The Feudal Adventure of the Great Monkey D Oyabun
Onami smiled and asked, "How have you been, Ace? You've been gone for so long."
Ace grinned and answered, "I'm a living legend who gets free food everywhere I go!" He glanced at Onami and repeated, "That's free food everywhere I go!"
Onami laughed and replied, "You have to pay for my food."
Sanji stared at Onami with heart-filled eyes and said, "Onami-swan, you're the most financial woman I have ever laid eyes upon!"
Ace let out one more giant laugh and said, "I just remembered, there's somewhere I wanna go with you, Oyabun. I discovered in on the way here. I think you'll like it."
Oyabun jumped up and down and exclaimed, "Yosh! I hope it's really great!"
Ace grinned and said, "It's greater than great!"
Oyabun was even more excited. "Did you hear that, Usopp-sama? It's greater than great!"
Ace smiled and asked, "Does anyone else wish to come along? You're all invited to join us!"
Onami grinned and said, "Sure, why not? Sanji-kun will watch over the place while I'm gone!"
Sanji's eyes fill with hearts as he replied, "Sure thing, Onami-swan!"
Chopper beamed and exclaimed, "I'll come too!"
Usopp agreed to come as well but Zoro wasn't interested. Onami turned around and said, "That's okay. You can help Sanji-kun out in the kitchen, Zoro-CHAN!"
Sanji's mouth gaped open as he retorted, "Zoro… CHAN? I thought I was the only man for her!"
Zoro glanced back and complained, "I have to work with HIM? NO! WAIT, I'LL COME TOO!"
Onami laughed and said, "It's too late. We've already decided."
Zoro twitched and yelled back, "YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS YOU SHE-WITCH! YOU'LL SEE! YOU'LL GET YOURS AS SOON AS YOU HAVE A SEX CHANGE!"
Sanji grimaced at the green-haired monk and said, "Don't insult Onami, seaweed head."
Zoro twitched and replied, "What was that, crap-cook?"
Suddenly, the two got up and they started fighting. Zoro pushed Sanji into a wall and Sanji kicked him square in the balls.
We now take you to the others who were still walking through the village. A lot of people stared as girls from all over the village shouted, "Look, it's Ace-chan! Ace! Can I have your autograph?"
Onami noticed this and commented, "You've made quite the name for yourself, Ace."
Ace waved at the girls and replied, "You should have seen my trip through Hokkaido. The girls were all over me!"
Chopper felt his hooves and asked, "Are we almost there? My hooves are tired."
Ace grinned back and said, "Don't you worry. We'll be there in 5 minutes."
Oyabun beamed and said, "I can't wait until we get there! I wonder what could be there! Maybe it's treasure or food! Food would be great!"
Ace laughed and commented, "You haven't changed a bit, have you?"
Meanwhile, business was looking great at the restaurant. When people heard that Zoro was working there, they couldn't help but eat there.
A young woman walked up to the front desk and asked, "Excuse me, Mr. Roronoa, may I have a fresh cod and your autograph?"
Sanji could not believe what he was hearing. People had come from all over the city just to see Zoro. See, Zoro had recently made a name for himself when everyone heard that he had single-handedly put away Captain Buggy… with Oyabun's help of course.
Sanji ran up to the counter and pushed Zoro out of the way. He smiled at the young girl and said, "Here's your cod! How would you like the autograph of such a fine chef as myself?"
The girl nodded and asked, "Where can I find a chef who cooks like you? I'm sure he'll be a lot more charming and cute."
Sanji stared in dismay as the girl ate her cod. Zoro couldn't help it. He was now laughing like Oyabun when he saw something that was only remotely funny. Of course, what some considered remotely funny was hysterical in Oyabun's book.
Speaking of Oyabun, he and the others had finally reached the area Ace had spoke of. Ace smiled and said, "This is it. You'll get a big surprise when you enter this area."
Onami, assuming it would be treasure, dashed inside the cave Ace had pointed to. Usopp laughed as he said, "That's our Onami! She's always looking for treasure!"
They soon heard loud screams coming from inside as they all panicked and ran into the depths of the cave.
They all stopped dead in their tracks as they saw a thief walking through a back entrance holding a big chest full of gold. To make matters worse, he'd kidnapped Onami and was carrying her off.
Oyabun ran up to him and asked, "Who the hell do you think you are?"
The man turned around and hollered, "OH MY GOD! IT'S MONKEY D OYABUN! Um… is this girl yours? We're terribly sorry! We'll give her back to you right away!"
The thief threw her onto the ground and ran off. Oyabun ran up to Onami and asked, "Are you alright?"
Onami nodded as Ace grimaced. "What's wrong, Ace-san?" asked Chopper.
Ace slammed his fist against the wall and cursed, "Dammit! Those thieves stole the treasure I'd found in here! That's what we came for! I was going to give you a special treasure I had hidden here years ago and don't need!"
Usopp sighed and said, "No sense worrying about it. Onami's okay, and that's all that matters."
Suddenly, Onami got up and punched Usopp on the back of the head. "What do you mean that's all that matters?" she asked. "We need that treasure! Oyabun, Usopp, you failed to stop the thieves, so you have to catch them! Ace, you're the one who hid the treasure, so you have to find it!"
Usopp started to tremble as Oyabun scratched his butt. "I don't wanna," they said in unison.
Ace placed his hands on their shoulders as his fingers emitted a flame. Both Usopp and Oyabun's clothes caught on fire as Ace barked, "You heard Onami! You should never say no to a lady's request!"
Chopper stared and asked, "What was that all about?"
Ace smiled and said, "I ate the Mera-Mera no mi! That means I can emit fire from my fingers!"
Chopper realized that this was his chance to prove himself worthy for a change, so he transformed again. His body grew longer as he became a full-fledged reindeer and ran off to help out the two brave soldiers in their quest for the gold.
Onami rested her arm on Ace's shoulder as she said, "I still can't believe that anyone as nice as you could be Oyabun's brother."
Ace grinned and ran off to join his younger brother and his companions.
We now take you to the thieves who were walking away with the stolen loot. One of them turned around and said, "Sir, I think Oyabun and his friends are following us."
The leader looked around to notice that his men were telling the truth. He grimaced and asked, "What do you want?"
Oyabun stopped and announced, "Gomu-Gomu no Pistol!" as he slammed his fist into the man's face from only a couple of feet away. "We're here for the treasure you stole."
One of the men gasped as he exclaimed, "He's eaten the Devil Fruit!"
Usopp came in wielding a rope and gracefully used it to tie up ten of the thieves in the area. Oyabun grinned and stated, "That was a fine job as usual, Usopp!"
Usopp turned to Ace and asked, "Did you see that? I caught ten of his men!"
Sadly, while he was looking at Ace, the ten thieves had cut themselves free. Usopp yelped and ran behind Chopper for protection. Chopper saw this as his one big chance.
He became his heavy point for the second time in this story and punched the ten thieves' lights out.
'Crap! Now I have to deal with TWO Devil Fruit users,' thought the leader.
Ace grinned and said, "That was a great job, guys, but I'll take it from here!"
He placed the tip of his finger up against his forehead as a flame shot out of his finger and surrounded the thieves in a ring of fire. "Hand over the treasure!" he barked.
Later that day, Onami held a celebration for Ace. She showered him with free food and goodies. The only bad thing about this was that Oyabun and Usopp had to pay for his free meal.
"Why do we have to pay?" asked Usopp.
"Because you guys hardly did anything in that fight!" snapped Onami.
Oyabun sulked and complained, "I didn't even get to use my sai in this episode."
Ace laughed and said, "Cheer up! You won't have to pay. The treasure I got Onami is worth at least 100,000,000 berries! In fact, she owes me about 86,952,746 berries as change! Oh, I'm kidding. You can keep the change."
Later that night, Ace was finally ready to leave. Before he could go off on his own again, Oyabun grabbed onto his shoulder and said, "Wait, Ace! You want to prove who is stronger right here and now?"
Ace grinned and answered, "I'm more than game!"
Oyabun rushed at him with his arms back and shouted, "Gomu-Gomu no Bazooka!"
The fight had ended, and Oyabun had once again lost to Ace. He grinned and said, "I guess I'll never be able to defeat you. You're too strong."
Ace shook his head and replied, "Don't talk like that. You have to believe in yourself. If you can do that, then maybe you'll one day beat me."
He walked off into the distance as Oyabun waved and said, "Ace is such a great guy, isn't he?"
Onami nodded and said, "He sure is." With that, she turned to Zoro and said, "I heard that you made some money off of giving people autographs. Hand it over!"
It had been yet another eventful day for Oyabun. Now all he had to do was wait for another adventure.