Hey, everyone! This deviates (quite a bit) from the usual "Cracked-Out Adventures" – so I made it into a one-shot! For all of my "Adventures" readers, I have two in the works right now, I'm finally getting back on track! But I thought of this one while reading through all of the things people are writing in my yearbook (summer starts on the 26th! Woohoo! Almost done with school! As of this Friday, I will officially be a Senior! Yeeeeehaw!) Anyway, this one goes out to my pal Katy! Hahaa! Hopefully she's reading it… And for all of you who have no idea what in the world "Adventures" is… I'm very sorry… you are a deprived person, no? Please read and review! NO flames, unless from Roy! Hahahaa! (Yeah, that's getting old, but I don't care!)

I do not own FMA – and I'm not taking Spanish again next year… my schedule is too full (sob!)…

¿Ed se habla Español?

Edward sat in the break room at Central City Military Headquarters. He was thumbing through the pages of a book. He sighed. 'This book stinks,' he thought as he got up out of his chair. He pitched the book behind him onto a large heap of "stinky" books. It was raining outside, and while Alphonse was no doubt saving kittens, Ed couldn't think of anything to do. So, he decided to go through every single book he could get his little hands on. He picked one up; beautiful leather cover; gold-embossed pages; it was a handsome book, all right. 'This should be good!' Ed thought. He sat back down in the chair, propping his feet on the mountain of discarded books. He opened the book, and read the first sentence:

"Un día, Roberto Esperanza y su caballo Bob fue a un aldeano, dónde vivió un dragón terible…"

Edward blinked. "What the hell?" he asked, staring furiously at the book. "Is this thing… in Spanish…?" Ed continued to stare at it, muttering curses at it underneath his breath. Finally he quieted down and his anger subsided. He looked gloomily at the book's cover. He knew it wasn't the cover's fault for leading him and presenting to him a book written entirely in Spanish. He sighed. He had been so looking forward to finally being able to read something good for a change. He was about to toss the book to the stack under his feet when he looked across from him at the bookcase… there was nothing left on it but files and research documents. "Bleh…" Ed stuck his tongue out at the thought of being reduced to having to read documents and court cases in order to keep himself occupied. He looked back at the book in his hands. 'Ah, what the hell…' he thought as he leaned back into the chair and re-opened the leather-bound book. And he continued to read…

(Two hours later)

Edward slammed the book closed. "That," he said through gritted teeth as he flung the book at the far wall, "was the dumbest thing I have ever read!" Edward was fuming. The entire novel, all 200+ pages, had been about some sissy with a beard named Roberto Esperanza and his talking horse, Bob… they had gone to fight a dragon – Roberto screamed like a girl – Bob beat up the dragon with a stick – then the villagers made a bronze statue in the likeness of Roberto because they didn't believe that Bob could talk – and on, and on, and on to the point that Ed thought he was about to scream. In fact, he did scream…

"WHO THE HELL WRITES ALL OF THIS CRAP? WAS THAT AUTHOR ON CRACK, OR SOMETHING? GEEZ!" he shouted at the top of his lungs as he stormed his way out of the break room. Yet a more important question remains than, "Who the hell writes all of this crap? Was that author on crack, or something?" And it is this one: Since when the hell did Ed learn how to speak Spanish? 0o ?


Wahahahahaaa! How you like them apples? Hahaa! That is so cliché! Oooh, real quick, I'm just uploading this thing straight without really looking at it – I have no idea if the stress marks uploaded or not, so before you make some comment about how I didn't type words correctly, don't – because I really did. Well, hope you liked it! I really should start up a series of drabbles, eh? What do you guys think? Anyway, see you all soon! Please review:)