Summary: Fayt ponders the origins of Sophia's new nickname for Albel… but will he be able to handle the truth? I think not! Sequel to Tricks are for Kids
Disclaimer: This authoress does not own Star Ocean Till the End of Time, or any of the respective characters.
Warnings: OOC-ness due to humour. Rating upped for sexual innuendos.
A/N: I hope everyone likes this as much as the first one XD. I personally prefer it.
"Bah, there she goes again! Tell me, maggot, do all females behave this way when they believe they are in a 'relationship'? This girl refuses to leave me in peace!"
Fayt glanced up at Albel and slouched down lower in his seat so that only a tuft of blue hair was visible from behind his laptop. The confusion on Albel's face when he mentioned the word 'relationship' was simply priceless. He was quickly going red from the effort to keep his laughter in check. Thank Apris no one else was around!
Albel glared at him furiously, his crimson gaze burning holes in the computer. What reason did he have to be embarrassed about? He was the one being called honey bunny! Never mind the fact that he didn't even know what a bunny was. The only conclusion he could reach was that it was something cute. Which was bad. Albel Nox did not do cute.
What Fayt was really trying to do was hide his wide grin from the angry Albel. The bluenette didn't want to be number one on Albel's list of targets, aka victims (he hadn't forgotten what Albel had done to Cliff when he found out who planted itching powder in his pants. Suffice to say, it had been very ugly) The Black Brigade captain could do very interesting –but very nasty- things with that claw… Fayt shuddered but kept quiet.
"Answer me, maggot, before the accursed girl finds me!" he hissed, pounding one fist on the table.
"There you are, honey bunny! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Sophia popped up next to the disgruntled swordsman before flinging herself onto him. She cuddled into his lap and planted a messy kiss onto his cheek. "Did you miss me?"
"I just saw you five minutes ago, worm, how could I possibly miss you already?"
But Fayt noticed that Albel was hardly in a hurry to push her off. He allowed her to continue sitting on his lap and play with his hair. Fayt almost went into shock right there and then when he thought he saw the glimmer of a smile on his face as a result of Sophia's ministrations.
Wow. He must actually like her. And here Fayt had thought that it was just a once off thing because of sex. How could he not think that when it came toAlbel? Eh, Fayt wasn't entirely sure they had done the deed, but why else would Albel bother? It was in his opinion that the two had absolutely nothing in common. But Sophia and Albel apparently thought otherwise.
But the real question was where had 'honey bunny' come from?
Fayt examined the swordsman carefully. There was nothing cute or cuddly about him! Even his hair looked spiky and angry.
He had never seen anyone who looked less like a bunny. Hell, a better pet name for Albel would be something like 'grumpy bastard'. At least then it would be true. Fayt sighed with irritation, glaring out of the corner of his eye. Even lost in his thoughts, he could not ignore the fact that the two of them were now sucking face right in front of them. Did they have no shame?
"C'mon wormy, let's go upstairs!" she exclaimed suddenly, jumping off of him and tugging demandingly on his hand.
"Wormy?" this time the titbit was too juicy for Fayt to keep quiet.
Albel actually had the grace to look momentarily embarrassed for a second before whacking Fayt on the head. "Mind your own business, maggot!"
"Aw, don't be mean, honey bunny!"
Albel's face twisted a little at the mention of the dreaded pet name but then it got worse.
"It's not Fayt's fault that he can never understand the language of love that we'll share for ever and ever and ever and ever!"
Yup, commitment was becoming more of a trial that anything he could have foreseen in his miserable existence.
His eye twitched as Sophia dragged him off to her room. For a moment he even considered if the probability of intimacy with the brunette was worth suffering this humiliation in front of the insufferable crew on this blasted ship.
"Poor honey bunny's all grumpy wumpy!" she squealed, seeing the nauseated look on his face.
Maybe if he killed himself now, he could escape before his irritation hit critical levels.
Hmm, what should it be…?
A noose? He could use one of the ridiculously pink sheets in her room. At least he would be rid of the hated sheet.
Perhaps he could try throttling himself. Yeah, he was pretty sure he could manage that. One hand easy (even in suicide, Albel could not resist a challenge).
Or should he shove his head in the toilet and get Nel to keep it there? The female maggot hated his guts and would be happy to oblige, she would even flush it a couple of times to make his demise quicker.
Was he that desperate?
"I'm gonna make it all better…"
At the suggestive coo in her voice, Albel paused to contemplate the situation: he could go with her and risk being annoyed to death (but satisfied) or he could go back to his room, very cold and very unsatisfied with just him and his rampant hormones. If he wanted, he could go pay Maria a visit… he was sure the maggot had the hots for him… but… ugh. He could not believe he had just suggested that to himself. Nope, it was Sophia, Nel (Apris forbid) or a cold bed.
He would take his chances. And thus the hormones won once again.
Fayt watched Albel being dragged away and sighed, dropping his head on the keyboard with a thud.
"What's the matter with you?"
The bluenette didn't raise his head at the sound of the familiar drawl. "Nothing, Cliff. Absolutely nothing."
The Klausian shrugged and continued sipping his coffee, unperturbed by the boy's odd behaviour. But when he turned to go, Fayt raised his head. "Cliff?"
"Why does Sophia call Albel 'honey bunny'?"
There was a wide grin on the blonde's face. "You mean you don't know?"
Annoyed, he glared at Cliff. "No. Am I supposed to?"
"What's it like to live on Planet Fayt?" there was a bemused look on his face, but a spark of mischief danced in his eyes.
"What's that supposed to mean?" the bluenette growled.
"Fayt. You live in a box."
"I do not!"
Cliff scoffed and slurped up the last of his coffee. "And evidently that box doesn't even have holes. Talk to me when someone punches some holes into it. Then we can talk big guy's talk about the meanings of pet names."
"Cliff, don't leave me like this!"
In desperation, the bluenette flung himself onto the ground and clung to his long legs. "I have to know!"
"Sorry kid, can't help ya. But listen, I have this new site that you can check out if you're that bored."
He took the slip of paper that Cliff offered and gazed at it suspiciously. "Fanfiction? What the hell is that?"
"Just check it out. You might like it." With Fayt already turning to his computer, he missed the evil gin on the blonde's face.
"Yeah, we'll see you come out of that box real quick…" Cliff mumbled to himself as he ambled out of the room. "Real, real soon."A few hours later…
Fayt burst out of the room, knocking a startled Maria and Nel out of his way.
"Fayt? What happened?"
"T-The s-s-stories… the f-fanart… HONEY BUNNY!"
The two women gave each other startled looks. "Fanfiction? Fanart? Honey bunny?What in Apris's name is he talking about?" Nel whispered to her friend. There was a worried look in Maria's eyes.
"I have no idea." But as she spoke, realization dawned on her face and she bent her head to whisper frantically into the scarlet haired warrior's ear and immediately the two burst out laughing as Fayt sobbed pathetically on the floor.
"W-why are you laughing a-at me?" he hiccupped.
Maria only shook her head and patted his shoulder consolingly as she and Nel continued on their way. Once they were out of earshot of Fayt, Nel glanced sideways at the bluenette girl.
"So now he knows?"
"Poor kid… how could Cliff have let him find out like that? I've got a good mind to get hold of that man. 'The kid needs a few shocks' my ass…"
Maria shrugged. "Well, there's nothing we can do about it now. Want to get lunch?"
"Why not." Nel spared one last glance at the distraught teen and sniggered. "He sure got one hell of a hole punched in his box."
Meanwhile, Fayt lay twitching on the ground, curled in a foetal position as horrifying images flashed through his mind.
The last one was the worst. Ugh. He had felt sick while he stared at the screen. He sniffed the air suspiciously and groaned. Hell, he had been sick!
How could Cliff have done that to him?
No one deserved to see such scandalous pictures of themselves on the Internet! Especially not sucking face (as well as sucking… well, you know…) with someone like Albel. And it involved honey. Lots of it. And bunnies (well, not real ones- the slipper kind). And he could not even bring himself to describe the fanfiction. He had never known there were so many interesting uses for the sticky sweetness that was honey!
Could that be the reason why Sophia called Albel 'honey bunny'?
Oh no… he was promptly sick all over the floor again. Gross, but the image in his head was undoubtedly worse.
Shakily, he got to his feet and stumbled down the corridor of the ship, in such a daze that he did not hear the hushed, whispers behind the looming door. The door was modelled in the old Earth fashion, in that it swung outwards and inwards, and had to be done so manually. But the idiotic bluenette didn't even notice.
"Peppita, you have to open the door now! C'mon kid, hurry!"
"But why? Why do I have to open the door?"
"Because the big lummox is probably too stupid to find the doorknob!"
There was a sharp thwack. "Roger, shut up!"
A sudden crunching noise and Cliff gave a strangled yell. "Fu- Roger, I'm gonna skin ya alive!"
"Why don't you shut your fat mouth, ya overgrown pea brain!"
With a sudden squeak of surprise, the Menodix fell silent as Cliff grabbed him in a stranglehold and clapped a meaty palm over his mouth. "Bite me and I'll make it so ya can never bite anything again," he warned and the Menodix glared sullenly at him, hanging motionless in his powerful grip.
Cliff paused as he heard the shuffling footsteps draw closer and closer… "Peppita, open the door!"
The door flew open and Fayt walked smack bang into it, actually bouncing off the thick metal. He collapsed with a groan and Peppita shrieked when she saw the bluenette fall. "Fayt! Fayt!"
"P-Peppita?" he mumbled.
"Oh Fayt, I'm really sorry, but Cliff made me open the door and I didn't know you were there, honest I didn't…?" she gasped as the blonde Klausian scooped her up and flung her over one shoulder.
"Time to go, kiddo."
A very surly Roger was hanging over his other shoulder, bound and gagged. Peppita began to beat with small fists on his muscled back but he ignored them both as he walked away from the semi conscious Fayt.
"Hey, lemme go! Lemme go, Cliff!" she shrieked angrily, twisting in his grip.
"Ugh…" Fayt moaned as he managed to roll over onto his back. What the hell had happened? Damn, he knew he should never have gotten out of bed this morning. Then again, he should have known. It was a Monday, after all. Bad things always happened to him on a Monday, it was a fact of life, but this was ridiculous.
As were the fluffy blue bunny slippers floating in front of his face.
Fayt leapt to his feet, his eyes widening to the point that they were almost as large as Sophia's and they fell on the bottle of honey in Albel's hand. He screamed.
"YAAAAH! HONEY BUNNY!"
Still screaming, Fayt tore down the corridor, ghastly images from the Internet flooding his mind.
Albel watched him running away like a lunatic with some amusement and satisfaction. God, he loved it when a plan came together.
"The picture's gonna cost ya extra, Albel."
Albel turned as Cliff, clutching a digital camera in one hand, emerged from the shadows where Peppita and Roger lay, bound and gagged.
"As long as you got the expression when he saw the honey, I'll pay whatever you want."
Peppita watched with round eyes as the men exchanged money and she began to make muffled noises that sounded like 'Fayt!'.
"By the way, Albel, why are you wearing bunny slippers?"
"They are warm," he replied loftily. "And they keep my feet clean."
"Uh-huh… what's the real reason?"
"They were a 'gift' from the girl… and she goes berserk if I don't wear them. I can't sleep in the same room as her when she sobs that 'you don't love me anymore' crap in my ear! Besides, she told me that these animals are considered very manly on Earth."
"Ah. I know what you mean. But, Albel… bunnies aren't very manly."
"These are bunnies?"
Back in her room, Sophia grinned evilly as she heard the strangled shriek from Albel. Yeah, she loved to mess with his head. She had been waiting for months to pay him back for the muffin scam he had pulled on her. Fayt was just the chump necessary to get what she wanted.
Ah yes, revenge was sweet. Sweeter than the first chocolate muffin of the morning.
Yup, Fayt's innocence was dead as a doornail. Finally. Along with Albel's dignity.
But now Sophia was in the mood for some more fun.
"Oh, honey bunny!"