Just once, I wanted to be loved. To be beautiful to someone. Because, really, I was none of those things. You always want what you can't have, right?
I learned from a young age that caring was a weakness, that love did not exsist and I had to stand alone. Alone was all there was and I sure as hell would never have anything else. So I taught myself to be strong, independant, hateful and worse yet, alone.
Seifer Almasy. Those two words manage to invoke alot of thoughts. Hatred, violence, irritating, intense. But he was my friend. The one person who stayed with me and I with him. He saw past all my walls and taught me how to be a friend. How to be real.
I was so young then. So naive to all the things I'd taught myself were fake or for the weak. I thought I was in love. Thinking gets you in trouble.
Sun couldn't have been brighter then Seifer was to me. He was the center of my world. My only world. Maybe that's were I went wrong. I didn't have anyone else. Or maybe it was Rinoa. Afterall, what am I compared to her? Nothing. I was nothing. Of course, I couldn't have realised this sooner. I had to see it after it was too late. Isn't that how it always goes?
So here I am. Alone in my bed. I wasn't alone before. Seifer was here. His touch, his whisper, everything he was surrounded me in the emptiness of my bed room. He was gone now. He demanded perfection. Loved perfection. I was far from perfect. I had no chance.
"Fuu?" A soft whisper reaches my ears and my own red eyes meet green. However, they're a softer green then Seifer's.
"Hello Selphie." She smiles and jumps on the bed beside me and hugs me. Oddly enough, I'm comforted by her embrace. She's warm and soft. Not harsh.
"...For what it's worth, he's a colossal fool." I couldn't help it. The way Selphie said that sentence and threw her arms out as wide as they would go made me laugh. It felt good. Not as good as hearing her laugh with me. Seeing her smile,happy she'd made me laugh.
"Perfection's overrated. I can't imagine wanting what everyone else wants. Come on! If everyone's after the same damn thing, nobody's ever gonna get it!" I nodded, agreeing with her vague sense of rightness. I was more interested in the way her arms still held me and how her eyes danced with joy.
"I know...you felt...I mean..." Selphie bit her lip, pouting cutely as she tried to find the right words. I smiled.
"I mean..could you...would you..." I watched her eyes close as my lips met hers. I smiled against her, controling her in the way I could feel she wanted to be controlled.
To be loved.
That's all she wanted. Seifer slipped from my mind completely as I learned what love was that night.
Love is soft, firm and fragile at the same time. It was the way she held me close, afraid I would disappear like a dream. It's the way she smiles at me and how I can make her eyes dark with lust or bright with happiness.
Watching her sleep beside me, I know I 've found was Seifer was looking for. I know I'll never let her go. Selphie means everything to me, everything I never knew I wanted, or needed.
I learned somethingfrom her last night. Love was not about finding perfection. It was finding balance.
It was about finding Selphie.
a.n: weeee One shot unless many many many reviews tell me to make a longer fic. Anywhos review my lovlies!