Hahaha! Hey, all! Oh, and before you get mad at me, please don't! Summer is almost over, I have a butt-load of summer reading left, and now I have band camp all next week from 8 am to 8 pm! So please don't get mad at me for my lack of postings! I know I'm behind on "The New FMA," and really, really behind on "Cracked-Out Adventures!" But in the meantime, here's a little something to keep all of you, my wonderous, glorious readers, occupied! A new "Misadventure!" And, to go along with it, a forum to go visit! Yes, readers, that's right! The very forum that inspired this story, you, yes, you, can go on-line and visit! Here's the web address! ... Ok, that didn't show up... umm... ok, broken down, here it is!

(standard triple "w's") 1-2-free-forums (then a "dot") com (then a "slash") heavensfire (then another "dot") html ... Yay!

It's awesome! Now, while I go out and sweat my ass off, sit in your cool, air-conditioned computer rooms and enjoy!

I do not own FMA - but have you read "It Takes Love to Live" and entered the contest yet?

Edward's Fun with Forums!

"Clackety-clackety-clackety-click-click-clack…" came the sound of keys being punched on a keyboard. Edward Elric sat in the office stoically, the bluish hue of light from the screen gently illuminating his face in the darkened room. The door opened slightly, and Colonel Roy Mustang stuck his head in. He silently watched the Fullmetal Alchemist type away at the computer for a minute before shaking his head and retreating back into the hallway, shutting the door behind himself.

Edward had been at the computer for days – literally. He only left to use the bathroom and get something to eat (which was actually quite often, but still…) Alphonse claimed that Edward was using the new device, built for Central's higher-ups in the Investigations Department by the Super-Secret Technology Department, to research the Philosopher's Stone… and everyone believed him – it was really very probable. But, filled with concern and worry for Edward's health, after a few days of constant typing, they all realized that they had no idea what Edward was really up to… No, not porn, you sickos, but something almost as bad – a public forum.

Yet, unbeknownst to everyone but Edward himself, Ed had joined a random forum, and had been communicating with other people who had also gotten hold of this wondrous and strange device, the computer. And even though he hated to admit it, he was hooked – completely, and totally hooked. Edward rubbed his bleary eyes. He hadn't seen real sunlight in days – he kept all of the windows shut so that he could better see the screen. He was about to get up and go to the cafeteria (yet again) when the computer bleeped – a member of the forum had just become active. So, deciding that food could wait, Ed decided to chat with the newcomer.

"'ShadowRed,' eh? Hmm… I've never heard of him, before…"

>'Hello, Fullmetal858! I'm ShadowRed! So, you're the famous Fullmetal Alchemist everyone keeps talking about?' the mystery person typed.

>'Yeah, I am… who are you?' Edward typed back.

>'Oh… Just a… fan…'

>'Really?'

>'Uh… yeah, sure…'

Edward paused, hands over the keyboard. Something was definitely wrong here… perhaps someone trying to steal his bank account number? Or perhaps…?

>'So… a fan, huh? I bet you like a lot of stuff about me then, huh?' Edward typed, a knowing smirk on his face. 'I'll bet it's that damned Mustang…' he thought.

>'Oh, yeah, tons of stuff! Like how you captured Barry the Chopper, and how you're the Hero of the People… All sorts of stuff!'

Edward grinned. "Roy, you bastard…"

>'So, then…' Edward typed, grinning evilly. 'I guess you know all about how much more well-known I am than some of my colleagues?'

>'Uh… sure, Ed, yeah… Of course I do! Um… which ones in particular?'

"Hahahaa!" Edward laughed. "I've got you now, Roy!"

>'Oh, you know, the Strong-Armed Alchemist, the Sewing-Life Alchemist… the Flame Alchemist…'

>'LOL! Yeah, you are pretty famous compared to them, aren't you?'

Edward blinked in surprise. "He admits it…?" Another evil grin (far more evil than the first) spread across his face. "I wonder what else I can get him to fess up to…"

>'So,' Edward typed to the "unknown" person, 'do you actually know the Flame Alchemist?'

>'Well, I know of him… In a manner of speaking…'

"Heh-heh-heh… All right, then, Roy – time for the fun to begin!"

>'Is that so?' Ed typed. 'Then, who do you think is the better looking of us two? Me, or the Flame?'

>'Oh, definitely you!'

"Really, now? Jeez, Mustang, you're making this easy!"

>'Ok, then, who do you think is the smarter one?'

>'Mr. Fullmetal, sir, honestly! That's also you!'

>'You think so?'

>'Oh, of course! Mr. Flame Alchemist has nothing on you!'

>'Really? So, then, who do you think gets the better-looking women?'

>'I didn't know that you went out with girls…'

Edward's face turned red.

>'So?' he typed furiously. 'That's not the point!'

>'Oh, sorry! Well, in that case, totally you!'

"There we go!" Edward breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm going to have to print this conversation! Next question!"

>'Alright, then, who's more manly?'

>'You!'

>'Who's more masculine?'

>'Isn't that the same question?'

>'Yes.'

>'You, then.'

>'Do you think that the Flame Alchemist is gay?'

>'Yeah, I – wait, what?'

>'I said, do you think that the Flame Alchemist is gay?'

>'Umm… I don't know… Why do you ask that?'

>'Well, because I think he is… I just wanted to know what you think…'

>''

>'Well…?'

>'Well, what?'

>'Do you think he's gay?'

>'Uhh… sure…?'

"Wahahahaaa! Roy, you are so going to regret this!" Edward shouted manically as he read the response on the illuminated computer screen.

>'Mr. Fullmetal, sir?'

>'Yeah?' Edward typed, trying to contain his mirth.

>'Can I ask you a question now?'

>'Yeah, sure, go ahead!'

Edward rubbed his hands together in anticipation. If this really was Roy (which he knew it was), then Mustang would try to get back at him now in any way possible… but he wasn't about to fall for any of that

>'Is it true that you're short?'

Ed froze. He stared at the screen. A minute of tense silence passed by…

>'WHO'S SO SMALL THEY COULD BE BLACK HAYATE'S BITCH!' Edward banged out furiously on the keyboard, his face red and his head steaming.

The computer bleeped.

>'ShadowRed has signed off.'

"WHAT! MUSTANG, GET BACK HERE, YOU BASTARD!" Edward shouted as he tore out of the darkened room and sprinted down the hallway.

"What is it, Ed? Are you finally done with that computer?" Mustang asked as he watched Ed race towards him. "Or are you… WHAT THE HELL!" he screamed as he saw the blood-curdling look glaring in Edward's eyes. Mustang ran down the hallway like a bat out of hell, Edward screeching and cursing after him.

But Edward, chasing after a very frightened, very confused Roy Mustang, failed to notice the large, snickering suit of armor running out of the new computer lab and down the hall in the opposite direction…

So, what did you all think? Hopefully you don't mind that I didn't use "computer speech" - I find it very distracting... so the only "computer lingo" that's in this, I think, is the "LOL!" Anyway... Hope you all appreciated that!... There was also supposed to be those little carrot thingies in front of each "post," but for some reason the site doesn't like those... sigh... so I had to put them all back in by hand... double-sigh... Well, please review! I hope you liked it! Oh, and you don't have to be a member to review! Guests are welcomed, too! See you all real soon!