Disclaimer: Shonda Rhimes and the grand high Mucky Mucks of Touchstone own Grey's Anatomy. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made. Any similiarity to any other story not my own is coincidence.
Rating: PG at most really.
Timeline: Essentially during the Season Finale, and it does contain spoilers for that episode.
Summary: Meredith contemplates her choices.
Author's Note: Just a little drabble from Meredith's POV during the end of the season finale.
I Scream, You Scream
Choices; choices are a lot like ice cream. When I was a kid, it was simple: vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry. There was even a choice for when you couldn't chose: Neapolitan. Now that I'm an adult, there's Cherries Garcia, Chunky Monkey, or Starbucks Cappuccino. There's Phish Food, Bunny Tracks, and Moose Mocha Swirl. There's no simple choice anymore, and no flavor for when you can't make a choice…
"Meredith?" Derek asks me, his eyes intense, calling to me. Derek with his McDreamy eyes, and his passion, and the memory of his hands on my skin; Derek with his wife.
"Meredith?" Finn asks from the other side, his face so open and sincere. Finn with his warm compassion, and his gentle arms, and his acceptance of every messy thing about me; Finn with his plans.
And I find myself thinking that the choice should be simple. "Why isn't it simple?"
"Meredith? Are you okay?" Finn asks me, looking from me to Derek, and I feel like he can see everything. I feel like he can see Derek's touch on my skin, his mark on my heart and soul.
Derek says nothing, just looks at me, and I'm unable to breathe. There's not enough air and I feel like the whole hospital should be able to hear my heartbeat, it's so loud.
"I have to go see Izzy," I find myself saying, my voice distant even to my own ears. "I should really go be with Izzy."
"Mer…" Derek says, his voice caressing my name, making me weak in the knees.
I round on him. "Izzy's fiancé is dead, Derek. Denny's dead and Izzy just walked away. And I have to go now and see if she's okay."
I round on Finn before he can even speak, and snap at him too, though I know deep down that he doesn't deserve it. "I have to go now."
"I have to go now," I say once more before turning away and practically running down the stairs. And I know that I've made no choice at all, not for myself, or my life, or my heart. I've not even chosen to really be going to help Izzy. All I've done is run away.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. Choices are a lot like ice cream. And I've always hated ice cream…