, Shinji," Ms. Katsuragi said with a smile. "I mean it. I know what young men are like around a passed out woman, especially a looker like me."

Shinji's blush hardly dissipated.

"So, what are your plans for the day, seeing as how Asuka won't be back from Hikari's for ages?"

"I don't know, Misato-san. I thought I might get some cello practice in," the young Ikari shrugged.

"I know – why don't we go for a drive?"

Seeing the teenager blanch, Misato rolled her eyes. "Fine, let's do something else. What would you like to do on this fine, sunny Sunday? Come on, I'm giving you the chance to do anything you like with me."

"A-anything?" Shinji stuttered.

"Well, within reason. I don't mean locking ourselves in my bedroom and fucking like bunnies until we're too sore to move."

"I didn't mean that," the young Ikari protested, his blush reaching its previous level. "I thought that we might go for a picnic or something."

"Oh, well that's ok then. I don't think us having sandwiches out by a tree would cause too much of a problem," Misato mused. "Tell you what, let's ask Ritsuko join us. I'm sure she'd like to come."

Ritsuko Akagi stretched as she looked for her ringing phone.


"¬Ritsuko, it's me, Misato. Are you doing anything today?¬"

The faux blonde scratched her head. "No, nothing planned. I was hoping to catch up on some sleep. Why?"

"¬I was just wondering if you'd like to come with me and Shinji for a picnic, that's all. I know how you don't get out much.¬"

"I see, thanks for your concern about me, Misato," Ritsuko rolled her eyes. "Let me get back to you, ok?"

"¬Yeah, sure. Call me back on the home phone, Shinji'll answer while I take a bath,¬" Misato replied cheerfully before hanging up.

Ritsuko returned the phone to its cradle and stretched. Climbing out of bed for some food, the chain smoking scientist lit up her first cigarette of the day as she walked to her kitchen.

"Damn," the still sleepy woman cursed. "I guess that I need to go shopping for food… unless I take Misato up on her offer. I suppose spending time with her wouldn't be too bad, IF she doesn't get hammered."

Walking back to her cordless phone, she dialled Misato's apartment and told Shinji that she'd join them for their picnic.

When Shinji finished speaking with Ritsuko, he strode back into the kitchen to make enough food for another person.

"Was that Ritsuko?" Misato asked through the bathroom door, causing the young Ikari pause.

"Yes, she'll be here in about half an hour," the amateur chef answered.

Ritsuko rang the doorbell five minutes after Misato had finished dressing. She was wearing a black skirt and a sky blue blouse combination, while the purple haired woman had chosen a pair of faded blue jeans that hugged her shapely derriere and a grey sweatshirt.

"Hi Ritsuko," Misato greeted with a smile.

"Hi Misato," the bottle blonde waved. "Where are we going for this picnic?"

"Why? Are you hungry?" the tactical officer teased.

"Yes, actually, I am," Ritsuko said tersely.

"Hello, Dr. Akagi," Shinji said as he walked up to the front door with three lunchboxes. "I hope you like octopus and mackerel."

"Hi, Shinji. Yes, I do like octopus and mackerel. Where were you thinking of going for this picnic?"

"I was thinking by the lakeside at the Geo-Front," Misato answered. "It seems as good a place as any."

After the meal, Ritsuko was grateful that she'd been invited along, and even more grateful that it was Shinji that had made it. As a sign of her appreciation, the bottle blonde had told the pilot to call her by her first name.

"Hey, Shin-chan, would you mind getting me a can of iced coffee?" Misato asked. "White with sugar, please."

"Ok, would you like anything Ritsuko-san?"

"Yeah, the same please."

As the pilot left to find a vending machine, Misato turned to her friend from college. "Ritsuko, can I ask you a question?"


"If you were Shinji's guardian, would you let him go out with me?"

"Pardon? Can we back up a few spaces? What's brought all this on?" the blonde asked as she reached for her cigarettes.

"Last night, I came home a bit worse for wear," Misato admitted.

"And? Wait, are you telling me you fooled around with Shinji?"

"No! It's just that I know he finds me attractive and he had ample opportunity to get his rocks off last night," the purple haired woman explained. "He didn't even try to cop a feel when he helped me to bed."

"And the point you're trying to make is that Shinji didn't act like most boys his age would?" Ritsuko asked as she breathed out a plume of smoke.

"No," Misato sighed. "My point is that he looks after me and I want to do something nice for him. You got any ideas?"

"Well, your intentions are good, even if your methods are dubious, Misato," the blonde sighed. "You think getting a girlfriend for Shinji would help him?"

"Yes, but I can't think of anyone other than Rei and, well, she wouldn't know what to do. Any other girl from his school would be a security risk," the Chief of Operations mused. "Hey, what about you? Would you like to be Shinji's girlfriend?"

"Hardly," the smoker deadpanned. "Teenaged boys aren't my type."

"What about Maya? Is she seeing anyone?"

"Misato, what do you think Shinji would do if he found out that you fixed him up with a girl?" Ritsuko asked, gesturing to the approaching pilot with a nod of her head.

"Yeah, you're right. I guess that I'll have to take one for the team," Misato grinned, causing her friend to roll her eyes.

"Here you go, Misato-san, Ritsuko-san," Shinji smiled as he handed a can to each of his fellow picnickers.

"Thanks, Shinji," the two woman smiled.

"So then, Shinji, is there a girl you like?" Misato asked as she cracked open her can.

"Misato's not trying to embarrass you, Shinji-kun, she just thinks that a relationship with a girl would do you good," the scientist clarified.

"Oh, ok" Shinji nodded in relief. "I guess that there is. Rei's not mean to me."

"That's not the same thing, Shin-chan," the purple haired woman countered. "I'm talking about having someone who makes you feel special. Kinda like the way you treat me makes me feel."

When she saw Shinji, Misato quickly added, "I mean because you look after me. I don't lust after teenaged boys, I'll have you know!"

"That's going to disappoint those two kids that were in the entry plug," Ritsuko deliberately muttered loud enough for her friends to hear.

Shinji looked away to hide the smirk on his face.

The scientist's mobile phone alerted her to the fact that he's received a text message. "Damn," she cursed. "Looks like I need to get back to the office."

"Ok, Shinji, you get the cloth and the boxes, I'll take care of the trash," Misato said as she stood up.

A short while later, the trio of picnickers had returned to Misato's apartment. As Ritsuko remotely unlocked her car, she turned to face her old friend.


The purple haired woman locked her car and walked up to the bottle blonde. "Yeah?"

"Look, normally I wouldn't care about who you're sleeping with, but just don't do anything stupid with Shinji," the scientist warned.


"Don't be his girlfriend, be his friend who just so happens to be a girl."

"I'm not planning on fooling around with him," Misato hissed as she looked to see if Shinji had overheard her conversation.

"I know, Misato, I'm just saying that you need to be extra careful it doesn't get out of hand."

When Shinji and Misato returned home, they were greeted by the sight of Asuka glaring angrily at them.

"And just where have you been?"

"We were having a picnic, what's it to you?" Misato asked as she put her keys on the side table in the hallway. "Why? Did you feel left out?"

"No," Asuka rolled her eyes, "who'd be jealous of anyone on a date with that baka?"

"Sounds like a classic case of denial," the purple haired woman smirked. "But that's neither here nor there. Why don't you put the kettle on, Shin-chan?"

"Of course, Misato-san," the Third Child agreed, making his way to the kitchen.

"What's up, Asuka?" Misato asked when they were alone.

"Nothing," the redhead replied truthfully. "I'm just surprised to see you going out with Shinji, that's all. You're not dating him, are you?"

Misato rolled her eyes, knowing that the Second Child's comment was a ploy to bait her into making some sort of outlandish claim or protestation. "You sound jealous that I was on a date with such a perfect gentleman, Asuka-chan."

"I am not jealous of you and that boring little boy!" Asuka huffed before storming off to her room, leaving the tactical officer to smile in victory.

"Now, let's get some tea."

That evening, Shinji, Asuka and Misato sat in front of the TV. They were watching an animated comedy about an android from the future that had travelled to the past. Apparently, she was under orders to learn about human behaviour so she could teach the children that had been artificially gestated from cryogenically frozen embryos.

"This is your classic 'fish out of water' comedy," Asuka dismissed. "I mean, the fact that she has no usable skills in this setting is a pathetic attempt to get us to feel like she's the plucky underdog, rather than decide that she's actually useless. And what's with the male lead being attracted to her, she a fucking robot!"

"What? You think he'd be better off with the violent girl?" Misato asked with more than a hint of amusement in her voice. She took a long swig of her beer.

"Like he's in her league," the redhead snorted. "Just look at her, she's smart, beautiful, rich and what's he got to offer? Nothing, because he's a loser."

"That's a bit harsh, Asuka, I mean he isn't a jerk like that other guy," Shinji replied.

"No, but he's got a spine like a wet noodle, at least you're good in bed, I mean battle," Asuka blushed as she covered her slip.

"Paging Dr. Freud," Misato chuckled. "What makes you think that Shinji would be good in bed, Asuka? You and Shinji going at it when I'm not here?"

"No!" the pilots protested in unison.

"I'll have you know that I'm an unsullied maiden!" Asuka shouted angrily at the perceived slur. "I'm saving myself for Kaji!"

"Well, I suppose that when it starts to burn when you pee, it'll be his fault rather than yours," the purple haired woman chuckled.

"What? Didn't you and Kaji do it in college?" asked the redhead.

"Yeah, but I made sure he always wore a condom, Asuka. You're a college graduate, Asuka, surely you know what can be passed on by sex," said the voluptuous woman.

"You don't think he's got the clap, do you?"

"To be honest, I don't know. I wouldn't let him touch me like that without getting him tested first," Misato shrugged. "But that's enough talk of manwhores and STIs. It's getting late, and you two have school in the morning."

"I call the bathroom first," Asuka said as she rushed out to claim her place ahead of the others.

Misato turned to her other ward. "So then, Shin-chan, did you have fun today?"

"The picnic was nice," the Third Child smiled.

"Well, I talked with Ritsuko, and I've decided that we're going to do more fun things together. Now, I can't promise how often they'll be, what with the Angels and all, but I'll try to make to for us to spend together, how's that sound?"

"That sounds great, Misato-san," Shinji smiled broadly. He stood to gather the dishes and empty wrappers and beer cans. "Do you want another beer?"

"Yeah, thanks Shin-chan."

A short while after Shinji and Asuka went to their rooms, Misato switched the TV off and stretched.

Her evening's half dozen beers started to stir certain feelings and urges insider her. "Hmm, perhaps I could spare a few minutes to sort out that itch," she thought with a sly grin.

Slinking off to her room, the purple haired quickly undressed and opened the bottom drawer of her bedside cabinet. She pulled out her battery operated friend. It wasn't something that she'd used for a while, what with the Angel attacks, her frequent alcohol induced comas and the fact that she didn't have as much time to herself lately.

"Well, it seems that I need your help, Vibe-chan," Misato sighed. "I know you're good, but we have to be quick."

Checking batteries, she groaned in frustration when she realised she had to change them. "At least they haven't leaked and ruined you."

Lying on her back, the slightly buzzed woman switched on her sex toy and started to tease her erogenous zones. She began with her full breasts, the twin "ears" of the vibrator stimulating her nipples and eliciting a soft moan of pleasure.

"I think I'm ready for the main event, Vibe-chan," Misato said to her bedtime companion.

Shinji's eyes snapped open. There was no two ways about it, he needed to pee.

He struggled to his feet in the dark, not wanting to risk disturbing the others by switching the light on. Feeling his way along the corridor to the toilet, he paused when he heard what he thought were sobs from Misato's room.

The young Ikari decided that he needed to comfort his guardian more than he needed to urinate and so headed to Misato's room. It was then that he heard a faint buzzing sound and the noises that the purple haired woman was making becoming louder.

"Misato-san, are you alri-" Shinji froze as he saw his commanding officer naked, masturbating with a buzzing sex toy. His face turned bright red as he suffered a small nosebleed.

"Shinji! What are you doing here?" Misato asked, looking around, hoping that Asuka was still asleep.

"I thought I heard you crying, Misato-san," the pilot replied, as he clutched his face to stop blood from spilling everywhere.

"I didn't mean for you to see this, Shinji, I'm so sorry," the nude woman sounded suitably ashamed at being caught like in the middle of such an act by her young charge.

Normally, Misato would have teased Shinji to deflect attention from her own misdemeanour, and she certainly had enough ammunition for that when she saw the way the pilot's boxer shorts were tenting, but she felt that she should continue on her quest to prove her responsibility.

"I can explain, Shinji," the Captain insisted weakly. "But I'll understand if you don't want to be around me anymore."

The blushing Shinji asked the big question. "W-why were you doing that?"

"Well, you know when you think about certain girls in a certain way, you get excited?" Misato asked, not able to look at the young man. "You know, so excited you need to do something about it?"

The pilot nodded, his cheeks radiating shame and embarrassment.

"Well, sometimes women get excited like that. Especially it it's been a while since we were intimate with someone," the purple haired woman admitted.

"Oh, I sorry for bursting in on you," the teenager apologised before leaving for his original destination. "I won't bother you again."

"Left alone, yet again," Misato sighed to the empty room. "I can't even spend time with you anymore, Vibe-chan."

She looked up. "Wait, does he think I want to get rid of him? Asuka's right, he is a baka…"

Sighing again, she rose to her feet and rushed off to talk with her male roommate.

"Shinji," Misato called through the door to the male pilot's room.

"Yes, Misato-san," the young Ikari asked from behind the naked woman.

"Ah," the Chief of Operations gasped. "Where did you come from?"

"I was in the toilet."

"Oh. I want you to know that I want you to stay with me," the curvaceous nude said with a smile. She rolled her eyes when the shy young man looked away. "Look at me, Shinji."

"But you're naked…"

"And your point is?" Misato asked as she placed her hands on the pilot's cheeks. "Look Shinji, I want you to stay with me. Not just because you look after the apartment, but because you're nice to me."

Shinji smiled shyly.

"In fact, Mr. Ikari, if you were ten years older, I know for a fact that you wouldn't be sleeping in this room," the purple haired beauty winked. "Hell, if you were five years older, we'd probably be knocking boots."

"Misato! You're embarrassing me!" the pilot whined.

"You think I'm teasing you? You want me to prove I'm not?"

The young Ikari nodded silently.

The voluptuous drunkard surprised the reluctant pilot by sticking her tongue in his mouth. After what seemed like an eternity for Shinji, Misato broke the kiss, only for the young Ikari to faint.

"Pfft, girl pants," the purple haired lovely snorted good-naturedly. "Come on Shin-chan, let's get you to bed."

"M-misato-san? I had this weird dream that were naked and we were kiss-"

"Oh, so kissing me is weird, eh?" Misato teased. "And I thought you knew how to treat a girl properly."


"Shush, unless you want to wake up Asuka."

Shinji clapped a hand over his mouth. "Sorry, Misato-san," he whispered.

"It's ok, Shinji. We're both tired, so let's get some sleep, shall we?" The two roommates parted ways for the night.

During breakfast, Shinji found that he was unable to look Misato in the eye without blushing.

"What's up, Shinji? You decided to perv over Misato like your fellow Stooges?" Asuka asked after growing tired of the interaction between her two roommates.

"Asuka, Shinji's a teenaged male, he can't help it if he finds me attractive," Misato smirked. "Besides, it just show's he's got taste."

The young Ikari blushed at the way he was being talked about, but continued eating.

"Pfft," Asuka snorted in derision.

"Kaji-san lusts after Misato-san, don't you think that he's got taste?" Shinji asked.

"That's got different!" the redhead retorted.

"How so, Asuka?" Misato asked as she sipped her coffee. "I really want to know how Kaji trying to get into my panties is different to Shinji having a crush on me."

"It just is, ok!"

"If you say so, Asuka. Is it that time already? You'd better get going if you don't want to be late," the purple haired lovely told her charges.

Misato walked up to Ritsuko's office and knocked on the door. "Hey, Ritsuko, you got a moment to talk?"

"Yes, come on in, Misato. What's up?" the shapely scientist asked as she sipped her lukewarm coffee.

"It's about Shinji."

"What did you do?" the faux blonde asked with a sigh. "You made a move on him, didn't you?"

"No, well, kinda," the purple haired beauty winced. She shut the door behind her and sat next to her former college roommate. "I may have stuck my tongue down Shinji's throat last night."

"Why? Why would you do that, especially after I told you to be careful, Misato," Ritsuko said as she rubbed her temples. "You're doing this deliberately to me, aren't you?"

"No!" Misato insisted. "It's just that I was a bit vocal last night when I was with Vibe-chan and Shinji walked in on me, thinking I was crying."

"Wait, so Shinji caught you masturbating last night and you made out with him?" Dr. Akagi asked in tired tone. "I can't believe you thought that was a good idea, Misato."

"I didn't plan on that happening, Ritsuko! I just kissed him to prove that I wasn't teasing him when I said that liked him," the Captain insisted, her cheeks turning red at that admission.

"And now he's all confused about what to do and how to act around you, Misato," the bottle blonde sighed. She reached for her cigarettes. "I'll be honest, Misato, I don't approve of you getting romantically involved with Shinji. One, there's the age gap; two, you're co-workers, and office romances rarely work out; and three, the most important reason for you not to do anything like that, is the minor detail of you being his legal guardian."

The purple haired woman sat in silence.

"Look, Misato, it's not like I want to see you unhappy," Ritsuko said as she exhaled a plume of smoke. "But do you really think having that sort of relationship with Shinji is going to make you both happy?"

"It's not like his life is exactly joyous at the moment, is it?" Misato reasoned.

"Fine," the smoker rolled her eyes. " Do what you want. I won't tell anyone unless they ask, but I won't cover for you, ok?"

"Thanks, Ritsuko."

To be continued…

Well, I though that I needed to write a Shinji/Misato fic. So that's why you got this lime :P

There could be more lemony goodness in later chapters, but as you're aware, the "good stuff" isn't allowed here. Check out my homepage on my profile if you think a scene was cut short, as I'll have post an unedited version elsewhere and there should be a link to direct you to the right place…

This was sort of pre-read by Chi Vayne, but I needed to post this while he was working, so sorry for any mistakes you see.

Until laterer comes, folks.