Disclaimer: I love my BtVS characters that Joss gave me for getting good grades! Wait, what do you mean I can't have them? Fine, I am content to just play with them.
Timeline: During the graveyard scene during Normal Again, except Buffy was never injected with crazy juice. How can I do that, you ask. Because I just can! yay!
Author's note: I know it's been a while since my last update, but the craziness of soccer, drill, and insanity killed my inspiration. Luckily, the occurrence of an "up until 4am" cured that, temporarily. Hope you enjoy.
"You looking for me?" Spike was surprised to see Buffy in his graveyard, especially since he hadn't seen her in days. He had made the active decision several times to stay away; his not going to Xander and Anya's wedding for example. He'd thought about going with some pathetic excuse for a date but simply seeing Buffy would be too painful, no matter what.
"Really not," Buffy replied, not even looking back as she spins her stake idly between her fingers.
"Right then, off you go," Spike knew better than to push Buffy, took him long enough to learn that lesson, but he finally got it.
"Right, go, as in home," Buffy turned to face him," Really not a place I want to be right now. I could always stand to stay here and annoy you for a little while. It's a slow night." Why did I say that? Now it'll be awkward and I'll have to make "small talk", whatever that really is. Buffy lifted herself to sit upon the nearest large tombstone and swung her feet.
Spike's eyebrows rose in surprise. "No annoyance, kind of fun, seeing how long it takes you to start thinking about how much you want your hands on my hot, tight body." Spike accentuated this statement with a leer and his tongue curled against his teeth suggestively as his hands ran across the body in question.
Now it was Buffy's eyebrows that were raised as she shook her head, "You never change."
Spike smirked, and turned to lean on the headstone next to Buffy. "What can I say? I'm nothing if not consistent."
No weak retort came from Buffy. Think of something boring. Concentrate on anything but Spike being so close to you. Something boring... something boring... something, LINT! Yes, lint, good, no one could ever think lint was interesting or a turn-on. Unless, someone really liked lint. But come on, lint has to be the most boring thing in the world...
"Do you think lint is the most boring thing in the world?" Buffy surprised even herself when she blurted out what crossed her mind.
"Pardon me?" Spike had the expression on general amusement mixed with disbelief that Buffy Summers wanted to talk with him about lint.
"I was thinking lint, like pocket lint, has to be the most boring thing in the world. You think?"
"I don't know, Slayer," Spike's expression now revealed minimal interest and slight concentration on the subject at hand, "I think more along the lines of a fork."
"You know, Slayer, metal pronged instrument used in civilized people's eating habits," At Buffy's glare his tone switched from teasing to explanatory, "People use them everyday, most people anyway, and never think a thing of it."
"You've had time to think about this."
"Eh, comes from over a century of wasting time, yeah."
"Uh huh. But, what makes a fork more or less boring than, say, a spoon?"
"Okay, fine, have it your own bloody way. Eating utensils, disregarding knives of course. Those can prove interesting."
Ignoring the last remark, Buffy pressed on with the ridiculous subject at hand, "Don't some people collect them, forks or spoons?"
Aggravated slightly over being on the questioned side of a pointless debate, Spike retorted, "Well, pet, maybe some people collect lint. Ever think of that?"
"People that collect lint? Now that's scary," A wide eyed Buffy stared at Spike in mock horror.
"Demons and vampires get you geared up to fight the good fight, but the lint-man makes you tremble in terror. I'll never understand you, Summers." A good natured smirk appeared on his face."
"As it should be." Buffy turned slightly more from where she sat and noted again her nearness to Spike and an awkward silence fell over them both.
"Where do we stand?" Buffy wasn't used to being so blunt, but a part of her desperately wanted to get through all the bull.
Spike paused, "Well, that's up to you, innit? Always has been."
She sighed, tilting her head back slightly to look at the stars on the warm California night, "How did we get here?"
"Oh, I dunno," Buffy turned to look at Spike and smiled, "In a cemetery debating the finer points of pocket lint, trying to avoid talking about what we're really thinking."
"That's life, isn't it?" Spike stretched enough to crane his neck up without falling down next to the stone that he was so precariously leaning against.
"Ah yes," Buffy replied with irony in her voice, "This was my greater purpose of coming back from the dead."
"So maybe the whoosits and whatsits that make the world turn got bored, or are up for a little game of "torture the girlie"."
Buffy answered that with a snort, "Yeah, or maybe life just sucks, no higher purpose, no giant plan that we all fit into."
"How lovely, pocket lint and an exciting round of 'define life, isn't this sucky'." Spike looked at the stars, amazed that through all of the apocalypses, they still looked the same as they did one-hundred and twenty years ago.
"You're the one to direct the conversation. And might I add, "sucky"? Getting a little vocab lesson from me?" Her amusement was anything but subtle.
"Yeah, well, what can I say, you've turned me into a right poof."
"That's me, Buffy the Vampire Tamer. Siegfried and Roy watch out."
"So, did you cry?" At her blank look he elaborated, "The wedding. Two hearts joined for eternity, great pelting showers of rice and so forth. Was it fun?"
"Birdseed, actually. Although I didn't really desperately need another reminder of how my life should be and isn't, it was all right."
"I'm surprised Sunnydale made it through an actual wedding without a major battle."
"Oh, there was the demon that tried to scare Xander into not marrying Anya. It had concocted warnings of doom and the whole "Marty, I am from the future" routine, but been there, slayed that.
"Anya's former client. Or, actually, the client's wish. Tortured male figure or whatever. Wronged the wrong woman and had to get all angsty on the vengeance demon's big day..."
"Is to be expected." Both Spike and Buffy seemed a bit uncomfortable now.
"Yeah, well," Buffy fidgeted slightly.
"Right, then..." Spike noticed her agitation.
"I guess I should get back, you know, home." As much as she was not looking forward to it, home was where Buffy should be right now, dealing with drama.
"Right, don't want to leave the assorted Scoobies too long."
"Seems like a slow night."
Spike wondered, "Do you think this'll ever get less..."
"Awkward?" Buffy had been wondering the same thing for a while now.
Buffy jumped down from the headstone with something akin to the grace of a cat, "Don't know. I hope so. I half-expect one of us to start polishing Giles's glasses."
Spike laughed, suddenly left with an image of them both with spectacles they were feverishly cleaning with expensive handkerchiefs. "I miss this, you know."
"Witty banter about pocket lint and how much life sucks while sitting in a graveyard?"
"Well that, yes," Spike smiled, "But also just talking to you. Being friendly, non-homicidal, in the same room, or lack of room."
Spike was smiling at her in that special way that never failed to make her feel like the only girl in the world. When his eyes were lit up like that and the corners of his lips were curled slightly up she didn't know whether she wanted to kiss him or cry. "You gotta admit that we can have the strangest conversations."
"As proven by pocket lint, forks, life, demons, weddings, and Siegfried and Roy."
"Yeah, and I...I miss you, too, sort of. Without you, it gets..." Buffy was nervous how to finish her sentence, but was cut off by Spike anyway.
"Boring, right. I'm sure it gets real boring," Spike's tone turned colder and he stood up to leave, "Right then, best be off, so long for now and all that bugger. I suppose I'll be seeing you. What with the apocalypses around every corner." With that he turned quickly, coat melodramatically snapping behind him. And like a shadow, blended into the night, leaving Buffy alone to look on.
"Lonely. It gets lonely." Buffy turned and headed towards home.
I'd like to point out that the pocket lint vs. spoon debate was one I actually held with a person (I was for the pocket lint). And the "Marty" joke was of course a reference to Back to the Future (I, II, & III). A few of the best movies ever. Yes, unless it was not common knowledge, I am a dork. Still cool movies laughing. As for the pocket lint conversation, I tried to add a bit of the random humor the show always had that I love.(Does no one remember Oz and Willow talking about animal crackers and monkey-pants?), so call it my little homage to Joss and Marti.
Also, I'm trying to write longer chapters... so I'm working on it people!
And as always reviews are really appreciated. Feedback is why I write, other than my insane obsession to have Spike and Buffy together, which the show didn't provide me enough of. Evil writers. Of doom.