"I've got a wife now, a baby on the way." Jimmy was standing outside Kirsten's house, his hair wet in the rain, eyelashes encrusted with jewel droplets. Kirsten stared at him, uncomprehending.
"You're the only one that can screw it up for me." He continued. Again, she was perplexed, confused about why he'd show up, after all this time, all this space that had finally built up between them.
"What…? Jimmy, I only want you to be happy." Kirsten's hair shimmered under the light, and his eyes alighted on it, taking in the golden waves, the way they brushed tan shoulders, her delicate collarbones. He remembered kissing her flesh, feeling her move beneath him, looking down into blue eyes, feeling like he was the luckiest guy in the world.
"I know. And I'm happiest with you." Kirsten sighed, leant into the door. There was a sudden boom of thunder, a clap of lightning that made them both jump. Kirsten looked out into the threatening night and shivered involuntarily. He remembered that she hated storms, usually had them stay indoors, under the covers. Remembered they'd both undress and just hold each other, safe in a lover's embrace.
"I just need to know…" Jimmy looked past Kirsten, trying not to meet her eyes, knowing they'd make him falter more, make him want to stay. The interior was comfortable looking. He could see a leather jacket that was obviously not hers hanging on a peg near the stairs. He didn't want to imagine the man who went with the jacket; some tall, intense, blonde, rich example of perfection, of what he needed to be to be with Kirsten. What he couldn't hope to become.
Her silence encouraged him to continue and he looked away from the torturous domesticity, back to those haunting, luminous blue eyes.
"I need to know there's no chance for us. No chance for anything to happen." Kirsten sighed again, and he felt it through the marrow of his bones, that perfect exhalation that shifted and swirled the air around her, moved it closer to him. He almost inhaled on the strength of that thought, almost tried to make their worlds meet, but was interrupted by her shaking head.
"Jimmy… It's been over for too long. We're different-" He cut her off, his words feeling course over the top of her dulcet tone.
"I will love you, no matter what. It's you, Kirsten. It's always been you." Feeling reckless, Jimmy purged the space between them to capture her hand in his own, feeling the silky flesh, the perfect pads of her fingers alight onto his palm. She curled her fingers, and they whispered over his life line, his heart line, thrilling his spine, making his breath involuntarily catch in his chest, like a fluttering bird. Then it was gone, her hand slipping away from his, from the rainy night back to the safety of the lit doorway.
"It's not you anymore, Jimmy." Her arm reached out to him pulled him out of the downpour into her circle of warmth as her lips, those full, curvaceous lips he'd tried to kiss as much as he could, that he still dreamt about kissing, floated briefly over his cheek, leaving the faintest lip gloss impression on his stubble. All too soon he was released from her, stumbling back slightly into the rain, ignoring the droplets that trailed down his back, thinking only of her lips on his cheek, her hand in his. Wanting her to reach out again, kiss him on his lips, let him come out of the rain into her house, into her life.
Instead, she smiled sadly at him, those wonderful lips curving up at the edges, the expression never making it to her eyes. He was watching her lips as she spoke, and the words reached him after he watched them move, mouth the words he'd wanted to hear the least.
"Goodbye, Jimmy." She disappeared around the doorway, closing the heavy door on him, becoming nothing more than a silhouette retreating down an empty hallway.
Jimmy stood a moment, drenched, dejected, grief struck. He curled the hand she'd so recently made contact with, insulating her touch from the rain. His cheek was already wet, had been sodden when she'd kissed him. Jimmy turned and ran from the doorway, across the sopping lawn to his car. Jumping in, his fiancée turned to him, grabbed his hand.
"I just felt a kick," she said to him, making him uncurl his fingers to spread them on her taut stomach. In the moments between his hand resting over his unborn child, and him taking it back to start the car and drive them away, Jimmy hoped some small elegance, some portion of grace, some figment of beauty had passed between his growing daughter, and his ex-lover- the woman he still loved.
In the passenger seat, she shifted, this woman he had ended up with, trying to find a comfortable position to ease the pressure on her back. He could have reached out to her, moved his hand over, grasped hers. Instead, his hand found its way up to his cheek, to where the effect of her lips still tingled. In time, he knew this would fade. He knew the repeated feeling of her perfect fingers curling in his palm would, too, fade. He wasn't sure if the image of her in the half light, the perfect silhouette backlit, untouched by the rain, bejewelled anyway… He wasn't sure if this could fade as quickly. Looking across to his red haired companion, her inexpensive clothes, her skin less smooth, eyes untouched by the ocean's colour, Jimmy let out a sigh himself. There was nothing he could do but accept it, and look ahead to the next times their paths would cross. She and her leather-jacket wearing stud. He and his new family. Jimmy pushed the accelerator further down, ignoring the protests coming from the passenger seat. The faster he lived out the future, the sooner he could see her again.
I'm not sure what this is, or if there's going to be any more. It came about with a sentence just coming into my head; "You're the only one that can screw it up for me." And the rest kind of wrote itself. What can I say; I love the Kirsten/Jimmy back story. If you liked this, please consider reading other, similar fics of mine; This Guilt or The Deception. Ooh, and please review!