What luck. Who was looking on him right now? Edward blinked. Usually, he wasn't one for heat and sun, but today was special. Little did he know that it would be hell for him.

Edward also wasn't one to sit in the sun with no shirt. He didn't exactly like showing off his automail to the general public. And damn those leather pants itched as he sweated uncontrollably under them. Sweat dripped down his neck and onto his back and his hair stuck in place against his skin. Normally he would be complaining, steaming, and growling under his breath. So what was the reason for Edward's hardly-controlled grin? There in front of him was a shirtless Roy Mustang, giving orders to the only other person in the courtyard that Edward could hardly hear. He calmly kept his drool to himself as Roy finished his sermon and cleared his voice, regaining Edward's attention to his voice, not just his body.

"Alright, thank you for cooperation on this devilishly hot day," his voice was steady, as though it was breezy and cool, not ninety degrees. "This is your solider training. As state alchemists, you need to learn how to be poised soldiers on the battlefield. Since Edward has finally settled down, he will have this training, and you, Lucas, will be having this because you are new."

Edward glanced at the other man only briefly. 'Lucas' was a blonde, twenty-something, skinny, glasses'd state alchemist. Edward chuckled softly as his eyes slid back toward Roy, as if they were magnets. Sweat continued to flow from his every pore as he listened to Roy's continual spiel.

"It is important that when you out on the battlefield, you are not running around half-hazardly. As ridiculous as it might seem, poise is what intimidates. Then you can work on fighting and evasion. Today, however, as I have said, we will work on poise."

Edward groaned at this thought—and loudly at that, causing Roy's eyes to drift to his in a disappointing stare. "Edward, might you have something to add?" Roy drawled.

Edward smirked, "Of course not, Roy, I'm just thrilled to be here!" He waved his hands in the air in big, sarcastic movements. "I'm so glad to be poised for you…Roy."

Roy groaned softly and walked towards Edward until he was at whisper's length. "Edward, please do not disrespect me when there is a new officer—ahem, a new older officer—who I would like to treat me as a Colonel, not a drinking buddy."

"Yeah," Edward exclaimed, overly loudly, "because you definitely have enough drinking buddies."

"Edward," Roy warned, "you are digging your own grave. If you call me Colonel—like you're supposed to anyway—and treat me with respect, I might not have to fuck with you during this."

Edward smiled innocently, then whispered, "Why should you have to wait to fuck with me later, Roy, when you can do it right here?"

"You know that's not what I meant." Roy frowned.

"Do I?" Edward shrugged and looked genuinely confused, "I just can't tell," He exclaimed.

"I warned you," Roy smirked, "don't forget that." He then stood up straight and then walked back to his spot in front of the two. He cleared his throat and smiled, "Ok! Let's begin! I would like you two to both give me what you would think is your poised position so I can point out your mistakes."

Lucas simply straightened out, head up, frown soft, back perfectly vertical. He looked perfect—to Edward anyway. Roy strolled over and began talking to him, all the while Lucas staying at 'attention.' Edward stood at a soft attention, obviously not taking his lover seriously—or perhaps he just liked to fuck with him. He didn't really want to piss him off that bad, but it was fun to make him look like a bad superior officer sometimes. It was easy when there was new meat, because they didn't know that Edward happened to be an… exception. He saw Roy nod slowly and heard a, "Fall out of attention."

Edward smirked as Roy approached with an evil smile on his face, so evil it nearly scared Edward—but it didn't. Edward remained relaxed even when Roy had met his side, shaking his head slowly.

"You know, Edward," Roy said loudly, "they call you a prodigy, but for god's sake, you can be stupid sometimes." He spat the word 'stupid,' making it sound like a curse word.

Edward flushed angrily, "You bastard!"

"Surely," Roy ignored him, "a boy with your IQ could give me a simple attention. This is pathetic," Roy let the word slip slowly off his tongue. "I know you can at least stand up straight, can't you?" He threw him a disappointed look and placed his hands on hips.

Edward remained silent and still, refusing to move and make Roy look good. He instead glared with all his might, attempting to drill a hole right through his lover's head.

"Ahh, I'll give you one chance, Fullmetal," He said sternly, "Please stand up in attention."

Edward stood.

"Alright," Roy shrugged his shoulders, "I'll just have to do it myself."

He approached the boy, getting a mere inch from his body before studying him. He kneeled down and 'tsked.' "No, no, this will not do. Your legs are just in an atrocious position!" He exclaimed before grabbing Edward's calves, pushing them together to make his stance more major-worthy.

"W-what are you doing, you bastard of a Colonel?" Edward was flabbergasted. He tried to pull his feet apart, but Roy was still holding them in place. Roy's bare chest was just far enough to keep from touching, but enough to get Edward to sweat even harder. Roy dragged his palms against the leather, straightening the once-bent legs and the letting go right below Edward's waist, causing Edward to release the breath he had been holding cause by nervousness. Roy smirked up at him.

"You ready to stand up straight?" Roy started to get up, but Edward was far too stunned to move—had he really just done that? Roy waited a few seconds. "No?" His face erupted into a smirk as he went for Edward's waist. "Alright, then."

Edward choked, "What are you doing?" He squirmed in Roy's grasp, wishing, praying for him to let go. How embarrassing! Roy was fucking with him for real!

"Just fixing your stature, Edward, since you can't seem to do it on your own." He slid his un-gloved hands along Ed's torso, straightening it out as if it were a piece of cloth all curved. "You just need a little," he softly licked his lips, "help."

Edward flushed nervously, Roy's body dangerously close. His heart picked up speed, pounding increasingly painfully against his chest. Edward squirmed more, tossing his glance around. He attempted to avert his attention from the soft breath reflecting off his skin. It didn't work. Roy began to stand up, stepping away, giving Edward a small moment to let out yet another nervous sigh. Roy tapped his own chin, as if there was some small problem that he could not quite grasp. Then, his eyes lit up and he moved back in, grinning wide. He quickly whipped his hand around Edward's neck, as if he was going to pull him close, but instead he removed the string tying the braid together behind his back and letting his hair loose. Edward flushed again, even deeper; Roy pulled him round and grabbed his hair, pulling it tightly, causing Ed to wince. He tied it and spun him back around, observing his 'work.'

"Oh…so….close." He took one finger and leaned in close tipping Ed's chin, a breath's length from each other. Edward flushed as Roy leaned just a bit closer. Closer. Closer. Edward closed his eyes and prepared for what he thought would be a kiss.

So wrong. Roy pulled back and said overjoyed, "Now there's a soldier!"

Edward's eyes shot open, flushed some shade of red between cherries and ketchup. "W-wha?"

"Of course," Roy shot a smirk, "He was created by me, how bad could he be?"

Edward steamed, but found himself unable to move, whether it was that his legs were just still too stunned, or that Roy had put some sort of 'Colonel Voodoo' on him, that was unknown. He just stood there, sun beating down on his bare skin, growling under his breath at one Colonel Mustang. One Colonel Mustang who had just won.


Edward fiddled with his collar, his neck shooting pain through his nerves every time. He growled once again, cursing Roy under his breath for what must have been the hundredth time that day. He stormed down the sidewalk, having left his ride behind in a rush. This was most likely because Roy was his ride. He would not give him the benefit of seeing his face.

How could he have done that? Edward thought bitterly, I mean, he just shamed me in front of this new subordinate who I'm going to be spending quite a lot of time with! I should knock his teeth out! I should get home before him and lock him, or refuse to let him sleep in the same bed with me until he apologizes! He knows that I only do that all the time, so what's the big fucking deal! I figure the new guy's gonna find out anyway, he might as well get used to it!

Edward stopped and took a breath, hardly realized that his storming had slowly turned to a light jog to a complete sprint. His breath dropped in the heavy hot air as he walked slowly again. He heard footsteps behind him but hardly acknowledged them and kept his pace.

"Edward." Roy's slate voice stopped him. He whipped around angrily, scowling more than he could ever remember.

"What?" He shouted, "What the hell do you want?"

"Well, I would think that would be obvious." Roy smiled softly, "You."

Edward flushed, but continued on his angry rant, "Well too fucking bad! You're sleepin' alone tonight." He turned on his heels and went back to walking down the sidewalk, leaving a slightly confused Roy for a second. He quickly caught back up.

"I told you not to forget. I warned you." Roy had a little mocking in his voice, pissing Edward off further. "You acted up anyway!"

Edward kept walking, shouting over his shoulder, "Quit treating me like a child!"

Roy stopped, "Then quit treating me like a terrible officer!"

"What if you are!"

"I know you know that I'm not!"

"I don't wanna treat you like you're a Colonel, since you're such a bastard to me!"

"You know, Edward, for someone who wants to be treated like an adult, you sure are acting like a child!"

"There you go, being a bastard again!"

"How can I not be, when you're terrible to me?"

"You were terrible first!"

"Don't lie!"

"I'm not!" Edward spun around, stopping Roy in his tracks, "From the first time I talked to you, you treated me with disrespect! You treated me like I wasn't important. I was obedient to you before you even knew me, but you had to act all 'adults-are-better-than-kids' and stuff, and by the time I got to Central, you had already decided that you had figured me out! I treat you with disrespect because you do!"

"But Edward-"

"—Nuh-uh, not done!" Edward continued, "I thought that maybe when you had agreed to be my lover, my boyfriend, when you admitted to loving me, that maybe you'd treat me with a little respect, since you specifically said that we were equals, despite our age. What happened to that, Roy? What happened to that?"

Roy heaved a sigh, a slight smile on his lips, "You know, Edward, that's the first time you've ranted that long about something other than your height."

There was silence.

"Ok, look," Roy spoke up, "I guess I'm sorry, but, you have to know," he paused, smiling sincerely, "that if I had never teased you, I might have never fallen for you. When you get all worked up like that, blushing softly, scowling, you're so damn cute, that I love it, and I fall for you all over again. Once I saw you get all cute, then I saw how. Damn. Beautiful," Roy had made his way to Edward, staring into his fixated golden eyes, "How beautiful you really are."

Edward stared into Roy's narrow eyes for a couple seconds before turning on his heels and walking away.

"What, that's it?" Roy questioned, "I tried, man."

"I know you tried," Ed's voice wavered, "But I don't know how to accept it."

Roy grabbed the lopsided collar and pulled Edward close, bending him back a bit to catch his lips. Edward squirmed for a moment but then draped his arms around Roy's neck.

"Kinda like that."

Edward smiled, "Come on, let's go home."

Roy grinned, letting Edward walk ahead of him a little, eyeing the bright red sunburn on Edward's neck where he had purposely folded over Ed's collar. Roy caught Ed's torso, placing a chaste kiss on his neck. Edward flinched, "Ow!"

"That's your apology."


I was bored so I wrote this. All in good spirit of the END OF THE YEAR 3 End of the year end of middle school start of High School which Freshman band camp! Ugh! I thought I'd let Ed in on the fun of standing in the sun for lotsa time so he could get all sunburned while being distracted while ordered to be at attention. Whoo hoo! Of course, if Roy was my Drum Major, I would not be able to restrain myself quite as long. I would jump on him and neverevereverever let go.

Not that I'm stalkerish or anything.

Ok, thanks for reading 3