Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½. I don't own any fictional person place or thing used in this story. I don't own any real person place or thing used in this story. The story it's self is mine however.
AN: I am so going to get flamed for this story, but it wouldn't leave me alone.
Summery: Fear. It is the ultimate double edged sword. One edge can make the weak do great things, and the other edge can break the strongest of us, depending upon how we face it. To make fear into a positive, you must except and deal with it. Ignoring what you fear will only make the fear worse. And fighting your fears with out help can destroy you.
FEAR
CHAPTER ONE
DESTROYED BY FEAR
They were all gathered around the bed in Tofu's clinic, watching the unconscious form of Ranma's girl side. So much had happened, and so worried were they, that even Tofu could act normally in front of Kasumi.
They all were thinking of the past few hours. Happosai had finally gone too far in his petty need for vengeance. He had called up another Demon, and yet again, it got out of his control. He would obviously never learn his lesson. Every one in Nerima was then subjugated to their own worse fears in their minds by the fear Demon who had then fed off their nightmares. Akane was raped over and over in her dreams. Nodoka watched as she fulfilled the Sepptaku contact on her son. Genma was forced to ask himself was the boy's training worth all the suffering he had caused. He did not like the answer he came to. Soun watched his wife die over and over again. Kasumi saw her self as a slave to her family. Nabiki watched as her family was thrown out into the streets penniless and friendless. Ryoga for the first time saw himself as he really is, and that things were his fault, not Ranma's. He would never be the same again. Shampoo finally saw that she would never have Ranma's love. Ukyo saw Ranma only wanted a friend, and she had not been one. Both fiancée' vowed they would never chase Ranma again. Not that it would matter. Cologne saw her ex-son in law destroy the village for them daring to enslave him with some drugs that worked for a whole week. Mouse finally saw himself as something he never wanted to be. An annoying male. He was a stalker even. He was disgusted with himself. He had told Shampoo after they awoke that she would never suffer his attentions again, unless she asked for them.
Some good had come of this. All of them were stronger for living through and facing and accepting their own worse fears. All except Ranma. Ranma had pushed aside the fears in his mind and had battled and defeated the Demon. And as the others awoke, and saw the female form of Ranma by the koi pond standing victorious over the fear Demon, they then all saw her clutch her head and scream in agony. Then she had fainted.
They finally brought her over to the clinic, and now were watching over her, lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Nodoka asked, "What is wrong with my son Doctor?"
Tofu had been examining Ranma for a while. Tofu said, "We were all faced with our worse fears today." He said thinking of his own, that Kasumi could never love him for the way he acted around her. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and continued. "Well Ranma was obviously able to brush aside his fears for the moment and battle and defeat the Demon. Unfortunately for him, when he defeated the Demon, He was forced to face what he pushed aside so he could fight. Ranma is now trapped in his mind, facing all his fears, with no way out. He freed us from the nightmares, but now only he can free himself." He shook his head. "With his life and his raising…" Tofu stopped what he was going to say, before he said something he would regret. "Ms. Saotome, I don't know when, or even if, your son will ever awake. He could die, facing all the things he has suppressed and feared. And if he ever awakes, I'm not sure he'll ever be the same or even sane."
"Does any one have ideas on what could scare my son?" Nodoka asked fearfully. She knew that the training trip had been bad, in more ways then one, for her son. The Tendo girls finally told her how bad it was that night. She was forced to see that night what a bad decision she had made in letting Genma take Ranma on the training trip, and how bad a decision it truly was. As she cried, Genma came over.
"Wife," Genma said, and as she looked at him with hate in her eyes, he swallowed with fear and said "I have been forced to ask my self this, this night. I had gotten what I wanted, the best Martial Artist this world has ever seen. He is a tribute, my tribute to the Art that rules my life. But this forced me to ask my self, was it worth it? The answer I have is no." That shocked everyone in the room into silence. "I lost everything for it. I lost my home, I lost my wife, I lost my humanity, but most of all, I lost my son. He hates me you know. I'm not so stupid as to not see that. He's never called me father, just a disrespectful 'Pop', since the Neko-Ken, and he's just called me 'The stupid panda' since our curses." He shook his head in disgust with him self. "I would take my own life, to atone for this, but it would be the coward's way out. I need to make it up to him, some how, some day, I will make it up to him. I'm sorry Nodoka, that my ambitions blinded me to the damage I did to him. I can never atone, but maybe he'll some day forgive an old fool." Genma said, starting to cry. He looked at his son turned daughter and said "Son, you are what I made you, and I damn myself every time I relies that."
Nodoka stood, and hugged her husband. "I'm not with out blame in this. I let you take him and I held that stupid contract over him." She said crying "How, how can a mother even think of asking their child to kill them selves because they aren't what you wanted. You're not the only one who needs to seek forgiveness, and not the only one damning themselves at the moment." She then openly wept.
As the two sat down, weeping in each other's arms, all were forced to think of what they had done to Ranma. Finally Nabiki spoke. "We have all, in our own way, wronged him. If and when he ever awakes, we all must seek his forgiveness." All nodded at this.
"We realized this too late, and at to high a price." Kasumi said tearfully, thinking of her blame in the matter. 'If I only put my foot down on the way he was treated by the family.' She thought. 'But I didn't want to get involved.' She bitterly thought. 'That's me, staying and hiding in the background, thinking if I ignore the world, it will ignore me.'
Ranma had been facing all his fears all at once. And he had many fears. Being weak and helpless. Being alone. His lack of understanding the world around him. Losing his friends by not being able to protect them. And many others too numerous to count. All his fears had surrounded him, and had overwhelmed him, till he could not fight back, and his fear was even greater knowing his two greatest fears had yet to show up to torment him.
The funny thing was, those two fears, wanted to help him. Needed to help him. But they couldn't. Not until he had given up or asked for their help.
A few days latter, it happened. All his other fears beat him. And as he was left shivering, beaten, broken and dieing in his mind, his two greatest fears came in to the picture. Ranko dragged him off, while the Neko-Ken shredded all his other fears into tiny quivering pieces.
The large panther and Ranko took him to the small corner of his mind that they were normally trapped in together. Ranko was every thing about him he could not face. She was feminine, she was intelligent and had manners, she understood how the world worked, she could get angry, hold grudges, and even kill. Her form of fighting was what Ranma had never wanted to fight like, to the death. If any fought her for real, she would kill them with no remorse, no hesitation, no pity. She was a study in contradictions. Nice, polite, feminine, smart, sexual, and a remorseless killer. Some would call her personality sociopathic, but she wasn't.
The Neko-ken was just that. It was the sprits of all the cats that died to teach him it. It could be called a possession, but it wasn't truly that. It wasn't that smart, but it was savage and animistic. In short it was what it appeared as. A deadly cat.
As both looked over at the broken and dieing form of the mind of Ranma, the Neko-Ken roared in anger and sadness.
"Yes." Ranko said sadly, dropping her head. "We waited to long. But we couldn't interfere, not till he would except help or gave in, but he did neither. He fought back till he broke his own mind." She said crying and the Neko-Ken head butted Ranma, or what was left of him.
"Damn you Ranma." Ranko said through her tears. "We were supposed to all become one. A whole, normal, being after we saved you. But you wouldn't let us! We were your biggest fears!" she shouted and laughed a little hysterically. "We couldn't save you, and by not surrendering to your other fears, by not excepting them, by doing the only thing you know how to do, fight them, you effectively died." She cried some more then she got angry and started yelling. "You killed yourself Ranma! Rather then face your fears and true self you died!" Collapsing and then hugging the Neko-Ken she said "And now we're trapped in here, till this body finally dies too. The mind is gone, yet the body remains. All that's left in here is us, his two greatest fears." She spat out still laughing a little hysterically.
A little while after that, the psychic remains of Ranma and his lesser fears had vanished, leaving Ranko and the Neko-Ken alone the dark void that was Ranma's empty mind.
They wondered the empty mind for days, looking for something, anything left of Ranma besides themselves, but they had found nothing.
"Time for the body to die." Ranko said suddenly. The Neko-ken looked at her. "I don't want to be trapped in this dark and empty mind for any longer. I'm going to do so much damage to the place, that the body will die from the shock."
"Are you sure you want to do that Ranko? There are other options." The Neko-Ken spoke for the first time ever.
"What other options?" Ranko asked bitterly. If she was surprised that the Neko-Ken could talk, she never showed it.
"We could do what we wanted before, become one whole being. Just without Ranma." The Neko-Ken said.
"Without him, what's the point?" Ranko asked. "Listen," She said sighing. "We would be Ranma. We planed to effectively die to make Ranma whole in mind. We're just figments, what he couldn't deal with. We may act like we are separate beings, but we aren't even full personalities. Ranma was too strong to let us be full personalities. We're half completed personalities at best." Ranko told the Neko-Ken.
"But now that Ranma's gone, we're getting stronger. I can even talk now. And you could will Ranma's body dead. If we became one personality, we could live in Ranma's body." It said.
"But wouldn't that be wrong? Ranma's dead." Ranko asked getting tempted.
"Yes, he's dead. But we live! And we continue to get stronger. Ask your self this, would Ranma want what little remained of himself to kill it's self? We are all that is left of Ranma, even if we no longer see ourselves as part of him, now that he's dead, we originally came from him. He would want us to live!" Neko-Ken shouted.
Ranko sighed. "You're right. But we can't be him. What do we tell his friends and family?" she asked.
"The truth." Was all Neko-Ken said.
"And what if they hate us for it?" Ranko asked.
"Then to hell with them." Neko-Ken said.
"And if they attack us?" she asked, know her answer, but needing the Neko-Ken's backing.
"They die." Was the Neko-Ken's simple answer.
"Yes, we both don't deal well with threats. No more. They will threaten us no more. I'll even be nice and give them one warring, then they die." Rank said.
"Better then I thought you'd give." Neko-Ken said.
"Yeah, how will we do this?" Ranko asked.
"Well the original plan will still work if we modified it. I'll become a part of you, strengthening you enough so you can take over the body and live." Neko-Ken said.
"Why? Why let me be in charge?" Ranko asked.
"Because, out of the two of us, you are the more human in thought." Neko-Ken said honestly.
"Fine. I'll be the base." She said. And then they planed. They would only get one shot at this chance for them to live. Everything must go perfectly.
It was a few more days before it happened. It had been over two weeks since the Demon's attack that had left Ranma in a coma from which he might never awaken. Tofu had tried to keep Ranma a male during his coma, but he had given up after the third day. The water attraction part of the curse seemed to have kicked into overdrive, so Tofu finally conceded his defeat.
It was to Tofu's great shock one Tuesday morning that Ranma woke up and then sat up stretching, like she'd just taken a short nap. As he dropped his files, he stuttered "RRR,Ranma?"
Ranma looked at him, and he thought that something was wrong. As he thought about it, he saw what was different. The eyes. They were not Ranma's eyes. They were too distant, too cold. And his Ki was different as well. Not weaker or stronger, not that kind of different, no it was, something else, something very minor. The emotion used to rule it! Tofu thought. Ranma's was confidence, and that was the same too, but it was a different sort of confidence. Ranma's was an "I'm the best so I can do anything' sort. This was an 'I know that you can never beat me, and if you try you'll regret it forever' sort.
"Who are you?" Tofu asked nervously. "You're not Ranma. You can't be!" he exclaimed.
"I'm not, not any more." She shook her head. "Tofu, can you call everybody, and I mean everyone, down here? I only want to explain this once." Ranma said.
"Fine, Ranma?" he said the name as a question.
"No, Ranko." She said with a small and bitter smile.
"Fine then Ranko, I'll call everyone down here." He said leaving the room, feeling that he left a very large danger at his back as turned around.
As the last person showed up, it was Nabiki of all people, and took their seat Ranko started before the questions could start. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but Ranma did not survive." Ranko said flatly.
"What? Then who are you if you're not Ranma?" Akane shouted, jumping out of her chair. "Some body snatcher? Another Demon?' She started shouting.
"SHUT UP AKANE!" Ranko shouted. As Akane stopped in shock, Ranko pointed to her seat and said, "SIT! I'll get to who I am latter. For now be quiet and let me tell things at my own pace." Ranko said as Akane sat down fuming.
"Now where was I? Oh yeah, I never started. Ranma was trapped in his mind, facing all his fears. All but his two greatest fears that is. You see, his two greatest fears actually wanted to help him. But they couldn't, not until he either excepted their help, or conceded to the fears he was fighting. All he had to do was admit that he needed help, or just concede and then all would have been fine. I could have helped him. But due to his nature, how he was raised, how he saw things, he fought till he destroyed his own mind. Everything in his mind died at that point. Everything but his two greatest fears. They were in reality half formed personalities. Ranma, he should have been a split personality, with three separate ones, but Ranma's force will had stopped them from ever completely forming, and he had kept them locked up in the back of his mind. After he died, the two decided to be one, and live on in this body. So you see, I am not and can never be Ranma. I am the combination of his two greatest fears." Ranko finished.
The group stayed silent for a while. Then Cologne asked, "What were son-in-law's two greatest fears? Who and what are you?" she asked.
"Good question Cologne." Ranko said nodding. "The lesser of the two was the Neko-Ken, and all it represents, cats, death, torture and betrayal. That is the smaller part of me. The larger part and his main fear, is actually a collection of fears. I was named Ranko at some point by Ranma. I represent everything he could not handle. Feminity, inelegance, ruthlessness, sexuality, love, anger, hate, how the world is not and will never be fair, wanting to kill and a verity of other great negative things." She said looking around.
"Wanting to kill?" Cologne asked.
"Yes. Ranma never wanted to hurt or kill anyone. He was afraid he'd do it by accident. With his strength and skill, it would be so easy to just kill someone. So that fear got sent to me. I'd suggest that no one attack me. I fight differently then Ranma. Ranma fought for fun, and to get better, and so do I, but he fought to incapacitate, to stop his opponents from fighting back. I fight to the death." Silence at this. "If someone attacks me now, I can't guaranty that I'll let them live. It's how I was made. Ranma's fear of killing, made it so that I do not care if I do."
After some silence Nabiki asked "You're a female personality aren't you, you said you represented Feminity." She said.
"Yes. Some of Ranko was and is the fear Ranma had of being totally a girl in mind and body." Ranko said.
"I know I'm going to regret this one, but you also said sexuality and love? Care to explain that one? How can one fear love?" Nabiki asked.
"Ranma feared his Sexuality. In both his forms. In his guy form, he feared being attracted to any one of his fiancées, for that would just bring pain and suffering to all of them and himself as they fought. And it didn't help that his father never explained things to him and warped his view on women. In his girl form, he was told it was perverted to be as a girl with a girl, and he feared being with a man, the only other choice, for he was a man. So he buried all forms of sexual desires in me." Ranko said. As she paused for a breath, Nabiki said
"I guess that means you're Bi-sexual now." And after Nabiki said that, Akane started to sputter, while everyone else's jaw dropped.
"Yes. And while I do lean towards females as a partner, I wouldn't object to a good man." As Ranko said that, several jaws redropped. "As to love, and why Ranma feared it, it brought him nothing but pain. His father abused him, his mother scared him, and the fiancée he wanted to marry, beat him." The three named hung their heads in shame.
"Look, I can understand if you don't want me here, and reject me. I'm not Ranma and can never be him. I effectively took over and possessed his empty body. All I ask is that you let me live my life, my new life." Ranko said looking down.
After it looked like nobody could or would say anything, Nabiki spoke before anything got out of hand.
"From my understanding, you can never be the old Ranma." Nabiki said emphasizing the word old. "You are, however, all that is left of him. You are all that he rejected and feared about himself. You are what survived of Ranma. Congratulations! You lived. You survived at a terrible price, but you lived. Even if you are now Ranko, your base, your core personality came from Ranma. So you are in a way Ranma, just a part of Ranma that's never been seen by us before." Nabiki told Ranko and the room.
"I, I no longer care if I have a son or daughter. What is a man among men anyway? How can you prove that you are one or not? I, I just want my child back. I want my child!" Nodoka wailed.
As Nodoka slumped in to her chair sobbing with the grief she had caged for over ten years, all watched her in shock. Even Ranko sat their in shock as her mother broke down. Then she thought 'Mother? Since when was she ever a mother? She never was my mother! She sent Ranma off, never saw him for ten years, and always held that contract over his head. And now she's sorry? Now she doesn't care? Now she wants her dead child? Now that she can't have him?' She thought bitterly. Then a tiny voice broke through. 'She can be your mother. You could use one. It's not absolutely necessary, but it would be nice, wouldn't it. And you are strong enough to just walk away if she doesn't change. Ranma wasn't.' the larger voice sighed 'It would be nice to try.' She admitted.
Ranko then got off the bed she was sitting on, and walked over to her mother in her hospital type gown. Not caring that she was flashing everyone in the room, she bent over and hugged her mother, saying "I don't know if I can, but I'll try to be your daughter, if you'll try to be my mother."
Nodoka just sobbed harder, and got Ranko in a death grip. As the mother and daughter both hugged each other for support, Genma spoke.
"Ra, Ranko." Genma started as Ranko looked at him with pure hate in her eyes. "I, I had hoped to say this to Ranma, but I now have to say it to you. I was a fool." Ranko eyes narrowed in suspicion. 'What does he want?' she thought in suspicion. Genma then continued. "Ever since that Demon attack, I've been forced to ask my self the same question over and over, and I get the same answer every damn time. I made my son into the greatest Martial Artist this world has ever seen. He was a tribute, my tribute to the Art that I so love. But then I asked my self was it worth it? I ask my self it over and over now. And the answer is always the same. NO!" he shouted the word, and tears formed in his eyes. "It was not worth it. It cost me my home, my family, my humanity, it almost cost me my wife, but we're trying to work on that. But the two things that it cost me that I hate the most I just found out about. I had thought it had cost me my son, and it did, just not in the way I feared. I thought he hated me, and with good reason." Genma laughed at this darkly and in pain. His laugh cut like broken glass, but you could tell the one hurt by the laugh the most was Genma him self. "My son hated me. And he died hating me before I could ask his forgiveness. And now it seems my daughter hates me too. I hope some day, some day you'll forgive an old fool, one who was too blind to see that what he wanted, wasn't what he truly needed." Genma said turning around so Ranko wouldn't see him cry.
Ranko was stunned. As she hugged her mother with her body, her mind was on her father. Disengaging herself from the clingy Nodoka, she walked over to Genma, her father. Tapping him on the shoulder, she then forcefully turned him around. She was shocked by the expression on his face. She had never seen such pain and hurt coming from her father. "We need to talk father." She said.
His face light up, then it darkened. "Father. It's been so long since I've been called that. Do I even deserve the title anymore?" he asked aloud.
"Who knows" Ranko said to him. "We need to talk. How serious are you? Are you willing to do what a father should? If I give you the chance, will you be a real father? Or will you just blow it off like anything else that is the remotest bit hard work?" Ranko asked him.
Genma scowled, then said "I deserved that. I'll try. That's all I can promise you, I'll try. I have no way to guarantee success, but I will try my hardest."
"And the fact that I now see my self as female, as how did you put it, a weak worthless female?" Ranko asked with scorn.
"The boy hated being called a girl when he was young. And I, I was trained by Happosia to see females as inferior in the Art. So many things went wrong. I learned differently, what with the Amazons and the other girls, but my son took my lessons to well, and refused to see, even if is girl side could beat any one, he thought that girls were weak. And I had to keep him male, out of my fear of death, and it hurt him so much." He shook his head with tears reforming in his eyes. "I know now that woman can be fighters. I'll be proud when you win your fights. But," he said staring at her "I hope that you will learn, and learn quickly that not all opponents should die. In fact most shouldn't. My son should not have been so hesitant to kill, there were a few fights that might have needed to be to the death, though fortunately there was only one, but you, you sound like all your fights will be to the death. That is a perversion of our art." Genma said hotly.
"I'll try, if you can try to be a father, I can try not to end every fight by killing the opponent. But it will be hard. I was made to see that the opponent must die to so I can be safe. Do you understand? I can spar normally, maybe fight normally with some, but if someone comes at me that's a threat, or that wants to kill me like so many wanted to kill Ranma, then they will die. I just can't let true threats live, and if someone wants me dead, they are a true threat. And if you can't except that, then I'm sorry father." Ranko said.
Genma surprisingly nodded. "Good." He said surprising her. "You have a difference. You do know when it's appropriate to kill. Ranma didn't. He could have ended the fight with that Phoenix King much sooner, if he had only excepted that there are times that one must kill, and that that was one of them. I was afraid any fight you got into, you'd try to fight it to the death, but it seems you know when it is appropriate and when it is not."
"And are you going to be harping on 'The joining of the schools' all the time?" Ranko asked.
Genma looked down. "It was my greatest wish and desire for Ranma. But if you want, I'll talk to Soun and try to dissolve the pledge." Genma said shocking the room.
"I'll only go through with it on two conditions. One, no more interference from any one on it. And two, only if you switch it to another willing Tendo sister. I have too many bad memories with Akane." Ranko said.
Akane asked crying "You, you don't want me anymore?"
Ranko shook her head. "Akane, we just would never work out." She said sadly.
Akane stared to cry, then asked "Can we try to be friends at least?"
"We can try. Just remember that I'm not the Ranma you've know for so long." Ranko said.
Soun then asked "Do either of you girls want to have the engagement with, Ranko," he said, seeming to choke out the name "or should I call of the pledge with Genma."
Kasumi looked nervously at Tofu, then Nabiki said "Kasumi's in love with Tofu. She'd never be happy with Ranko while Tofu was still in her heart. Tofu," She said turning to face him "Get your act together fast. She's been waiting too long. To hell with it! Friday at seven you're taking her out. Be at our house by six thirty." She said shocking both Kasumi and Tofu. "As to Ranko's engagement, I'll take it." She said shocking the room some more. "But we both have the right to end it if it seems nothing will happen from it."
"I'll agree to that." Ranko said. All other parties involved agreed as well.
"Good. Then lets go home." Nabiki said. "You and I have a lot to discuss." She told Ranko.
AN: There it is, the first chapter. Yes I have effectively killed off Ranma and replaced him with this Ranko personality. This idea got me out of bed at two AM in the morning to start writing it, waking me out of my much need sleep. I don't know if anyone will like this, but I will continue it regardless. It's calling me. I don't know when any of my other stories will get updated. Something going wrong with my computer, and I'm taking it in to be looked at and maybe have it replaced under warranty. Oh well, thanks for giving it a try, and please review. But no flames.