Disclaimer- I don't own supernatural or any of it's charachters and I don't own the song Upside Down, Jack Johnson does... I DON'!

A/N: Enjoy!

The ride home was silent. I new that Dean wanted to say some things, but I really didn't and he respected that. He was happy, that he found Cassie again, but I didn't know if they were together or not. They didn't even talk about it. I figgured that Dean wouldn't be staying at the appartment tonight, he's a man... they can't wait to do things. So right now he was probably thinking how he was going to get in her pants. I kept looking at the letter, that number. What the hell was that? Isn't it weird that Matts number was just one digit off?

When we got home I slammed the door of the Impala and ran up to the appartment slamming the door behind Dean. Sammy gave me a weird look. I didn't want him to get the immpression that I had a woopdi doo time. I meen, it was cool Dean was trying to get closer to me but, A. It was Laser Tag, which ment Dean wanted me to practice my aim and shot. So it had something to do with hunting and B., Cassie was there, and I think he new that and he wanted a little. Sam had unpacked everything. My room was set up so after I found it I slammed the door.

When I wallked into my room I looked around at all the accessories that Sam left for me. A phone, perfect! It was sitting right on my nightstand. I took the peice of paper out of my pocket and set it right down there by the phone. I could here Sammy and Dean talking.

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"What happened? Where did you go?" Sam asked while sipping his beer. There was about three on the table, so he had been trying to get drunk, but it wasn't happening.

"Laser-" Dean couldn't even finish his sentince.

"Oh, thats perfect! When you took Laura there- wait, did you say Laser Tag?" Sam asked thinking about what was wrong with that.

"Thats What I tried to say, and I think it went perfectly well, except..." Sam cutt him off again.

"Except! Dean your her brother! Your supposed to look after her! What the!"

"Sammy! calm down, your just waiting for one more bad thing to happen. I know my job better then both of you, so don't tell me I need to look after her, I think I do a damn well job of doing that. Now, to the except part. A guy, gave Laura his number." Sam took another sip of his beer thinking again.

"So, oh..." He stopped himself like he had hit the jackpot.

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I was stairing at the phone reading his note over and over again. His number ran through my head. It was crazy. It meant something, I new it meant something. It had to have met something. MATT! I then thought, I hate you! My emotions started to poor through my eyes again.

"No!" I screamed.

"I'm not going to-- I just, I just cant!"

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"Do you hear that?" Sammy asked. Dean shook his head. Dean got up to check it out but Sam just stopped him.

"Dean don't-" Sam said.

"Why?"

"Because, she just needs some time alone to just ponder and think about whats happening."

"Well how do you know that smart ass?" Sam looked Dean straight in the face. He was serious now.

"Because, I've lost someone like that before."

"I haven't?" What?

"Umm... No. Not-"

"Exactly Sammy, you don't know. I don't tell you." Dean walked to his room instead of mine.

"What! Dean! Come here!" Sam said while getting up to chase him.

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After I got myself together I decided that I wouldn't call him. Maybe if things got a little bad then I would. But, not now, I wasn't ready. Matt just died, I can't be excpected to just pick up the phone and call some guy. I really thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with Matt. I had it all planned out and everything. We would first kill the demon, and then Matt and I would get married, and you know how girls plan there lifes like that. It was just a big shock when I saw he was a demon. I can't be with a demon! I really loved him though, and he loved me. I new that, I think that If I just had one day with him then I would tell him that over and over again.

I think it just makes it worse knowing he is alive. I meen, I can grab him, but something strong is pulling me back. I started to look out my window while my phone began to ring. I looked at the caller ID and it said Private. Know one knows this phone number except Jessica, Sam, Dean and... Dad. Sam and Dean were here it couldn't be them. Jessica was in Spain... I don't think she'd be calling me. That would only leave one person. Dad...

"Hello?" I asked. It was him.

"Laura, don't call your brothers, I want to tell you something you only." I was silent.

"I'm sorry I just left like that. Your probably in an emotional mess, and I want you to know that I'm here for- " I cut him off. That was bull shit.

"What are you going to say, your here for me? Your never here for me dad, you just pick your stuff up and leave again. When I really need your wisdom, you just leave me!"

"I know honey, I'm really sorry. You probably think I can help you out a lot, with Mary's death, but I can't." He stopped talking and we were both really silent.

"I ruined your life Laura, and I'm really sorry, but you don't want my help."

"So then why are you calling?"

"Because, your my youngest child and you don't need Dean and Sam as much as you need me. I'm your-" I stopped him.

"No your not, your not my father, you never have, and you can't be. The position has already been filled-"

"Laura, I know how you feel-"

"No you don't! You never have and you never will!" Tears started to stroll down my face again.

"Laura, stop crying." He was sounding really calm, which was weird.

"No! I can't I miss you dad! I love you and you just! You just abandoned me."

"Laura, I'm going to go,"

"You always go!" I said while hanging up in his face. He was trying to get in but I was scared of that too. He couldn't not anymore, I'm not going to let him hurt me anymore! I'm sick of being hurt all the time. It was making me go mad. i just, I have to start over again. First I have to stop moaning and get on with my life. I don't think that i've ever been the person for help, but I think I need help. As I lay on my bed I turned on the radio very softly. Jack Johnson was playing and I sang his words very lightly.

Who's to say
What's impossible
Well they forgot
This world keeps spinning
And with each new day
I can feel a change in everything
And as the surface breaks reflections fade
But in some ways they remain the same
And as my mind begins to spread its wings
There's no stopping curiosity

I wanna turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
I don't want this feeling to go away

Who's to say
I can't do everything
Well I can try
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren't always just what they seem

I wanna turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
This world keeps spinning and there's no time to waste
Will it all keep spinning spinning round and round and

Upside down
Whos to say whats impossible and can't be found
I don't want this feeling to go away
please don't go away,
please don't go away,
please don't go away,

is this how it's supposed to be?
is this how it's supposed to be?