Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Well, here comes chapter 3. Hope you guys aren't angry… I've hit what you would call a slump. Hope you guys are entertained with this piece until further notice.

My Hips Don't Lie Baby

Ah, wasn't this absolutely refreshing? The birds were singing, the wind was blowing, and the frogs were leaping from one lily pond to another in the joy that was the season of spring. Of course, that could only mean one thing: more singing from our favorite ninjas! So, anyways, it was a wonderful spring afternoon, and the world was a better place because it was spring? Why? Because it was spring, that's why. What? Doesn't that sentence make sense? Because I am sure it actually did make sense, more or less, about sixty percent sense…

So, anyways! Dear readers, it was a sunny afternoon in Konoha. A sunny Sunday afternoon! Which meant that people were just being lazy, lazy and even more… lazy! Ah, don't you just love the sixth deadly sin? Because I sure do! The delight in just sitting down in your hammock slurping away and eating my cherries and ice creams! Ah, so much that this is not the case of the particular group of aspiring teenage ninjas that were collectively known as the Rookie Twelve… plus Sai! They were all sat around a coffee house, owned by none other than the Academy leacher everyone hated to hate and loved to love; Umino Iruka! Aw, now who doesn't like Umino Iruka? No one? Good.

The coffee shop was known collectively as the Keiko Memorial Teahouse (which we do not know why it is called a Teahouse, since it is so much more a caffeine-filled den of pleasure and staying up past midninght), in memory of a certain whale that Iruka had taken a particular liking to when he was a little child… and got killed in the Kyuubi attack.

Poor, poor Keiko.

So anyways, the shop was owned and run by Umino Iruka, who opened the shop from eight in the moening, to five in the evening. It was one of his greater ideas (in the Chuunin Instructor's head anyways), and he was earning quite a bit of money to boot! Hell, he was making almost twice his salary from the coffee profits alone! The coffee shop Keiko was Iruka's pride and joy! And he had the thanks go to his very very good friend Ebisu, who is more commonly known by Naruto as "Glasses-Hentai", or something or other. So, Iruka had a coffee bar, several sets of tables and chairs in which he could serves guests on, plants stacked here and there in pots near windows, to add serenity to the place, and to top it off, a ceiling painting of Iruka's favourite whale as a child; Keiko!

Hand-painted by Jiraiya himself.

Oh, and for last; there was a recently installed stage… a very big stage; fit for and auditorium-whatchamacallit.

In due time… the stage was going to be lit aflame with talent; looks, and of course, more flashy stuff.

"This is one sorry excuse for a Sunday afternoon." Tenten moaned, slumping in her chair as she sat around the table of young kunoichis; Hinata, Ino and herself. "We could be doing something productive at this very moment! Like-"

"Bargain-shopping?" Hinata offered, and Tenten raised her head. "Um… guy-watching?"

"Guy-watching is so old." Ino rolled her eyes, taking a sip from her java soon after, "I'd much rather go sleep."

"Shikamaru's habit rubbing off ya, huh?" Tenten offered with a grin, and earning a playful glare from the blonde.

"Probably is; I have been around him for a good… what? Three years? It's only natural." Ino shrugged.

"True, true, but you don't see me shouting about the Flames of Youth every now and then." Tenten cocked her head one side.

"Or freezing people with a look." Ino said, making the shy and timid Hinata giggle, "Seriously, though."

"Ano, I think that picking up people's habits can be a good thing." Hinata offered, smiling ever so slightly.

"You're talking about the good habits, Hinata." Ino said, "Would you really want to pick up one of Kiba's bad ones?"

The young Hyuuga heiress had a sudden image of her clad in leather and an evil laugh, standing atop a mountain and bats surrounding her as she watched the village of Konoha burn to the ground.

And on a leash held by her was Kiba, clad in Tarzan-styled clothes and begging.

Bad, bad Hinata.

"Ah, I guess picking up people's habits isn't actually that bad." Tenten said, "Like, let's say, Naruto's guts."

"Ooh! Chouji's kindness!" Ino offered, slapping her hand onto the table, "And Sai's charm!"

"Sai? Charming?" Tenten raised an eyebrow, looking at Ino as if she was mentally down for the count.

"What? He is." Ino sighed, cupping her cheeks and blushing embarrassedly, "He called me gorgeous when we met!"

"That could have originated from the fact that you were wearing your skimpy kunoichi uniform."

Ino pouted, huffing and crossing her arms across her chest, making Tenten giggle ever so slightly as the older girl grinned at the blonde kunoichi. Ah, so the Sunday was not such a boring afternoon after all! You could chat with you friends to get rid of the boredom! Now, why didn't they think of that sooner?

"Say what you want. I still think that Sai is such a charming guy!" Ino sighed.

"Uhuh; sure he is." Tenten rolled her eyes, muttering, "And Neji is Mr Personality of the Millenium; doy."

Tenten's attention then came to a waiter that approached them, a cup of cappuccino safely in his tray, and a wide grin on his face. Hey, he wasn't exactly such a bad-looking guy too! Curly hair, glasses, a cute smile. Not so much Neji, but still quite a cute guy. Tenten was reminded of a puppy; a very very adorable puppy.

"Your cappuccino, Miss." The guy smiled… CUTELY!

"Ah, thank you." Tenten flashed a smile of her own, and the guy left the table of three kunoichi.

"What a way to go into the afternoon." Ino stretched herself, turning to Hinata. "Hinata? You okay?"

"Ano… yes. Things have just been rather slow lately."

"You can say that again."

"Things have just been rather slow lately." Ino said, teasing Tenten.

Hinata smiled at her two friends, before looking around, her eyes widening in sudden realization.

"Ano… has anyone seen Sakura?"


Uchiha Sasuke was not a happy camper. Not that he was at any point in his teenage life a happy camper, anyways. Here he was, sitting with the males of the Rookie Twelve plus Sai, drinking from his good earl tea. Of course, predictably, he was sitting between two of the members of the Rookies that he disliked the most.

"ONE MORE OOLONG TEA!" came the shouted replied the bowl-cut boy; Rock Lee… ANNOYINGLY!

"…" came the reaction of the stoic Hyuuga Neji. It was hard to differentiate whether he was annoyed or just… quiet.

"You know the weekends are starting to become the death of us…" Shikamaru said, his chin lying upon the surface of the wooden table that the males were seated upon. "What? It is going to be the death of us all. I mean, we got nothing to do, we got no entertainment, but most of all…"

"Naruto's catching the eye of every woman in Konoha." Sasuke and Sai said unanimously, sighing into their cups.

"I sometimes wonder just how the heck did that guy get so popular with all those chicks. I mean, it's just not friggin' natural!" Kiba complained, slamming his closed fist upon the wooden table, causing it to shake, and ultimately, dump a whole friggin' cupful of extremely hot tea, onto a rather… unreactive Akimichi Chouji. Sasuke had a vision of a rather fat chicken being boiled in his mother's cooking pot. He would not know why he did, but he did. And so, Chouji's lap was halfway boiled with the tea, and of course, being sensitive to pain, he ended up leaping off his seat. Screaming in anguish. "Whoa! Sorry there, big guy!" Chouji was deaf to his surroundings, screaming in pain. "Is it that painful?"

"The tea is cooking his groin, Kiba." came Shino's answer, as Chouji rolled around the ground. He looked like a ball.

"Oh." Kiba turned red, embarrassed and sorry at the same time. He looked at the rolling Chouji. "Er… ouch."

"KIBA! IF I DON'T HAVE KIDS I AM SO GOING TO COOK YOU FOR DINNER!" came the anguished call, making the teahouse rock on its foundations as Sasuke held onto the table for support.

Sai sighed, and taking the initiative, took a jug of cold water from the waiter that had served Tenten and the girls, and had proceeded to pour its contents over Akimichi Chouji, who had released his gargantuan hands from his groin, and had stopped rolling, opting for a rather pleasing, and to most of the guys, disturbing, expression.

"Sai, I could kiss you so much right now." Chouji smiled. Sai didn't return it.

"Don't Although I may seem like it, I am not a homosexual." Sai replied seriously, sipping his tea.

Yaoi fangirls all-round drooped their heads in disappointment. And some of them even sobbed openly, looking to the Almighty One above, questioning the eternal question; "Why were the good ones always straight?". Uchiha Sasuke, however, took this as an opportunity to take a shot at the adolescent male, smirking the Devil's smirk in his direction.

"Heh, smart words, coming out of the voice of a guy that has such a… feminine disposition." Sasuke said.

Sai stopped in mid-drink, his closed eyes finding Uchiha Sasuke's coal ones. Neji fought the urge to hit a challenge gong. Kiba looked at Sai, who seemed to be at a lost for words. Shino merely raised an eyebrow in Sasuke's direction.

"You would know, wouldn't you? After all, you're the one that displays such girly looks, Uchiha." Sai shot back.

Neji smirked ever so slightly, enjoying the banter that was going on… EVILLY! He was finally going to have the spotlight of "Dark, Cold and Angsty" of Konoha once these two had killed each other off. Therefore, all the women would swoon over him! Yes! And soon, he would have his harem of women, and all of them would have girls! And he was going to name them all Neji Junior! Boy, that felt evil!

"Your oolong tea, sir." A waiter came, with Lee's hot tea in his tray, "Enjoy."

"Thank you, waiter-san! May youth bless you!" Lee said, swiping the tea from the tray, and the waiter was off back to the kitchen, or counter, or whatever that thingy was called. "Ah, there's nothing like some good oolong tea."

As Sasuke and Sai glared at each other, Lee happily sipped his tea, glad that for once, he had a beverage to make him happy! YOSH! Now, just like Naruto, he would-

Hey, wait just a second. Something wasn't right here…

Where was Naruto?


Hatake Kakashi was always a patient man. A bit perverted, but nonetheless, an extremely patient man. However, his patience was wearing thin at the current moment, namely because the thing that his patience was being tested with was the one single bane of his existence; the one and only Maito Gai, the Taijutsu Genius of Konohagakure no Sato. Kakashi was very tempted to use the Chidori right then and there, and if not for the incredibly annoying bantering of Gai, he would have remembered the handseals required. Blast that ability of his!



"HOW UNYOUTHFUL OF YOU TO NOT ACCEPT THIS INVITATION, MY RIVAL!" Gai bellowed once more, and Kakashi was beginning to lose the threads of his very sanity.

Kakashi looked around, for anything that would make him be rid of this thing that was tearing away at his mind. He found nothing of use, and in a flash, found himself staring at Baki and Asuma. Somehow, those two had gotten ahold of a pair of earplugs. Someohow; just somehow…

Kakashi began to cry, knowing that it would be useless to resist. He would fall anyway…

But Hell be damned if he was going to go down without a fight! He was the Copy Ninja Hatake Kakashi! He would get through this. He had trained three brats into… semi-good ninjas… right? Yeah! And he also had the famed one thousand Jutsus in his arsenal right? Right!

He was Hatake Kakashi! Number one and would always emerge triumphant, no matter what the odds!

Was he going to bow down to this thing that stood before him?


And so, that, my friends, is how Hatake Kakashi succumbed to the Flames of Youth.

May God have mercy upon his soul.


If one took a look at the table where Yuuhi Kurenai, Mitarashi Anko, Tsunade the Godaime, Shizune and Suzume were sitting, one would think that they were having some sort of staring contest. Well, they would be three-fifths correct, because, at the moment, three of the five women were caught in a glaring contest with each other. The three were (as if you wouldn't already know), Tsunade, Kurenai and Anko. Having a three-way glaring contest.

"Honestly, how long are you three going to keep at this?" Suzume voiced, sounding like the adult she was.

"Until this psycho stops trying to take Naruto away from me!" came Tsunade's reply, her eyes so furious one would think that she could melt diamonds and steel with her glare. Of course, she was staring at Mitarashi Anko.

"All's fair in love and war, Hokage-sama." Anko gave a predator's grin, provoking the older woman to just try and take a swing at her. "I don't think that I'll ever see you two together, anyways, that kawaii Naruto with you? Please."

"Well, that would stake my claim on him, then. I, after all, was the first to date him. It's blatantly obvious that he likes me over the two of you." Kurenai gave a proud smirk, crossing her arms, only to come under the full force of the glares that the two women projected. "We even kissed that night. That so puts me in the lead, ne?" she teased the two.

"Why don't you just go and flirt with Asuma, bimbo?" Tsunade burned, and Kurenai gritted her teeth in anger.

"Why don't you just go ahead and live happily ever after with you perverted sennin, hmm?" Kurenai shot back.

Tsunade's glare intensity rose up several notches. Title be damned! Naruto was hers, God damn it! She was the first of this females to notice him once he turned fourteen. She was the one that had saved Naruto! HELL! She was the first one among the women to actually kiss him. Granted, that was with platonic feelings, but still! There was a friggin' point here! She was here first! He was hers! Hers I tell you!

And may the title of Hokage be damned if she won't get her man.

"He is mine." Tsunade rose from her chair, leaning over one hand and glaring triumphantly at her subordinates.

"I don't see your name on him! He's as much mine as he is yours!"

"You mean mine. I was the first one among you to get a date with him. He even kissed me!"

"You mean you kissed him."

"He invited me over for dinner! And he cooked too!" Kurenai went on, smirking as the two women sported disbelieving looks. So, she decided to stretch it just a bit more, "And Hell, was he good in bed!"

Dignity be damned, Tsunade leapt across the table and pounced on Kurenai, and engaged in an all-out catfight. Shizune tried miserably to calm the two kunoichis down, as they clawed, hair-tugged, and that times, attempted to rip each other's clothes off.

Anko, not one to let loose her claim on the kawaii no kitsune (or so, goes his title), jumped in on the catfight. Which, of course, lasted only so long until the bouncers (Morino Ibiki's cousins from his father's side), pried the women away from each other, and made them sit down, shut up, and drink their goddamn tea.

But of course, that would only mean one thing.

A cold and silent three-way war for the heart of Uzumaki Naruto, and whatever else was attached to it.

No rules…

No limits…

To borrow a quote, "No man is luckier than the one who has three hot chicks after him."

…Damn you, Naruto.


Gaara was bored.

"I am bored."



"Find me a woman."

Kankurou cried manly tears.


Behind the curtains of the stage that Iruka had built for his teahouse, two figures were talking to each other quietly, and rapidly. If one could distinguish them, one was a male, presumably within the stages of early adolescence, and a female, who was probably going through the same phase.

"Wow, do you see the crowd out there?" the female went, taking a peek from behind the curtains.

"I sure do; boy, this is gonna be so much fun." The male went on, getting all giddy.

"You think very strangely."

"Strange minds think great things." The male puffed, proud and holier than thou.

"They also think weird things." She mumbled to herself afterward, "And to think, I liked you…"

"Hm? What was that?" the male could be seen grinning. "You like me?"

"Ah!" she was blushing now. "I mean liked!"

"Okay, you two; you're both on in thirty seconds." Iruka had come, a headphone on, with a microphone attached to the set, clad in his Keiko Memorial Teahouse t-shirt, giving an 'okay' signal.

"Yosh! Let's steal the show!"

"You're the only act I got on."


Silence reigned…


Inuzuka Kiba took a sip out of his tea, leaning against his chair as he sat with the guys, comfortable and slightly wary of the fact that Chouji was glaring at him every chance the big-boned boy got. Kiba, every now and then, shifted his legs so that they would be well-protected against any possible assault that Chouji could have on them. Baika no Jutsu, Bubun Baika, anything that could come his way. Chouji could break down a whole fortress by himself, if given the right motivation, and of course, revenge upon another man's manhood was perfect motivation.

Kiba just hoped he could outrun Chouji when the boy went for his blood and guts, or in this case, his manhood.

In the midst of his thoughts, suddenly (by a good camouflage job), confetti cannons were revealed, shooting… confetti (DUH!) into the air, full of bright colours and such, giving a boom of cheery atmosphere to the otherwise boring day.

Trumpet music began to play throughout the teahouse area, as if announcing the arrival of royalty. Kiba recognized the sound as a southern trumpet, and was bewildered to have heard one after such a long time. These were old school instruments!

Suddenly, the stage curtains were moved, revealing none other than Uzumaki Naruto, clad in a white suit and a matching white hat, a black undershirt, and no tie in sight. The trumpet continued to play, and some of the females in the crowd that watched with interest blushed at how damn good the boy looked in a suit. He grinned to the audience, taking a bow, as the trumpet played.

Another set of curtains were gone behind Naruto, a background painting of a sunset in all it's glory was there, as well as several other men, all of them having musical instruments in their hands, and clad in the same way as Naruto, except that they were dressed in a more formal style than Naruto, although the style remained true to itself.

Naruto grinned to the audience, as a microphone was tossed his way, which he caught by the pole. And with one last look, he spoke into it, with a thick tone, very much unlike what the Rookie Twelve was used to hearing.

Ladies up in here tonight,
No fighting, no fighting,

We got the refugees up in here,

No fighting, no fighting,

He cast one look to the side of the stage, grinning all the while, and the audience, confused, followed his direction of turn, and all males went into a tate of shock at the words he uttered next.

Sakura, Sakura,

And lo and behold! Haruno Sakura appeared, dressed like an Egyptian belly dancer, in the most revealing and imaginative clothes man could create in their minds; a red set of belly dancer clothes, tight and constricting, Her shoulder-length pink hair was like a halo, shaping her adorable face into a seductive and youthful visage. Tsunade's jaw drop; Sakura was as pretty as her! Sakura grinned at the audience, as the males jaws dropped.

And once more, the males cursed the existence of Uzumaki Naruto. Including me.

I never really knew that she could dance like this,
She makes a man want to speak Spanish,

Sakura approached Naruto, grinning like a cat, flaunting her rather shapely hips to him and the audience as she danced around him, like a snake that was circling its pray. Kakashi gaped as he watched his former students on the stage, unable to get it clear in his head that Haruno Sakura was going to turn into a fine woman.

With those hips, she could conquer the world.

"I know I should have spent more attention on Sakura," the open pervert sobbed into his arms, as Asuma consoled him, finally having removed his earplugs.

"There, there, Kakashi; look on the bright side; she's almost legal!" Asuma grinned.

Kakashi grinned under his facemask. YES! Only five-hundred more days till she's sixteen!

Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa,
Sakura, Sakura,

Naruto turned to his partner, who had twirled into his arms as her lines began, she took the mic from Naruto, smiling in that sexy demeanor of hers. Most of the audience were reminded of a mischievous vixen, if one could brand her. Hinata was blushing; from embarrassment and of course, from her own jealous feelings. Ino's jaw had dropped to the ground.

There was no way in Hell that she would have thought those two would get together.

Oh baby when you talk like that,
You make a woman go mad,

Sakura pulled out a scarf from somewhere, which, to be noted, was actually around five feet in length, and could be argued to be around four feet in length, and of course, made of high quality silk. She twirled around in it, wrapping it around her body for good measure, resulting in her wandering into the fantasies of some of the Rookie Twelve members present at the teahouse.

She showed her back to the audience, the slightly pale skin on her back only increasing the allure that she had.

So be wise and keep on,
Reading the signs of my body,

She, somehow, wrapped the cloth around her two wrists, making it to look as though she was vulnerable, easily taken, and in all rights, available, to the male audience that had presented themselves at Iruka's teahouse. Some of the male civilians that were present visibly swallowed and felt their clothes grow three sizes too small.

And their pants felt as though they were eight sizes too small.

The girls would wonder how in the world Haruno Sakura had that affect on the guys that were present at the moment.

And I'm on tonight,
You know my hips don't lie,
And I'm starting to feel it's right,

Sakura spun around with her scarf, letting the sun soak up the red of her clothes (or Almost clothes, depending on your view), and make her look as though she was a woman of fire, aggressive and alluring, just as the older kunoichi were.

And through it all, Naruto just grinned, taking of his hat and throwing it to the audience, where one of the female civilians present caught it, squealing something about "he really loves me!" and something incoherent. To Naruto's ears anyway. He spun around, and came face-to-face with his teammate, who had a hand on his chance, her voice low and sensual.

All the attraction, the tension,
Don't you see baby, this is perfection,

There was a pause, and, as if in slow motion, Sakura handed Naruto the microphone, before grinning and pulling away, adopting a still look as she danced in one spot, her hips moving so slowly… so sensually… her shoulders bunching up and down like they were meant to…

Naruto grinned ever so slightly, some of his hair covering one eye, making him look more like a predator than anything.

And Haruno Sakura was to be his prey.

Hey Girl, I can see your body moving,
And it's driving me crazy,

Naruto took several steps towards Sakura, his steps looking as though they were like a tiger's waiting to pounce upon the unsuspecting deer that was passing by. Sakura backed away slowly, like a snake, recoiling back after the first strike.

Hyuuga Neji's face was livid. How could Uzumaki Naruto, of all people, be so lucky with the girls of the ninja world. It just wasn't fair! He had the looks! The charm! The super-angsty background that would make every woman want to bow down and scream "Take me! " What was it about Uzumaki Naruto that just made him so darn appealing towards the females of Konoha? And, not forgetting, the one from Suna.

"Damn it, why does he get all the girls! It's just not fair!" Neji banged his head onto the wooden table.

Miraculously, nothing spilled onto anybody's lap and groin, so therefore, there would be no revenge shticks!

And I didn't have the slightest idea,
Until I saw you dancing,

Naruto approached, Sakura, taking her by the waist and pulling her closer. Sakura had leaned back a little, using the blonde's hand for support, and Naruto, for some time, was embarrassed? Why? Because; Sakura had one knee between his legs.

One damned sexy leg between his legs. Yup; God was finally paying off what was due.

And when you walk up on the dance floor,
Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl,

Naruto pressed Sakura up against his chest, or it seemed like it. In reality, Sakura had forced herself onto Naruto's chest, in a move that made it just look like Naruto was doing the work. Naruto, undistracted (miraculously, in any case, since most males would right there and then, lose self control over themselves), proceeded to dance with Sakura, and move slightly away from her, as the band behind them played again.

And everything's so unexpected - the way you right and left it,
So you can keep on taking it,

Naruto moved away from a now grinning Sakura, and had proceeded to continue with his lyrics, giving her a very small smile of apology as he did. Not that Sakura cared; she was positively enjoying this experience!

Naruto brought the mic close to his lips, swaying to the ensuing beat as the audience began to get loose and do dances in their own seats, and some of them had even come up to the floor just before the stage, and began to dance with heir partners, or in most of the female's case, friends. So what if it was Sunday? This greatly compensated for that fact!

I never really knew that she could dance like this,
She makes a man want to speak Spanish,
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa,
Sakura, Sakura,

Sakura swiped the mic away from Uzumaki Naruto, and began her lines once more, but not before giving the audience a cat-like grin of pure bliss and happiness.

Oh boy, I can see your body moving,
Half animal, half man,
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing,
But you seem to have a plan,

Sakura was greeted with Naruto, jumping between her and the audience, who, by the looks of things, had appeared to have finally broken loose on a Sunday afternoon. Hell, even Chouji was out there on the floor doing his thing with a civilian female; not that Naruto knew who it was. However, two, no, make that three, of the Rookie Twelve males were not on the dance floor with their other males.

Uchiha Sasuke, the Sharingan Genius, Hyuuga Neji, the Byakugan Genius and Sai, who was… Sai.

My will and self restraint,
Have come to fail now, fail now,
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know,
That's a bit too hard to explain,

Sakura threw the mic in Naruto's direction, and he caught it with one hand, and turned to the audience, as Haruno Sakura danced her way around him, circling him once more. This time, it took Naruto almost all his willpower to stay in his spot and keep the act up.

Baila en la calle de noche,
Baila en la calle de dia,

Sakura then twirled into Naruto, and the both of the spoke into the mic, their eyes reflecting pure bliss and nothing else, with their lips barely away from each other, and of course, barely away from the mic.

Once more, the patrons that were watching the show, cursed the existence of the microphone, to be able to take the attention of the performers just like that.

Baila en la calle de noche,
Baila en la calle de dia,

Sakura pushed Naruto away lightly, before giving him a personal dance, causing the Bloodline Geniuses to flare up and glare at the stage. Naruto had always gotten lucky! This was injustice! This was not fair! This was truly not fair! This couldn't be fair! You know why? Because Sasuke and Neji were getting nothing.

Damn you, dobe, how could you hook up with such a hot chick? Damn you, Sasuke cursed, Sharingan spinning.

Of course, dear Uchiha Sasuke, if you had just stuck around and tried to communicate with Sakura back in the day, you could have been in naruto's position right now. But instead, you have to now sit back and enjoy the consequences that you brought over yourself. Ah, what sweet irony.

Now it was Sasuke who was chasing after Sakura, who was chasing after Naruto.

Wait, make that a hot Sakura.

Naruto smirked ever so slightly, bringing the mic close to his lips as Sakura began to dance like the belly dancer she was, hips gyrating, shoulders pumping, chest heaving… the works! Man, and to think that she wasn't even legal yet! But of course, Sakura, was first and foremost his friend, and he thought of her as that.

Too bad Tsunade, Kurenai and Anko didn't.

I never really knew that she could dance like this,

She makes a man want to speak Spanish,

Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa,
Sakura, Sakura,

"That is some poor Spanish." Gaara said, watching the proceedings.

His brother and sister only nodded in response.

Sakura was given the microphone, and she sang into it, looking all the while at Naruto, who had one hand in the pockets of his pants, watching Sakura move as she sang the lyrics like a true singer.

Oh baby when you talk like that,
You know you got me hypnotized,
So be wise and keep on,
Reading the signs of my body,

Of course, upon Naruto's attention being taken by another female, the three kunoichis that supposedly formed Naruto's love-square, were faced with a problem. And a lot of negative emotions.

Like… envy.

You think you have him, do you, Sakura? Just you wait! Just you wait! I am soooo going to snatch him, thought the blonde Hokage, watching the proceedings with a… disturbingly evil look on her face…


Ehehehe, you may have won this battle, but you haven't won the war, Kurenai cackled evilly in her mind, smirking the Devil's smirk as she leaned against her chair.

Must… kill… pinky… must… I don't think you'll need an explanation on who said that… Anko, duh!

Naruto sang his next lyrics, grinning his fox-grin as he did so, looking at Sakura.

Señorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Konoha,

The trumpet went with its solo, and Sakura twirled around with her silk scarf, smiling her Mona Lisa smile as she did so, catching the curiousity (and perverted visions) of quite a few males. It was a definite turn-on.

Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi, say it!
Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi,

The audience followed the lyrics, and most of the males followed Sakura's moves, dancing to the beat of the music. She twirled back into Naruto's arms, and handed him th mic, which he sang into next, his voice adopting the tone and deepness of a rapper, which proved to the women that he was all the more appealing.

Even Sakura.

She's so sexy every man's fantasy,
A refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country,

I go back like when 'pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty,

"Those lyrics definitely do not make sense." Shikamaru said, not that nybody was listening.

Hell, they were too busy dancing.

I need a whole club dizzy
Why the ANBU wanna watch us?
Nukenins and runaways,
I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction,
No more we do snatch ropes,
Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats,

Naruto felt a tug around his neck and looked down to see Sakura pulling down on him, with her scarf around his neck, the smooth silk causing a somewhat tickling sensation throughout his body. It made his collar seem three sizes smaller.

That was not a good sign.

Even so, he held his ground.

Sakura, being mischievous, took the mic right out of Naruto's hands, and sang her next lyrics, moving her body in that fashion that made men so entranced by her.

Even the male Jounins.

I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie,
And I'm starting to feel you boy,
Come on let's go, real slow,
Baby, like this is perfecto,

Sakura then, did the unexpected, and in one swift motion, she used her strength, and pushed Uzumaki Naruto onto the ground, and proceeded to bend down slowly, in such a motion that the present females felt their jaws drop.

Oh, you know I'm on tonight and my hips don't lie,
And I'm starting to feel it's right,

Sakura bent down upon her teammate, hovering over him, one of her legs between his legs as she laid on top of him, one arm to support her weight, and the other holding the microphone, as her pink hair fell forwards, covering some of her face. Her breath was warm, and she was so full of energy that she could just…

He felt Sakura's knee caressing his… thing.

Oh God.

She whispered the next lyrics into Naruto's ear, bringing the mic close to her lips so that everyone would here it as well.

The attraction, the tension,
Baby, like this is perfection,

She looked to the audience, some of her hair having fallen forwards, and licked her lips in an Anko-like fashion.

No fighting

The curtains closed, and the audience erupted into cheers, applauding loudly and whistling and shoting for an encore.

And that was that.


Naruto was blushing so hard one would think that he could have lit a room. Haruno Sakura, however, was grinning all-out at him; from dominance or joy he would not know.

Not that he wanted to know.

"Come on, Naruto, can't you take a joke?" Sakura giggled as Naruto turned twenty shades redder.

"Sakura, you practically… er… you know!" Naruto was so bright red, it was cute in Sakura's eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I know what I did, but seriously, you would think that hanging out with Tsunade-shishou would give you some exposure." Sakura grinned, before playing with one of her outfit's straps, licking her lips, "Or did she?"

Naruto turned even darker, if one could see, and he promptly backed away slightly. At that moment, the door opened, revealing Tsunade, with a smile on her face, challenging and strong; Sakura replied with an identical look.

"I won't lose Naruto-kun to you."

"Same here."

And when Kurenai and Anko came in, Naruto knew his Fate was sealed.

Poor, poor Naruto…

Or should we say Lucky?

A/N: I AM EXHAUSTED! falls unconscious onto keyboard, snoring. Oh, and please tell me which two people you want to sing next chapter. Remember; Naruto has to be involved in some way. He doesn't have to sing; so please, details. Oh, and for those agsty-rock songs with heavy metal sounds? I ain't writing 'em. Good night.