Am I On to Something?

Disclaimer: I do not own incredibly much. I don't even know what sparked this idea.

Summary: AU. Slash (implied). Lucius finds a very drunk Dark Lord in his manor study. LV/LM. One shot.

Warnings: AU for the simple fact that Lucius is not in prison and Voldemort is drunk.

This story is JUST dialogue. It is another one of my experiments in writing.

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"The Dark Lord is waiting in your study, Lucius."

"Thank you, dear."

"My Lord."

"Lucius!"

"My Lord?"

"It is simply splendid to see you again, my little blond minion!"

"Forgive me, my Lord, but… Have you been drinking?"

"Oh do loosen up, Lucius! Get that infernal rod out of your arse and have a drink with me!"

"Very well, my Lord… It is my Firewhiskey, after all."

"Nonsense."

"Excuse me?"

"Nonsense. Nonsense! That's what it is!"

"That's what what is?"

"Nonsense."

"My Lord, I think-"

"Nonsense! I think…I think Lucius, that you and I have not spent sometime all alone for a long time."

"Yes, my Lord, I agree. However, I think-"

"Am I onto something, Lucius?"

"I don't know, my Lord..?"

"I just think that I am on to something."

"On to what, my Lord?"

"It has suddenly hit me! It is such a simple idea, after all! Don't you think so, my lovely?"

"Eh… My Lord, perhaps you could sit down and explain to me what you mean."

"Oh but Lucius! This is a wonderful break through!"

"I'm sure it is."

"It isn't just about killing all the mudbloods and muggles anymore!"

"It isn't?"

"No! It never was."

"…"

"It really wasn't."

"…"

"Honestly, Lucius."

"My Lord, I think you have had one too many drinks."

"Oh nonsense!"

"Oh by Salazar…"

"Oh, Lucius. Lucius. Luciusssss."

"My Lord, I had rather thought that you wanted a serious discussion with me, not…Mm…"

"Lucius, this is serious, lovely."

"What-ah! What kind of discussion involves your hand-ah-there?"

"I wanted to know if you think I am on to something."

"I don't know what you are on to in the first place, my Lord."

"It is a very serious and obvious-you like that don't you?-matter, my snobbish pet."

"Mm… Your endearments, my Lord, are not of a normal standard."

"Killing mudbloods does nothing to sate my appetite anymore, lovely. It just won't do anymore… Well, hello; you are rather excited to see me, aren't you?"

"Yes, my Lord, clearly. I thought your whole existence counted on ridding the world of mudbloods?"

"No, no… That was just a ploy to get all the power hungry little purebloods on my side."

"Really?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then-oh yes, do that again-what is the reason then?"

"Is it not obvious?"

"I am afraid not, my Lord… Mm, feels good…"

"Of course it does. Now, you really should pay more attention to me, Luciusssss."

"I pay plenty of-oh god-attention."

"Really, because I think you don't."

"My Lord?"

"No, I think you pay little attention to me. For instance, what colour are my eyes?"

"They're-what? What has that got to do with anything?"

"See? That is exactly my point, you blond bastard. Think of no one but yourself."

"But, my Lord-"

"No! No, I see how it is. You have a new master, I understand."

"My-"

"Don't! I knew it would one day happen! You have a found a newer and younger Master. I knew one day that my looks would fade and that my Death Eaters would desert, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon."

"…"

"Its so upsetting, Lucius! Do you not realise that?"

"My Lord, I think-"

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"Doubt it."

"…"

"See."

"See what?"

"Nothing."

"…"

"I am on to something important, Luce."

"Oh, not this again… Wait a minute, did you just call me 'Luce'?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Don't question your Lord."

"I'm sorry."

"Good."

"I was just curious, my Lord."

"I will call you what I want."

"I know that, my Lord."

"Then don't question me."

"I've stopped."

"Good."

"Ok."

"Now, Lucius lovely, back to the plan that I am on to."

"This is going to be a very long night…"

"Pardon me?"

"Nothing, my Lord."

"Ok then."

"Right…"

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Author's Note: Enjoy? I really should be doing my Film essay…