Wow... hi. It's been a while since I've updated anything around here... damn.. ok.. anyways.. Here's a little songfic I wrote for the Swat Kats. YAY! I'd like to think my temp beta for going over this for me. Thanks again Sami!


What Hurts the Most

WARNING!

Character death, slash pairing (aka boy/boy pairing) (Jake/Chance)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Swat Kats (unfortunutly...), nor do I own the song.. such a purrtyy song too... uu...


I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house.
That don't bother me.
I can take a few tears every now and then.
Just let them out

------------------

The silence bombarded him once again, the eerie silence of an empty room. Silence of an empty home. The soft pitter-patter of the raindrops on the rooftop reminded him of such. The month had been terrible to him: to come home continuously to an empty house and an empty bed. The absence of another being was evident by the messy home. What few dishes there were piled in the sink, half drank milk cans littered the living room and dirty overalls overflowed from the laundry basket.

This tom laid on the empty, cold bed as he silently watched the rainfall outside the open window and pooling on the window ledge. Lightening lit the dark sky and a soft rumble of thunder echoed in the distance. A slight smile crept on his face, his blue eyes having gone dull days ago, as he remembered how much his other half loved thunder storms. Salty moisture welled up in his eyes, slowly escaping to join the other tear-trails down the dirty blond face-fur. Large paws reached out and clutched a pillow to the broad, yet defeated body of the kat, his senses able to catch faint whiffs of the scent of the one he missed so much. A sob racked his body, face burying into the soft pillow of his mate.

His mind... his body... his entire soul yearned for the soft touch of comfort from his love. The lean body that stayed curled next to him in the night, the soft amber eyes that always held the hint of great intelligence in them, the beautiful voice that had helped him through all his bad times. Closing his eyes tightly and making his tears leak out into the pillow, he clutched it tighter to his body while imagining he could feel the soft velvety, tan colored fur in his paws. Time passed slowly, in his opinion, before he finally drifted off into a slumber, the thunder still echoing in the distance.

Rain continued to pour in the open window and lightening lit the skies once more. It was the same dark skies that had once been flown by two courageous tom-kats that weren't afraid to take on any danger that came their way. These were the vigilantes and unafraid heroes known only as the SWAT Kats. But one evening changed it all, letting all the katcitznes know that they weren't completely undefeatable: that the Swat team had a weak point. And in that one evening, that one mission brought only one home again while one other hero would never be forgotten, especially by one lone tom...

------------------

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while.
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me,
there are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay.
But that's not what gets me.

------------------

Chance Furlong rolled his eyes, naturally. "C'mon, Jake... You can work on that missile later, huh?"

Amber eyes glanced up at the tabby kat before returning to the mechanism of the new missile design the smaller kat was working on. "Sure, I can, Chance... But I wanted to get this baby done before our next practice run. I'd never get it done if I stop now."

The blond, tabby striped tom's expression saddened and went unnoticed by the other since his back was to the bulkier kat. He turned to the ladder leading up from the underground hangar. "Yeah. Ok... I'll... go watch Scardey Kat or somethin'..."

'Did you forget what today was, Jake...?' Chance thought. 'It's your birthday, damnit all...'

The tom left the lean kat to his project and went back upstairs so that Jake Clawson was left in peace to work for a while. Sometime later, however, one sharp ear turned towards the entrance of the hangar. The sound of the ladder creaking slightly in some places caught his attention, meaning Chance had returned. The chocolate colored tom rolled his eyes. He should've known that Chance wouldn't be gone too long... He continued working again only to be disturbed a few seconds later.

"ACCKKK! Chance!" Jake cried out as he found a strong, muscular arm around his waist and his body being placed on a broad shoulder. "Put me down!"

"No," Chance winced slightly as Jake's claws dug into his shoulder so he could stay halfway upright when he started back up the ladder. "We're goin' out whether you like it or not. Now, shut your mouth."

'Out? Out where..? And for what!' the smaller mechanic's mind reeled in thought. Knowing he couldn't beat Chance in a fair fight, he closed his mouth and didn't struggle to get away. "I'm gonna need to change, you know..."

The full grin reached him, facing his mate or not, making him smile a little as he was answered. "I know that. Clothes are on the bed."

As soon as his feet touched the floor, Jake was pushed up the stairs to their room while Chance waited downstairs on the couch. Upon reaching the room, he found one of his nice western shirts and a pair of black jeans laid out on the made bed. He frowned slightly then shrugged. He changed clothes then got on his hands and knees to look for his good work boots under the bed.

Meanwhile, Chance sat back on the couch cushions. He held up the open jewelry box to gaze at the single band of gold inside. He had bought the ring almost two months ago, but had never gotten the courage to ask his mate for his hand in marriage. 'Tonight...,' he thought, 'tonight, I'm gonna ask him.' The box then snapped closed as footsteps started downstairs and it was shoved back into his pocket. Jake looked up at him from brushing lint off his chest when he reached the main floor of their home. The burly tom gave a smile as he got up from the sofa. A soft kiss was pressed to his muzzle as the lean tom was led outside to their truck.

"You look wonderful, Jake. Jus' wonderful..."

---------------

What hurts the most was being so close.
And having so much to say.
And watching you walk away.
And never knowing what could have been.
And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do.

------------------

After a movie, Chance took his smaller companion to a fine diner.. or as fine as they could afford. As low priced as the food itself was, the place had the perfect romantic air to it. Dinner came and went as the two enjoyed one another's company, Chance mentally discussing with himself when the right time was. The waitress came and carried their plates away then returned with a cup of ice cream for each of them as well as a small cake with a candle on it for Jake. Amber eyes stared down at the sweet in astonishment before looking up to his mate.

Chance chuckled softly at watching the other's mouth move up and down like a gasping fish and reached across the table to grasp his paw, "Happy Birthday, Jake-love."

NOW! his mind screamed at him. Ask him now!

His mouth opened and... the soft beeping of their emergency pagers went off. Chance then sighed in disappointment as he released Jake's hand and dug for his wallet to toss a couple twenties on the table. Jake gave the tabby a slight smile, seeming to realize that Chance had wanted to say something important, then rose from the table to leave and answer the call.

"Perfect timing Callie..." Chance couldn't help but grumble under his breath as he followed his mate.

Jake was already buckled up in the truck when Chance caught up to him, the vehicle running. The blonde tom climbed in, strapped on his seat belt and fired up the turbo engines on the run down looking truck. In an instant, they were on the road and speeding towards home to answer the call.

"Callie said that creeplings are setting fire to several large buildings near city hall. Enforcers are on it already, but she said she'd feel better if the Swat Kats were there to help," the leaner tom informed, then looked up to his silent partner, "Did you want to tell me something earlier?"

The broad kat saddened for a second then shook his head, "It can wait, Jake... Don't worry 'bout it."

The other couldn't help but study him intently. Finally he nodded, "Ok.. And Chance..?"

"Yeah, bud?"

"Thanks."

A bright smile crossed the tabby's face then as he glanced to his partner, "You're welcome, love. Anytime.."

------------------

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go,
but I'm doing it.
It's hard to see our old friends and I'm alone,
still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret,
but I know if I could do it over, I would trade, give away,
all the words that I saved in my heart, that I left unspoken.

------------------

"What's the status, Razor?"

"That's five warehouses, one nuclear plant, two apartment buildings, and two major company buildings..."

Heavy smoke could be seen up ahead of the sleek jet, which T-Bone veered towards the right to draw closer to, "Well, you better add one more to that list. I see another fire ahead."

"Affirmative," Razor's fingers ran across the control panel as he ran scans on the blazing building. "Another apartment building, T-Bone. It's still got occupants in it. Looks like we're gonna have to go in by foot for this one."

"Roger that, little buddy," the pilot replied as he switched to hover mode and eased the jet to the ground, about a block from the building.

"There's still people on the second and third floors," a firekat informed them once they entered the scene.

Oxygen masks on, they went in. Razor, being the quickest, went to the third floor while T-Bone searched the second. An elderly couple and a mother and child were found and rescued from the building. Once back outside in the night air, the two partner's grinned at each other for their successful rescue. The enforcers arrived moments later while the Swat team helped tend to a couple of the injured.

"My baby!" the voice of the mother kat caught both kat's attention, "My baby's still in there!"

'It's too late...' T-Bone thought after looking towards the building. No one would be able to get in there and find the kit then be out in time..

"What floor, ma'am?"

"Razor, are you crazy!"

Amber eyes stared into startled blue ones before the gunner turned back to the woman.

"What floor?"

"Third..."

Like a dart, Razor sprinted back to the blazing inferno, paying no heed to his yelling partner. Unhesitant, he burst through the flames at the door and continued inside.

"Razor! You can't make it, buddy! That building's ready to collapse!" the voice of his partner crackled through the communicator.

"I have to try.." he swerved to avoid a falling beam then raced up the stairwell. "I have to. There still might be a chance!"

A pause seemed to echo in his ears as T-Bone didn't answer right away. "... Radio contact at all times... You better come outta this alive, bud."

"I'll be alright," Razor couldn't help but smile slightly. Then he paused at the third floor, his ears listening intently for any noise from the living. A child's cry then reached him, and he hurried down the hallway.

A young girl was curled up in a corner of one room, her face tear-streaked as she cried into her arms. The tom knelt in front of her and reached out to lift her in his arms. Realizing that help had come for her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gripped his flight suit tightly.

"T-Bone, I've got her. I'm coming out."

He could hear his partner tell the mother, followed by the voices of the crowd outside. He was happy he'd found the child. Only.. he wasn't so sure they'd make it out in time. The floor felt like it was about it fall in, causing him to hurry out of the hall and back down the stairs. The floor creaked, and partly fell away as he stepped, making him up his pace all the more. Second floor.. first floor... Almost there, he thought...

A groan and creak above him brought him to a halt. He clutched the child tight to him as he debated what to do. It sounded as if the whole ten stories above him was about to cave right then and there. Cracking and splintering came from behind him, making him turn at the sound. His eyes widened and realized it was to late to move, he turned his back to the heavy ceiling beam that was falling and blocked the girl with his body. Pain shot through his back and chest as the beam slammed into his back and threw him forward. He heard the beam hit the floor with a thudding crash just as he fell forward, releasing the girl. Her tear streaked face was the last thing he saw before blacking out from the pain...

------------------

What hurts the most is being so close.
And having so much to say.
And watching you walk away.
And never knowing what could have been.
And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do.

------------------

T-Bone fidgeted impatiently outside the building. He was getting worried. Razor hadn't spoken to him since he informed that he'd gotten the child. That was two minutes ago. He wasn't completely sure, but he could've sworn that he'd heard a crash in the background of the communicator. Impatience and worry finally got the best of him.

"Razor? Razor, come in, buddy. ...Razor, are you there?"

Then he heard what shattered his heart.. "Mister...? Mister, wake up... Please, mister... Mister Swat Kat, please wake up..."

He clenched his teeth at hearing the tear-filled voice of the young kit. At this point, he wasn't thinking straight. He went in, ignoring the protests of both Callie and Felina as well as the Commander. He knew that building would fall any second, but he be damned if he was going to leave the kit and his partner in there.

He found them just outside the stair well. Seeing the fallen beam on the floor and his unmoving partner told him all he needed to know as he carefully placed Razor over his shoulder and scooped the kit into his arms. Above him, the building creaked dangerously. He ran. The building was going. Now. He had to get them out of here NOW.

He didn't watch the building collapse as he gave the mother her child then laid Razor on the ground. He practically ripped open the flight suit, yanking off his helmet. T-Bone laid an ear on his mate's chest. His stomach clenched. No heart beat.. no breathing.. NO, damnit!

The learned Enforcer medical skills came into play as he frantically began to perform CPR on the fallen tomkat. The crowd watched in stunned silence. This couldn't be their heroes.. Not like this.. not defeated by a fire.. The silence echoed in the air for several moments.

"Please.. Razor.. C'mon Razor.. one... two.. three.. one.. two.. damnit, Jake! Don't do this! Don't you dare do this! ...Please.. Jake... one.. two..." T-Bone hadn't realized he had been using Razor's real name in his pleas. A weak cough came from his partner, making him cease to cradle Razor's head between his paws.. "Oh.. thank God! Jake.."

"T-Bone..." Razor's voice rasped heavily as he stared up to his partner with pain-filled eyes. One paw slowly peeled off his mask, and T-Bone knew.. His partner wasn't going to make it. Not this time.. He raised one paw and pulled both his helmet and mask off at once. Tears began to well up. The shock of the masses around at finding out who these SWAT Kats really were was washed away at the emotion of what was happening before them to their two heroes.

"Jake... I love you Jake..." he whispered softly. "I was going to tell you something earlier.."

Amber eyes stared back questionably and Jake nodded for his mate to go on.

"I wanted to ask... if you would marry me.."

Tears welled up in Jake's eyes as well and he nodded, "Yes.. Of course, Chance... I love you..." He paused with a wince, "...One last thing..?"

"Anything, Jake-love..."

"Kiss me..."

A soft smile crossed the tear streaked face of the burly tom and he leaned down. Their mouths met, Jake struggling to hold on and make their last kiss last. Then, it stopped. Chance felt the life leave his mate as the kiss ended. He clutched the body to him, tears flowing freely. Thunder began to rumble, and, all at once, rain poured down. The tabbykat held the limp figure in his arms as he threw his head back and roared his anguish into the skies above. And, not one camera flashed, not one video recorder taped, and not one single kat moved.

------------------

What hurts the most is being so close.
And having so much to say.
And watching you walk away.
And never knowing what could have been.
And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do.

------------------

Rain continued to pour inside the bed room. The sleeping tabby was still fitfully curled up on the bed. But, by the bedside, a figure slowly faded into existence. The transparent figure gained a solid form then slowly crawled into bed beside the tom. He embraced the kat from where he lay, a soft smile coming across his face as the larger being slowly relaxed under his presence and touch. A purr began to escape each of the kats as the figure curled into the blonde tabby, at which he curled an arm around the body.

"..Jake.." he whispered as he slept. And the kat in question smiled and brushed the other's cheek lovingly.

"Yes, Chance... I'll always be here for you..."

The hours passed until dawn came. The rain clouds faded. And as they did, so did the lean tomkat from the arms of his mate.

------------------

Not seeing that loving you.
That's what I was trying to do.


FIN:sqeaks: AHH! DON'T KILL MEE:runs away: