The first thing that you simply must understand is that the Blind Bandit and the Daughter of Lao are two different people. They are, in no way shape or form, the same person. The Bei Fong family doesn't even have a daughter, and if they did, she would not be the blind rogue in the Earthbending Tournament. If fact, if Lao Bei Fong had a daughter, she would be a quiet, docile girl, fragile and breakable like a porcelain doll, yet beautiful in her own way. She would not be able to bend, and if she was, she would be kept at the basic level, simple breathing exercises and the like (nothing too difficult for such a delicate beauty).
The daughter of Lao Bei Fong would not be blind. This is why Lao Bei Fong does not have a daughter. The Bei Fong family is the richest in the world, yet they have no children (how sad!). So you must be mistaken: there is no way the Blind Bandit and the daughter of Lao are the same, because Lao has no daughter.
And if he did, she would not be the Blind Bandit.
The Blind Bandit is ruthless and cunning. She is small, but she is not delicate or weak. The first time she stepped into the arena, her opponent was laughing so hard he did not even see the twin boulders coming towards him until they had already knocked him out of the ring. It took her two weeks to become the champion, and she held that title for little over a year (until that stupid airbender showed up).
The Blind Bandit, above everything else, loves to fight. She lives for it. A euphoria she can't explain rushes through her every time her feet twist and the ground shakes. She has a tart tongue and the temper of a hellcat; no one brings her down. She cares little for manners and will probably bite you if you complain about her muddled hair or dirty street clothes. She is as uncouth and ill mannered as they come; there is absolutely no way the Blind Bandit and the daughter of Lao are the same person.
No, they are not the same person and never will be.
But one day, Toph hopes, they'll strike a balance, or make a deal, or end a war.
It will be then when the world will at last meet Toph, the girl, not the Daughter, not the Bandit.
She just hopes that Toph doesn't die, lostin the crossfire of the Daughter and the Bandit.
Title means: Of the two fates offered, make your choice.
Hope this makes sense.Jak