Authors Note: This story was the result of watching Muppet Treasure Island and then reading my X-men comics. Forgive me please:)
Remy wandered down the steps to the kitchen, rubbing his eyes blearily and trying to ignore his hangover. Scott had scheduled yet another early morning training session and Remy would need at least a cup of coffee before he was ready to kill something. He walked into the kitchen then took a step backwards in surprise. Colourful creatures that were currently in the various stages of breakfast inhabited the kitchen.
A fuzzy frog was flipping pancakes, appropriately with his flippers. A pig in the finest faux Hollywood stood off to the side offering advice.
"Sweetums," called the frog. "Sweetums!"
"Yes," said a deep bass voice off to Remy's right. Remy jumped. A huge shaggy monster with large lips and fangs stood nearby. He was eating a banana.
"Could you get the syrup?" asked the frog. The monster nodded amiably and walked over to the counter, taking the syrup out of one of the upper cabinets. The syrup was placed on the table. Its seats were occupied by a rat, a bear, an animal and what Remy tentatively identified as a whatever. They were deep in conversation.
"No! No!" exclaimed the, uhm, whatever, "The X-men didn't really die. They just moved to Australia and went through the Siege Perilous and..." He trailed off as all the others just stared at him.
"Gonzo," said the rat, "you have way too much time on your hands."
"But Gonzo," said the bear, "Didn't the Reavers capture Logan and crucify him so he never went through the Siege Perilous?" Silence filled the kitchen as they all stared at the bear. Abruptly, the conversation resumed as the red-haired animal screamed.
"Wolverine! Wolverine!" He seemed very excited.
"Yes, Animal. You will soon meet Wolverine and all the other X-men." The frog looked straight at Remy who turned around and sprinted away.
First he would get one of the beers that Logan hid around the mansion, then he was going back to sleep.
Let the other X-men deal with those mutant puppets.