Title: The State of Denial and Delusions
Author: Silence
Fandom: Supernatural and Ohmygod! A Mary-Sue!
Rating: Brought to you by the letters M, or as I used to remember, R. (for language and anything else I feel like)
Pairing: I seriously doubt there will be one. Unless it's someone and their car. Car love is true.
Spoilers: Season 1 finale of Supernatural and spoilers for virtually every other fandom I mention. Not too mention my previous fics.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Winchesters or Supernatural. They belong to the WB and far more talented people than me. But goddess I wish I did own them. The only thing that's mine is Lacey and believe me, she wishes she weren't.
Summary: The Winchesters should never have gone to the state of Missouri. In fact, no one should. You pick up bad things in that state. And nothing is worse than a Mary Sue.
Notes: While it's helpful to read the previous fics that Lacey has appeared in, it's not necessary if you don't care about random ramblings of the Bitter Sue. But she'll be random even if you did read the others.

Unless otherwise noted, this will be from the point of view of the resident Bitter Sue. I alternate for certain chapters. Sorry. I do what the whiny little Muse in my head demands.

Previous Fics to this: (Both can be found here)
Confessions of a Mary Sue
The Goddess Must Be Crazy

Part 1: Paranoid

It was a dark and stormy night…

No it wasn't, but that was how all good stories start, wasn't it? Wait. This wasn't a good story. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a Mary-Sue story. A Mary-Sue story that will no doubt teach you lessons you never realized you needed to learn.

I'm Lacey and I'm your resident bitter and very peeved Mary-Sue. I'm also the woman currently sipping a cup of coffee in an emergency room while waiting on word about a certain Dean Winchester.

No, I didn't claim to be his fiancée or some bullshit. I didn't have to. Sam was bruised, cut, and sprained, but he was all bandaged up and waiting with me. Only he kept shooting me strange looks. Joy.

Since we're all playing the waiting game, I guess I should explain how this mess started.

Once upon a time, in a place I like to call 'normal Earth', there lived a young woman in the state of Missouri. She was, for all intents and purposes, a fangirl that slaved her days away in a Pizza Hut. She wasn't super special. She wasn't super smart. She wasn't even extraordinarily pretty. She just had long black hair that she was proud of, sometimes she had a pale complexion from being indoors too often, and a nose she just wasn't pleased with. She also had a bunch of fandoms that she enjoyed.

One day, she ended up in Middle Earth. Another day, she ended up in a combined Harry Potter and Buffy the Vampire Slayer mesh-verse. She helped save the day from Perfect Mary-Sues and was then returned home with nothing but memories of the events, a phoenix ring, and some possible mental scars.

As always with her twisted life, these events of Suedom always started on her night off. This was no different.

Still with me? Because if you are, why? I can't be that entertaining for you.

So there I was, minding my own business and washing dishes in the kitchen when the phone rang. I sighed and picked up a dish towel to dry my hands before I grabbed the cordless phone. I pressed the talk button and greeted the poor sucker on the line with an annoyed, "What?"

I was greeted by static and a strange hissing sound. The lights in my home began flickering like something out of a bad horror movie. And if there was something I knew, it was bad horror movies. I pressed the off button on the phone, only to keep hearing the static from it. I scowled at it just as a sound ripped through the receiver. It was the sound of a door being broken down. Hey, it sounded like the ones they used in horror movies. Of course I'd recognize it.

My eyes grew wide and I nearly dropped the phone as something began pounding on my front door. The sound worsened on the phone. For a moment I thought I hadn't turned the phone off, so I opened my mouth to ask if it was a fucking joke..

"Is this some kind of fucking joke?"

That was my voice on the other end. Mine. What the fuck was going on? The sound of wood being shattered caught my attention from my living room and a blood curdling scream escaped the phone. Without another look back, I dropped the phone, grabbed my car keys and bag that I'd left on the counter after I'd come home earlier, and bolted from my little duplex.

I could hear the sound of heavy footsteps pounding through my house as I started my car. It was 2003 Jeep Liberty. Used, but it cost me. It was needed ever since.. Well, that wasn't the point now.

Getting away. That was the point.

As soon as I peeled out of the driveway, I looked into the rearview mirror to see a looming figure illuminating my kitchen doorway. My breath caught in my chest and the figure faded from sight.

But I didn't stop driving. Oh, no. I kept going. You could call me the damn Energizer Bunny for how long I drove. It felt like hours. Of course, instead of thinking about what to do, I was busy thinking about how much the gas refill was going to cost me.

In other words, I let my guard down and thought I was safe. I obviously thought wrong as a hand reached for me from the backseat. I let out a scream and turned the wheel sharply. You could hear the tires squealing on the pavement and I slammed on the breaks. My head smacked into the steering wheel and the last thing I felt was a familiar wave of heat go through me. It happened every time I ever ended up being a damn Mary-Sue somewhere. You'd think I'd have learned to take that fucking phoenix ring off by now. I knew I was at a crossroads. Death by a strange creature that probably shouldn't exist or life as a Mary-Sue again.

I really hoped I would end up dead.

The sound of a large semi truck driving by was my alarm clock. My head hurt like hell as I raised myself off the steering wheel. I looked up into the mirror and saw a small trickle of blood on my forehead. "Damn." I wiped it away as best I could and that was when I heard it.

Music. It was faint and it sounded like classic 80s rock. I looked around and the semi I heard was gone, but sitting in a heap was a broken car that was still smoking.

I had this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach about what car that was and just what fandom I was in now. But did it stop me from getting out of my car?

Of course not. Apparently all my common sense died back in Helm's Deep. Or possibly high school. Both were pretty hellish. It was a toss up.

It was dark, but my headlights were on. I made sure to grab my cell phone from my bag and slid it into one of my pockets. I walked quickly, fear and dread filling me with every step. God, please.. if you loved me, I begged internally, don't let me be here. Not now.

God didn't love me.

The ruined car was a black Chevy Impala and in the car were the one and only Winchester boys. Their dad was no where in sight. I whimpered as pulled my phone back out. I called 911 and gave them the location as best I could while I made my way to the driver's side. After they confirmed they were on their way, I reached through the open window to turn the ignition off. We didn't need the thing to explode, did we?

A hand clamped onto my wrist with more strength then you'd think after a crash like that. "Who are you?" His voice was raspy, but Sam Winchester was very lucid.

There were many ways to answer that, Sam. I could be your doom. I could be your savior. I could be your long lost reincarnated whatever. You never really knew with this curse.

"Just someone passing through." I replied. It was pretty honest. That was something I learned quickly. I was always in these situations for a reason and I always returned home in the end.

The answer must have satisfied him for now, because Sam's grip loosened. We managed to get the car door open and he stumbled out and fell to his knees. "Dean…"

I glanced into the backseat and winced. God, I hated blood. Dean was laying there, his eyes closed. He looked so bloody and broken. A far cry from the Mister Snarky Cool Hero Guy in the show. "I don't think we should move him. But give me a min--"

Sirens in the distance interrupted my comment and I felt a wave of relief. Good. They'd handle it. The professionals would fix it.

They'd also tow the car and probably remove everything in it. I was going to mention it to Sam, when he slid to the pavement. That boy was out.

Damn damn damn.

I bit down hard on my lower lip and snatched the keys from the ignition. Laying on the floor of the front seat was a book. It looked like that book, the Key of Solomon, so grabbed it and the bloodied book I recognized as John's journal.

The colt. Where was the colt? I knew there was no way for me to get all their gear out, but the colt was important. That was key.

I didn't see it anywhere in the wreckage of the car. Maybe.. I rushed over to Sam to check him. Sure enough, he had the colt on him. Naturally, I stole it. I fully intended to give it back. But that was for later. I took all the items I'd rescued and ran as fast as I could to my car. I stashed all of my 'borrowed' goods under one of the seats. The sirens grew louder and I ran back to the Impala in time to greet the paramedics.

I even got questioned on what happened. That was fun in the not really kind of way.

I could end the story with me driving away with the loot, but then that wouldn't be much of a story. It certainly wouldn't be fair to the boys and it wouldn't really say much about my character. If I had any. But it didn't matter, since I didn't do that anyway. Instead, I ended up at the hospital. I got myself checked out because of my stupid scratch on my head, not like I've gotten worse, and I stuck around to make sure the Winchester duo were alright. I had to return the stuff I salvaged, right?

Sam came out of things pretty quickly. They had him bandaged and sutured up in no time, but I wasn't really paying much attention to him. I was busy staring through one of the windows of one of the trauma rooms, where his brother was being tended to.

It didn't look good.

"What's going on?" Sam asked me, and you could tell he was dreading the answer. Couldn't he have asked a doctor? Or nurse? Why me?

"From what I could get from the snippets I caught, he's lost a lot of blood." I didn't take my eyes off the action beyond the glass. "There's some internal injuries and I'm betting a concussion of some kind. You'll have to ask the docs for info."

"There was someone else with us-" He started to ask about his dad. I knew he would.

I stopped him and shook my head. "I only found you and him. There wasn't anyone else in the car."

Sam's reflection in the glass went from worried, to angry, to what I think might have been a bit of despair. "That's not-"

"I saw the semi leave." I said quietly. I didn't add what I was thinking. Either Daddy Winchester survived and the demon was going to use him for leverage, or their dad was a meat suit for the demon or a flunkie of his. I guess I could have mentioned my thoughts, but that would have brought up questions I wasn't ready to get into right now.

We'd have time for that later. "I need coffee. You need coffee. I'll be right back." I left him standing there as I went in search of the nearest coffee machine.

Welcome to Missouri, Winchesters. We aren't the Show-Me State. We're the State of Denial and Delusions.

Enjoy your stay.