Chapter 1


Gina Vendetti-age twenty four, single-with dark hair sporting a single purple streak, and dark eyes burning with determination, was on her way home from the Kwik-E-Mart on the night of her first encounter. She had just rounded the corner and reached her neighborhood. It was a quiet, residential district with little crime and broad, tree-lined streets where children played during the afternoons and early evenings of the sundrenched summers. Thus, she was surprised to see a gang of threatening men loitering on the sidewalk ahead of her. They reacted to her approach, and, as she drew nearer, began to fidget and edge out of the shadows, like lazy hounds rising to their meal. Gina increased her pace, walking past them swiftly, ignoring their whistling and tongue clucking. Another group of toughs emerged from the alleyway ahead of her, and it was then she realised that flight was not an option. Already they were closing in on her, forming a semi circle around her, the wall as the 'hard place' to their 'rock'. Gina dropped her groceries, grabbing a bottle of wine from one of the bags as they dropped towards the ground. She swung it at the nearest thug, smashing it open across his head and spraying the crowd with cheap Ogdenville table wine. She swung the sharp, broken end at her attackers, driving them back, then socked one in the face with her free hand. She dashed through the opening created by the two reeling toughs, and would have run all the way home were the way not blocked by still more leering hooligans.

"Hello-'ello, luv," someone said. A kid dressed as Alex from A Clockwork Orange emerged from the crowd, holding a cane.

"Get the fuck away from me!"

" 'Old on, little devotcha. No need for the old stabby slashy. Jus' looking for a bit of fun. A quick in-out with you an' the lads an' we'll be on our own oddy-knocky ways, right as rain, no problemo. But if you're at us with the broko vino bott'l, then we'll go with a bit o' the ultraviolence on you. Now be a dear, let down the old face-slasher, an' we won't be too long."

Gina paused. She hadn't understood a word he had said.

"You get the fuck away from me! I'll smash yer fucking face!"

The hoodlum looked to his mates, grinning.

"Very well then!" He spun his cane in his hand and then swung it, smashing Gina's impromptu weapon. He swung again, striking her upon the head and sending her staggering into the wall. He pressed his cane against her neck, choking her. As she gasped and coughed, he grinned and laughed wickedly. Gina watched in terror as his face contorted, the eyebrows rising, the lips pulling back, revealing yellowed fangs, his eyes turning yellow and luminous.

A shot rang out. The hoodlum paused, and looked about his fellows. One fell, bursting into a cloud of ash at the ground. Silhouted in the alleyway stood a young man holding a revolver.

"Bloody hell, a hunter!"

Another shot rang out, this one hitting the hoodlum pinning Gina against the wall in the groin.

"Fucking-A! Ya bloody blew me yarbles off!" He fell to the ground, releasing Gina, who slid to the ground, gasping.

The hoodlums fled, hooting and screaming. Gina looked up and saw a young man with spiked blond hair and scraggly facial hair looking down at her. He held a ridiculously large revolver, which she guess had to be a .44. He offered her his hand, and helped her to her feet.

She coughed, then asked.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?"


part 2

"Bart? Bart Simpson?"

"Oh my God, Gina? How you doin?"

"Well…considering I just nearly got raped and murdered, not to shabby."

On the ground, the "Alex"-esque hoodlum was crawling towards his cane. He grabbed ahold of it, and screwed the handle loose, revealing a small blade.

"What's with the piece?"

"Self defense. Lucky for you, I away carry it with me."

The man threw himself at them, screaming and stabbing downwards with his knife. Bart fired, knocking him back down.


They got into Bart's car. Bart tried to explain.

"So, essentially…you're a radio host by day, a vampire hunter by night, and…you and your whole family, and bunch of other guys, are in on it too."


She shook her head.

"You're fucking insane."

"Oh, really? What about back there? The guy? The dust? That was all hallucination?"

She looked at him.

"Vampires are real, man."