Pretty Ryou always sat in the front of the bus. Always right up there with the driver, as if the man could offer some sort of protection from the countless bullies that kept come endlessly. I was supposed to be his protection. Destiny called for it.
I didn't work out that way though. Nothing ever really did. Nothing worked according to destiny. Something was always askew or missed to keep the puzzle pieces from falling into place, and fate would, once again, need to lift its heavy hammer and force our tiny lives together, into one, huge paradox.
I liked the idea of being Ryou's protector, though. It made his mine, in a sense. Pretty Ryou was mine. All mine…
I never did the task that had been assigned to me by some strange God. I never talked to Ryou, touched him. Save those rare nights where I would hold him, rocking him back and forth all night.
He was mine. All mine.
I think he was scared when I did that. He never moved, just held still in my arms and let me stroke his pretty, white hair. Or maybe he was lonely enough for the company of a twisted spirit.
Pretty Ryou belonged only to me…
I could not control his thoughts though. He still acted according to those. What if I broke him? Would that do it? Would that make him mine and mine alone?
I smiled. That should work. That would work.
Ryou was so quiet now. Oh so quiet and hardly ever speaking. I could see the terror in his eyes in the brief moments when they met mine; him always looking away immediately. At school he sat alone in the back of the room and at home he cried.
He was so pretty when he cried. I liked to see it. The wet cheeks and the sad posture. I wanted it all for myself.
So I raped him.
He had seemed so shocked when I did. I hardly touched him. He was so tense afterward that I didn't want to look at him. I locked him in the closet for a few days, just a few, to quiet him. To break him.
When I took him out, he would be all mine.
All mine to keep forever.
I held Ryou like a small child when I took him out of the closet. He was like a glass doll. If I dropped him, he would break and his eyes showed me his hollow insides with the glass rims.
He was amazingly strong though. Ryou gripped my arm and didn't seem to want to ever let go. His eyes never touched mine.
He was completely silent. My own broken little doll. I lay him on the bed in his room and combed his hair. So pretty…so pretty and all mine…
I raped him again because that was the only way I knew to touch and he was silent. So silent and never screaming. At night he never let go of my arm.
I liked him- that was why I broke him. I liked his so much that I needed him to be mine and mine alone. Breaking him was the only way I knew how.
I had forgotten that broken people were so sad though. Ryou had been so sad. One night, he had swallowed all the pills he could find in our house.
"Oh Ryou…pretty Ryou…" I kept murmuring as I pet his head. I shoved my fingers down his throat and made him throw up until he spat blood. He was crying. Hard. "You're mine, sweet Ryou; all mine…" I was whispered so I wouldn't scare him. "If you were to die, it would be by my hand."
Ryou was crying much too hard to say anything and I licked his face and drank his tears. I rocked him in his mother's old rocking chair while he grabbed at my arm until blood came. I held him to my chest while I took the knife out, to make him feel better.
I wanted to watch the last of life flicker in his eyes, like old ashes, so I sank the knife into his stomach, guaranteeing a slow death. His eyes widened and he coughed blood when I did and I kissed his eyes.
"Pretty Ryou…now you can be all mine."
Back and forth…back and forth…creak…creak… I rocked the chair in the rhythm of Ryou's dying breaths. They shuddered with pain and blood was seeping out of his mouth and onto my shirt.
Creak…breath…back and forth…Hush, now. Don't cry so much. Creak…shhh…All mine…back again…exhale…
My rocking stopped when Ryou's breathing did. His breath was still making my mind seasick. I lay my doll upon the bed softly, not to wake him up. I dabbed away the blood on his face and kissed his cold, glistening cheeks goodnight. His hair was messy; no good. I combed sweet Ryou's pretty white locks and tucked him in tight.
Sweet, pretty Ryou was mine. All mine to keep forever.
My feet his disappeared into the shadows. So slowly I slipped to the Shadow Realm. I stayed with Ryou, petting his pretty white locks fondly all night. All night, while my body turned to vapor.
Hush now, Ryou. Pretty, little Ryou. All mine.
My legs were gone now. Pieces of my torso too. In the Shadow Realm. I lay next to Ryou and closed my eyes to try to listen to the steady pulsing of breathing in the air. Nothing leaned against my ears.
My arms now. Gone. All gone. Only bits that clung onto reality now.
Ryou lay peacefully next to me. So pretty…so pretty with his eyelashes and white hair. So pretty and all mine.
He was all mine to keep. My pretty little doll just to keep forever.
Disclamer: Don't own nothin'
oo I honestly have no idea where that came from. I think I'm losing it...really.
I love Ryou...I think I should've left that last part out. The second to last bit was better to end with. -sigh- Oh well.
I have problems. Please, please bear with me, readers. My parents, friends, adn teachers have found that I've began to cut myself again and I am horribly depressed. HUG (Plus, Finals are coming up adn that is quite evil)
I'm thinking of making another account for all porny stuff. It'll be one where people can tell me what to write. In fact, review this adn give me a pairing. I'll write a lemon for you adn post it in another account. I'll give you the pen name if I ever do create one...I'm liking the idea, though.
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW