Length: 2399 words; oneshot
Summary: Draco owes Pansy. Harry's besotted. Pansy's got this idea...
Note: Written for 30pickups over at livejournal.
"There's no way I'm doing that," Draco protested, his bottom lip starting to jut out in a slight pout he didn't know he was doing, but no one tells him he does because he would violently disagree.
"But, Darlin', you owe me," Pansy said, accompanying it with a pointed stare.
"I do not! You were paying me back-"
"It…It," Draco floundered, "doesn't matter because it was your fault."
Pansy snorted; it was just like Draco to blame things he started on innocent people who were just rounding the corner and had nothing to do with the event. "Draco," she started patiently; she didn't want him to get angry, after all, since she wanted him to do it. "It wasn't my fault you ruthlessly attacked Potter and his sidekicks in front of McGonagall. Not that they didn't deserve it," she quickly added at the sight of his betrayed look.
"Besides," Pansy continued, quirking her eyebrow at him, "I talked you out of a week's worth of detention, I did. Brilliant on my part. You," she jabbed him in the chest, "owe me big time. And I," she smiled widely, evilly, "get to set the conditions."
It had took her a lot of thought, all last night actually, to think of what she would make Draco do, and then she received a late birthday present from her cousin. The gift, a humorous book of pickup lines, inspired what Draco would be doing.
"But I don't like your conditions." Draco's whine turned to accusation with, "You're just doing this so you can find out who I fancy!"
She rolled her eyes at his pointing finger. "Duh." It was true and nothing to be ashamed of. Draco knowing just made the whole thing funnier to her. "And if you don't go to a Gryffindor and say the line I'll know you're cheating. Everyone knows who ever it is it's a Gryffindor."
Draco opened his mouth to protest but must have found it futile because he closed it and pouted his lips, resigning himself. "So I have to go up to who I fancy tomorrow and say a pickup line?" He sighed heavily.
"Yep! But it has to be in the Great Hall during breakfast. And." She glared at a groaning Draco, but she slowly started smiling. She fingered a slip of paper then slipped it into Draco's hand. "That's the line you have to say."
He opened the paper, dread written clearly on his face, and Pansy walked away with the piercing glare courtesy of Draco on her.
Pansy sat down at the Slytherin table the next day rather perky. She surveyed the Great Hall, scrutinizing the Gryffindors the most. Who does Draco fancy? With a jot of fear she realized that it was probably someone he shouldn't like and that was why he wouldn't tell anyone. Maybe it was a first year.
She promptly gagged over the thought then smiled. Draco screwing up like that would be funny.
"What's got you so chipper?" Blaise asked between bites of toast.
"Oh, nothing." But because Draco never made her promise not to tell, and it was by her conditions, and she never could keep a secret Pansy blurted, "Draco's going to say a pickup line to the Gryffindor he fancies!"
The surrounding people turned to her. On their faces were a mixture of surprise, happiness, revenge, and smirks.
"Really? I hope it's embarrassing!" Millicent said gleefully. She was still sour about Draco calling her fat last week.
"And here comes the man of the hour," Blaise said loudly, sweeping his arms to the spot between him and Pansy. Draco scowled but sat. Everyone's eyes were on him.
"What's all this about?" he snapped. Goyle handed him a plate already filled with food while Crabbe quickly tried to surreptitiously sneak the food he'd stole from the plate back on it. Draco grabbed it and sent a glare at Crabbe.
"We're just interested to find out which Gryffindor you like," Blaise commended, slapping Draco on the back.
Pansy giggled guiltily under Draco's look. So she wasn't supposed to tell. Oh well.
"You told them?" he whispered harshly in her ear.
"Well, yeah." She shrugged. "How could I resist?"
Grumpily, Draco turned to his food and speared it with a fork. Pansy winced. Whenever he attacked his food he was restraining himself from attacking a person.
"You know," she said quietly, hesitatingly. Once Draco raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement she continued. "If you go now you can get it over and done with."
"I'd rather eat first. Who knows if I'll be able to eat after," he said tersely, spearing his food once again.
Pansy sighed but consented herself to waiting. It had better be worth it. Painstakingly the minutes passed by. Draco seemed to be eating as slow as he could. Finally he set his fork down and looked across the hall at the Gryffindors.
Without a word he stood and sauntered over. Everyone who had heard Pansy before stopped their activities and rearranged their selves for a better view. Never before had Slytherins been so unsubtle. Even some Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs noticed their strange behavior and turned to watch Draco head over to the Gryffindors.
Pansy held her breath. Draco stopped beside Potter and his sidekicks. So he fancy's Granger, Pansy thought wildly, no wonder why he wouldn't tell. She watched as he nodded at Granger and Weasley. Then he opened his mouth and spoke to…Potter?
Ron was, to say the least, very irritated. Did Harry think he was blind? Hermione too because she never acknowledged him as knowing. Was it because she found out long before he did or she honestly thought he couldn't see what was staring him in the face. Well, at present time, staring at Malfoy. Had Harry no dignity? Hell, half of Gryffindor knew he harbored a full fledged crush on the bloody Slytherin but did that make Harry stop? Or maybe he didn't know half of Gryffindor knew about his not-so-secret.
"Harry!" Ron said. He was past his breaking point. He couldn't take it anymore. It had to get out in the open.
"Huh?" Ron glared at him. Hermione gazed quizzically at Ron then looked at Harry and shook her head wearily. "You are practically falling off your seat trying to turn and stare at Malfoy. And you've been doing it for the past five minutes."
Harry jumped and whipped his body around so fast his neck cracked.
"No, Harry, now listen to me. Okay?" Ron stared hard at Harry, whose mouth was opening and closing in a fabulous imitation of a fish.
"I - I wasn't staring at Malfoy. I was…glaring at him!" Harry's eyes were wide and Ron almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
"Of course not. You haven't been staring at him all of this year, and you haven't been idly doodling his name over your notes, and you haven't been going out of your way just to see him, and you haven't been smiling gleefully after a confrontation with him, and you haven't been harboring a full fledged crush on him!" Ron gasped for air but he felt much better now. That had been on his chest for a while. Finally he looked at Harry to see his eyes were, if possible, even wider.
"Ron!" Hermione gasped.
"What! It's true and no one else was saying anything."
"No, you knew?"
Ron groaned and buried his head in his folded arms. Luckily his plate had already been cleaned off and pushed aside.
"You mean other people know?" Harry whispered. Ron looked incredulously at him. And people thought he was blind?
"Yeah. It's that obvious. You like Draco Malfoy and everyone listening to our conversation already knows but no one would say anything to you," he said slightly louder, addressing said people listening along with Harry. Some of the people looked away at being caught eavesdropping. Others, like Seamus and Ginny, leaned a little closer. Ron frowned at them but they didn't budge.
"It's okay, Harry." Hermione patted his shoulder comfortingly. He looked too shocked to come up with a proper response. He simply melted into Hermione's touch. Ron felt a shiver of jealously jump through him, which was stupid because Harry liked Malfoy for Merlin's sake.
"You mean - you guys are okay with it?" He sat straight, pulling away from Hermione and gazing openly into their eyes.
"Okay with it! We thought you didn't even know," Seamus laughed boisterously. Everyone ignored him except for Dean, who whacked him softly on the arm to shut up.
"Of course we are, Harry. If we cared we would have said something a long time ago. I just didn't bring it up because I was waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to tell us." She gave Ron a pointed look.
"What? Harry probably feels much better now, don't you mate?" He didn't see Harry's reaction though because a little ways away, behind his friends, a Slytherin was walking their way. And that Slytherin was Malfoy. Had they been too loud? Did the Slytherins hear them talking?
The noise at their table quieted as people started noticing who was walking over. Malfoy stopped behind Harry and Hermione, both of whom twisted around to see what he was up to. Malfoy nodded at Hermione, then at Ron. But then he turned to Harry and looked him up and down.
"You know, Potter." He raised his eyebrows and smirked slightly, almost sexily - or that's what Ron imagined Malfoy thought it was. Harry too because he started chewing on his bottom lip. "That shirt is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you I'd be cumming too."
Ron was floored. What the fuck!
Harry's brow creased then thinned out with a blush. He opened his mouth then closed and opened again, resorting back to his fish impersonation. Malfoy winked saucily, turned heel, and swaggered back to his table, which was filled with people either in a state of shock or cat calling.
"Harry…" Ron started. He could feel his face going red. Malfoy had no right. It was completely uncalled for. And Harry just sat there staring after him, blushing. Hermione gently grasped Harry's elbow and tugged him around.
"What do you think that meant?" he asked.
Seamus whistled lowly. The three friends turned to him. "I think he's got the hots for you to. Aren't you lucky." Dean hit him on the arm yet again. Ginny giggled but Ron knew his sister better than that and knew she was trying not to be disappointed even though she'd known about Harry.
But Ron looked at the Slytherins and his anger was back in tenths fold.
"Harry, don't you get it?" At his confused face he elaborated. "Malfoy knew about you liking him. He was teasing you! He didn't mean it at all. Didn't you see his friends? They were laughing!"
Hermione's face scrunched in thought. "Are you sure that's how it was?"
"Yes! What else would it be?"
Ron didn't have to worry though because Harry's blush was disappearing to make way for anger. He at least understood what Ron was saying. "That bastard!" he said under his breath.
"I don't think you should jump to any conclusions!" Hermione rushed as Harry was getting up from his seat. Ron leapt up after him.
"I'll come with." They both ignored Hermione's protests and Seamus' laughing. They were on a mission. Malfoy couldn't pull something like that and get away with it.
"That good enough for you?" Draco asked smugly as he settled into his seat, the excited voices of his housemates surrounding them. "I owe you nothing, now."
Pansy was still surprised. She couldn't tell if the other Slytherins were emanating a positive or negative excitement but she didn't care. Potter? Draco's gay?
"No. I'm bisexual."
Pansy gaped. She hadn't known she was speaking aloud.
"You made me so don't get all weird," Draco huffed defensively.
"Oh." Pansy shocked herself by being able to talk. "I'm just a little surprised. Don't you…hate him?"
Draco rolled his eyes and she took that as the best answer she'd get. Maybe it wasn't so odd after all; Draco always was obsessed with the Gryffindor. If Draco was going to be gay and fancy Potter then Pansy would help him. Sure the pairing was weird but she always did have a fondness for setting people up.
"Look who's coming over," Blaise said, covering his laughter with his hand. Draco raised his eyebrows. Pansy smiled slowly. Maybe she wouldn't have to help after all.
"What the fuck, Malfoy!" Weasley shouted angrily at the same time Potter asked confusingly,
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"What do you think you're playing at?" Weasley continued before Draco could say anything. Pansy decided to simply sit back and observe. Draco seemed to decide to do the same for he crossed his arms and looked at the rapidly turning red Weasley.
"Huh? Just because he - because! Er! It's disgusting! And cruel! And I know you're a Slytherin but it's Harry's feelings you're dealing with! How would you like it if - Ow! Harry stop kicking me - like it if we did something like that to you, huh?"
Harry blushed a deep red and Pansy could see Draco wasn't paying attention to the screaming red head anymore.
"Just because it's obvious doesn't mean you can tease him like that. It's not ri-"
"It's exactly what it sounds like," Draco said calmly to Potter, effectively cutting Weasley off mid rant.
Weasley opened his mouth again but Pansy glared at him and made rapid slashing movement across her neck. He stopped and stared at Draco and Potter.
"You mean…" Potter shuffled his feet pathetically. Typical Gryffindor, Pansy thought, brave till matters of the heart come into play.
"Yes." Draco stood and walked over, stopping beside Potter, who sucked in his breath. "Want to see how it goes?"
Pansy watched at Potter's eyes jumped from Weasley, who was staring wide-eyed, to the Gryffindor table, to Draco.
"Sure." And Potter all but dragged Draco out of the Great hall. Weasley sat down in Draco's vacant seat to compose himself. She smirked at him then caught Draco's grin before he was pulled through the great doors. Pansy had no doubt he proceeded to prove the pickup line correct.