A/N: Don't like this chapter because the original version was COMPLETELY different, then I went back, changed names, some dialogue and WHAM I made this. I'm sorry if it's not understandable, but I refuse to get a beta for this story and I can't my mistakes this early. I have to wait a few days, maybe a week, and then look back. If I have to change anything, I'll repost it immediately.
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.
Warnings: You should know by now what's going to be in these chapters. New one: language.
Yuuta watched as Syusuke turned his head to him. Tears were streaking his face and his eyes were red.
Both the youngest and oldest Fuji sibling tightened their grip.
Oh god. This was not good.
Chapter 5: Suicide and Affection
I don't want…this…to happen anymore…
I need to…DIE.
Fuji looked into the bathroom mirror with wild eyes. He held a pin to his wrists. He had been lucky enough to find the pin in the hallways when he tried to escape. Now there was no need to escape. He just needed to end it.
He slashed his right wrist, near the tattoo (which he decided to keep since it won't matter when he dies), and licked his dry lips wildly as he saw the red blood ooze out.
Nice pain…nice blood… I HATE it…
I'm still ALIVE.
"Syusuke! What the fuck are you DOING?!?!"
Shut up…I need…to DIE!
He slashed his wrist again. Tears started to brim his eyes.
"LET GO OF THE FUCKING PIN!"
I need to die…
"LET GO OF IT!"
"SYUSUKE! GET YOURSELF TOGETHER! DON'T YOU DARE KILL YOURSELF!"
Shut up…it's annoying…
"SYUSUKE, DROP THE FUCKING PIN!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"
Fuji shut his mouth quickly. Shit, that'll definitely catch attention. Ever since he tried committing suicide a few days back, there was always a nurse outside his room, making sure he didn't do anything to hurt himself.
He needed to end this. Fast.
He heard footsteps. The blood oozed down his arm. He began the other one; a new gash. Not good enough. Not deep enough. He pressed harder and bit his lip. Pain, he welcomed it.
"OH MY LORD, FUJI-SAN!"
He felt hands on his, trying to stop the lovely process of making himself bleed. People starting shouting. The voice in his head shouted, "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU IDIOT?!?!" The loss of blood was getting to him. Things started turning black.
Hard enough to make me pass out, but not to kill me, Fuji thought.
SKIP THIS IF YOU WANT: (A/N: Ahem, err…this is a short intermission… I used very colorful words up there (points), err sorry and suicide… Don't even think about it because if you die, chances are, someone's going to feel sad. I feel sad every time I hear someone died of suicide because I had a friend who died because she/he hated her life. I loved her/him so much, but some fucking stupid people pushed her/him to it. If you pushed anyone to commit suicide, just think that what if it was you instead of that person who had died? Anyway, I don't really know much about suicide so if I got any details wrong up there, tell me. More cursing up ahead. Intermission ends here.)
"THAT WAS SO FUCKING STUPID OF YOU! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU FUCKING THINKING! ARE YOU RETARDED?"
SHUT UP! I DON'T NEED YOU TO YELL AT ME! THIS ISN'T YOUR BODY! IT'S MINE! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH IT!
"YOU REALLY ARE A FUCKING RETARD! WE SHARE THIS BODY!"
NO WE FUCKING DON'T! GO BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE!
"I CAN'T! I'M YOU!"
Syusuke didn't reply, but sobbed quietly.
Yumiko sniffed as she waited outside Syusuke's room. For the past five hours, her parents, Yuuta, and she had been crying their eyes out. Yuuta was asleep, exhausted from crying. Her mother had passed out when she saw Syusuke, so the doctors allowed her father to place her into one of the empty rooms.
Syusuke…what were you thinking?
Yumiko hugged her knees closer to her chest as more tears started falling. In times like these, Yumiko felt like a child, not an adult.
Her precious ototo was being treated for suicide right now.
She whimpered. She felt so helpless and vulnerable when she saw Syusuke like that.
Never since that…time…had Fuji thought about suicide. Yumiko knew he loved his life as a Seigaku regular.
Then why, Syusuke? Why are you trying to kill yourself? Was there really more to the incident those years ago?
No, there couldn't be. Yuuta was there the whole time and he confirmed everything Syusuke had said.
Yumiko closed her eyes and bawled silently as she could. Nurses and visitors gave her sympathetic looks before continuing on, thanking the Lord that they weren't in her position.
Yumiko stared at the door to her brother's hospital room.
Oh please, Syusuke. Don't die on us…
Ryoma was surprised when he overheard a very private conversation Ryuzaki-sensei was having with the school's guidance counselor.
Fuji Syusuke had tried to commit suicide.
At first, Ryoma couldn't believe. No way, not his senpai… He was fine when he left him five days ago.
Ryoma skipped practice and ran to the hospital.
There were two nurses in the room, who were supposed to watch over Fuji. They were surprised when they saw a boy run into the room.
The boy looked as if he was running for a long time. "E-excuse me, can I stay with Fuji-senpai for a while?"
The nurses looked at each other. Sure, the boy was cute, but they had orders to never leave the room unsupervised. Well…if he was here, it wouldn't exactly be unsupervised. The younger one shrugged.
"He's sleeping and you shouldn't bother him," the older one said.
"Please, I'd only like to stay by his side for a while."
The younger nurse sighed. "Fine, but if anything happens at all, call us. We'll be waiting outside. You have ten minutes."
Ryoma nodded his thanks as the nurses left the room and closed the door behind them.
Ryoma dropped his bags as he walked over to his senpai.
"Fuji-senpai," Ryoma said quietly, leaning down to talk next to his ear, "I know you're awake, please, open your eyes."
Fuji made no movement.
Ryoma tried not to look as worried as he felt. He was sure that Fuji was awake. "Please wake up…."
Empty eyes, devoid of any emotions, wearily open. Only the eyes turned to Ryoma, while the rest of his body made no attempt to move. Ryoma could not help but gasp when he saw those eyes.
"Fuji-senpai…" Tears started to brim his eyes, but he made no move to wipe it away. They were alone in the room after all.
He let his hand crawl down the bandaged arm and clasped tightly onto Fuji's hand. "Fuji-senpai, I…I want to help you. Tell me how to help you…"
The lifeless eyes returned back to the ceiling.
Ryoma whimpered. "Please…senpai…"
Fuji's voice rasped out. "I…want to die…"
Tears fell down Ryoma's cheeks when he heard that. He choked back a sob and Syusuke turned his eyes to him.
"Will you kill me…?"
Ryoma cried out at that and tightened his grip on the tennis prodigy. "Why? Why do you want to die so much?"
"I…don't want to live…I have nothing to live for…Nothing but pain, suffering, and-"
Ryoma roughly grabbed Fuji by his shirt, tears streaking his face and dampening his uniform and Fuji's clothes. "Senpai! Live for us then! For your family! Your friends! We don't want to lose you, senpai! W-We love you!"
Syusuke's dull eyes widened in surprise, before looking away sadly, tears also started to fall down his cheeks. "You…you'll only get hurt…"
Ryoma's face flashed with strong emotion. He grabbed Fuji's chin and forced him to look at him.
When he was sure he caught Syusuke's attention, he strongly said, "We'll take chances with that…I can't let you suffer like this anymore."
A/N: So, what's my decision? Hmmm…it'll be hard work, but I decided to focus on strong friendships. I kind of got what I want to put in the future chapters in my head, but the WAY future is still hazy. I'll figure it out when I get there. There still is a chance of pairings, so don't lose hope yet. (Though I doubt it.) It frustrates me that I made some mistakes in the previous chapters, but I can't go back and fix it, for some reason. I hope I can fix the mistakes as the story progresses.
I'm sorry to all the people who wanted pairings. For now, strong friendship is the main thing here but, yeah, Syusuke's still bisexual. There's a possibility there will be pairings in the future, but they'll be brief and won't last until the end. Right now, though, I have no clue on how to break Tezuka and make him act like he really loves Syusuke, but I'm sure as the story continues I'll get there. If I did Tezuka/Fuji right now there will be some terrible OOCness, so any Tezuka/Fuji fans please don't be upset! For the Fuji/Ryoma pairing fans, this pair will be somewhat easier (or on the same difficulty). So much work, but I enjoy it. Don't hate me and please continue to support me!
Interaction with the Characters:
Lazy-Hime: Okay, the pairing I made Syu/Ryo could be temporarily or permanent. I chose this because I think it's easier to write then Tez/Fuji or any others. I also chose this because it's one of my favorite pairings. (Smiles)
Fuji: (walks around like a zombie, walks into a wall)
Ryoma: Syusuke! (runs to catch his fallen lover)
Fuji: A-arigatou, Ryoma…
Ryoma: Syusuke! Pull yourself together! Syusuke!
Lazy-Hime: Okay, okay, save the dramatics for later. This time it's Kaidoh's turn. Kaidoh…?
Kaidoh: Fssssssssshh. Just Review.
Lazy-Hime: (laughs nervously)
For any information for updates on any of my stories, it's on my bio or profile.
Edit 12/24: Uhm, to tell you the truth, this chapter was unexpected. I believe this has been sitting in my computer for a while. I forgot about it. To the people who have been waiting for this for a long time, I apologize. I can't tell you when exactly the next chapter's going to be up, because I have been way too busy for my own good. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter (as depressing as it is for Christmas) and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
(And if you would give me suggestions on what you would like added to the chapters, it would be greatly appreciated and considered.)