(AN: Congratulations to mammal-mage for being the one who correctly guessed the villain's identity with just one try).
-The British are coming!
"Heeelllooo, duckies!" Mad Mod, wearing his usual formal Beatles-like outfit (cane included), hovered over the crowd, thanks to a special platform he was standing on. Walking behind and under him, a group of huge British soldiers-shaped robots (each one about 3 feet taller than Cyborg), carrying large guns, followed the British villain, pointing the weapons against the people at the line and the cops.
"Okay, nobody move, and maybe I'll let you guys leave unharmed once I'm done. Maybe." Mad Mod said in an arrogant tone while pressing some buttons on his cane. The robots formed a line in front of the people, and motioned them to kneel, including the cops. Gar and Jen gritted their teeth, but decided to wait for the right chance.
"What do you want? This place isn't a bank, or a jewelry store, or whatever a super villain might like to rob." One of the cops snapped at Mod. The villain smirked at him, and, by pressing another button, made the platform to hover closer to the ground.
"You, ignorant American! I'm not motivated by such petty things like money or jewels. I'm defending the honor of the great British Empire, the one your ancestors dared to challenge! And a group of silly Yankees like you isn't worthy of having these fine merchandise, product of England's education and cleverness." Mad Mod said in a proud tone. "And this time, I'm going to strike and leave so fast, the Titans will not even know I'm here until I'm escaping."
"This guy really gets on my nerves." Jen whispered to Gar.
"At least this time he isn't using mind control's devices. I'm pretty vulnerable to those tricks." Gar replied without losing sight of the villain. "I guess my surprise is over; I'll call my pals so we can handle this fool." Gar attempted to take out his communicator, but Jinx stopped him.
"Hey, wait! You are on a winning spree today, remember? I'm sure this guy can't be as hard to defeat as Red X or those two fools." Jinx told him.
"Jen, this time is different. When I got X, he was alone and there were no civilians around; with Gizmo and Mammoth, there was just one person to protect; but this time, we have a lot of enemies and a whole crew to worry about." Gar informed her.
"And this time you aren't alone. And I can get some extra help in a few seconds." Jen said while taking out her own communicator. Gar gave her a puzzled look, and grinned widely after a moment.
On the meantime, Mad Mod had ordered the people to look at the ground while the robots watched them. Still on his platform, the villain hovered towards the door, planning to get inside and force out the people who were already there. The moment he was about to enter, a known voice called his attention.
"Hey, Austin Powers-wannabe!" Mod and about everyone else turned to see Beast Boy on his regular jumpsuit and standing behind the robots' line, folding his arms. He had changed into a fly to pass the mechanical guards, ready tousethe plan heand Jinx had improvised in a few seconds.
"Oh, is the little green ducky!" Mod said while making his platform to move higher and over the robots. "Where are your friends? If they sent you alone to try stopping me, then they're dumber than I thought."
"Well, talking about fools, I think you're forgetting something about our last encounter." BB said in a smooth tone.
"Really? And what would it be?" Mod said while making his robots to point their guns in Beast Boy's direction.
"That this is a distraction maneuver!" BB replied with a grin. Before the villain could react, a red and yellow blur appeared out from nowhere, and grabbed all the robots' guns.
"What, in the name of the Queen...?" Mod said in surprise. Gar pointed to his right, where a guy on a red and yellow spandex suit, with a mask that allowed his red hair to be seen, was standing, next to a bunch of disabled guns.
"I don't like the Queen. I sleep better on the King." Kid Flash said jokingly, showing a grin that rivaled Gar's.
"You, stupid Americans! Now they will pay for your insolence!" Mad Mod yelled in rage while commanding two of his robots to attack the crew. At that moment, Jinx made a high jump, throwing away her jacket, shades, and hat (her hair no longer had the devil horns' look, so it fitted well inside the hat), and landing right in front of the robots, on her regular gothic-like outfit.
"Sorry guys, but I'm deporting you." Jinx said while her eyes and hands glowed with pink energy. The sorceress then shot two large hex waves, hitting the robots and making them to fall in pieces.
"You and Jinx protect the people. I'll handle Mister Bean's ugly cousin." Gar said to Kid Flash before turning into a cheetah and charging against Mod and his robots.
"I'm on it." Kid Flash said a split second before zooming behind the robots and carrying Jinx bridal-style.
"The Hex Wall?" Kid Flash asked his girlfriend.
"Sure. Why not?" Jinx replied with a playful smirk; KF grinned widely, and then started running around BB, Mad Mod, and the robots. Jinx activated her power, and a split second later, the combination of her energy and Kid Flash's speed created a pink barrier around the fighters.
"What are those hooligans doing?" Mad Mod asked to himself while Beast Boy used his feline speed to avoid the robots' punches and kicks. Once he noticed the wall surrounding him and the villain, Gar morphed into a T-Rex, hitting several robots with his tail.
Mad Mod had to move his platform really quickly to avoid being hit by the flying broken pieces. The robots' rests collided against Jinx's pink energy, turning into even smaller pieces and remaining inside the barrier, so no civilian was hurt by them.
In a matter of seconds, Gar destroyed the rest of the robots, either by stomping, chewing, or hitting them with his tail. Mad Mod gasped in fear; his platform and cane had no offensive mechanisms, and, without the robots, he was helpless against the heroes. He looked for a possible escape way, and smiled widely when noticing the barrier wasn't covering the aerial route.
"Guess I should go now. I'm not forgetting this, duckies!" Mod said while making his platform to fly outside the barrier. Beast Boy noticed this, and morphed into an eagle to chase him. Once he was out of the barrier as well, Kid Flash stopped running, making it to disappear.
Beast Boy flied in circles around Mad Mod, who was trying to keep him away by swinging his cane, which prevented the green teen to get any closer. BB changed into a hornet, and, being harder to hit, could pass the villain's defense, and land on his nose.
"You aren't going to sting me, right? Please, I'm allergic to bees' poison!" Mad Mod paled, and almost begged to the insect. Then, in a swift movement, the villain caught the bug with his right hand; luckily for him, he was wearing gloves, so the hornet wouldn't be able to hurt him.
"Ha! Got you! What will you do now, ducky?" Mad Mod said in a mocking way, right before a little green duck bite his nose. The villain yelled in pain, and lost control of the platform, but didn't collide with anything, since he was on a zone with low buildings.
"That's it! I'm going to roast you, you little..." Mad Mod glared at the duck sitting on his platform, that suddenly changed into a snake-like form, "... eel?"
An electric eel, actually.
The electricity, besides knocking Mad Mod out, made a short job on his flying platform, making it to fall to the ground. Gar morphed into a pterodactyl, and grabbed the unconscious criminal to avoid him falling as well, and flew with him back to the store.
"Hey, it's the catch of the day?" Kid Flash said to Gar when he landed and dropped the villain as gently as possible.
"Nah. Just a rejected villain from a James Bond's film." Gar replied when changing back to human.
"Hey, I like those movies! Wanna see one with Sean Connery tonight, Jinx?" KF asked his girl, who was next to him rubbing her chin.
"I like Roger Moore better, thanks." Jinx shrugged.
At that moment, the cops who were at the place moved next to Mad Mod to get him, and called at the station, while the rest of the people cheered wildly at the teen heroes. The trio grinned widely, and then started shaking hands and giving high-fives to the crowd.
"Good thing this ended well. But next time I want to surprise my friends, I'm buying them chocolates instead." Gar thought.
An hour later, at the Titans' tower main room, Raven was, as usual, levitating while reading one book, while Cyborg was at the kitchen preparing breakfast. Robin and Starfire (she carrying Silkie, her pet mutant larvae) entered the room, still a little tired because of their night work; they usually were among the first ones to wake up, but, shortly after Gar left the tower, they decided to sleep a few hours before breakfast (each one on his/her respective room, of course).
"You guys should take the day off. I no longer know if that thing on your eyes is the mask, or bags." Cyborg told Robin, half-joking, while preparing some waffles.
"Maybe you're right, Cyborg. I'll go back to my room after eating, but I think we should still have a training session today." Robin stated, right before yawning. "Make it an afternoon training session."
"I agree with the idea, Friend Robin." Starfire said while preparing Silkie's breakfast. "I'm as sleepy as a B'rozzo after doing his Prau-Prau ritual."
"Beast Boy hadn't wakened up yet?" Cyborg asked to no one in particular. Raven stopped reading and looked at him.
"I hadn't seen him today. Yesterday he claimed to be a little tired, so I guess he'll wake up late. Besides, he knows you're cooking, so surely isn't in a hurry to have breakfast." Raven stated before returning to her reading.
"His lost. I still can't understand why he prefers to eat that tofu's junk instead of one of my delicious ham, sausage, bacon, and steak omelet's." Cyborg said while finishing up with the waffles and starting cracking the ten eggs he usually needed for his special meal.
"To him, it would be like cannibalism." Raven replied while reading. "And, for the rest of us, an indigestion and a heart attack."
"Hahaha! Good one, Raven! And you said you don't do comedy."
The Titans looked at the door, where BB was popping his head inside the room.
"Good morning, Friend Beast Boy. We didn't expect you to have breakfast with us since Cyborg is cooking mainly with animal-related ingredients." Starfire greeted him.
"Yes, I don't eat that, but I found two friends in town, and invited them to have breakfast with us." Gar said while entering the room, carrying his backpack, with Jinx (carrying a little package) and Kid Flash right behind him.
"Hey, Jinx, KF, what a surprise!" Cyborg exclaimed right before Kid Flash dashed next to him for a high-five.
"Hi, Former-Adversary-Now-Friend Jinx and Friend Kid Flash!" Starfire greeted them in her usual cheerful way, while Robin just nodded and smiled slightly.
"Great." Raven said, lifting slightly her head, in her regular monotone.
"Oh, please, Raven, I know you hardly can contain your excitement because of my visit,butdon't stand up." Jinx replied with her own sarcasm. Raven looked at her with an annoyed expression, but softened in a moment, returning to her usual emotionless look.
"Beast Boy, you said you found them? What were you doing out of the tower so early?" Robin directed to his green friend. Gar smiled widely, and opened his backpack.
"Yeah, well, you see, we had been so busy lately you guys forgot about today's event. Luckily, I remembered it, and decided to surprise all of you by buying them myself." BB replied while moving his hand inside the backpack.
Robin, Star, Cyborg, and even Raven wide opened their eyes, guessing what he was talking about. Star became even more excited, and moved in front of Beast Boy with a joyful expression, similar to the ones kids have on Christmas morning.
"You mean, you have them?" Star said, her eyes Anime-style wide opened.
"That's right... THE NEW HARRY POTTER'S BOOK!" Beast Boy said while taking out one book from the backpack and handling it to Star. The alien princess took it, excited, and gave BB one of her trademark super hugs, making Jinx and KF to laugh at the scene.
"Oh, what a wonderful surprise, Friend Beast Boy! I had been expecting for the newest book of the kid from the Hogs that are Warts!" Star said while hugging BB, who changed his usual green tone for a blue one.
"Star... need air..." Gar managed to say, making an embarrassed alien to release him.
"Sorry, Friend Beast Boy." Star apologized, and then looked at Robin, who was next to her. "Do you want to read the book with me tonight after the training session, Friend Robin?"
Cyborg and Kid Flash chuckled for a moment, until Raven and Jinx silenced them with their glares. Robin smiled slightly, and rubbed the back of his head.
"Uh... sure, Star. You know I like those books as well." Robin replied, making Star's expression to bright even more.
Truth be said, all the Titans liked the books (even if Starfire was the main fan). Beast Boy wasn't know for being an avid reader (thanks to his phobia to public libraries), but he liked the movies a lot, and, after watching the first film, Raven suggested him to read the books as well. Everyone got surprised when the green changeling actually read the first book entirely, and was the first one to suggest buying the whole series.
Beast Boy handled Cyborg his book, who thanked him and then placed it on a shelf to avoid damaging it while cooking breakfast. Raven put down the book she had been reading, and walked next to Gar, who handled the last book to her.
"Hope you like it, Raven." BB said with a wide grin.
"Thanks. It was a nice detail from you to wake up early to buy them. I'm taking good care of mine." Raven replied, giving him a Mona Lisa-like smile. Raven rarely laughed or smiled, at least, in front of her friends, and knowing she was doing it because of him made Gar really happy.
"Let me guess. Your favorite character is Hermione, and Gar's is Ron." Jinx said to Raven in a joking way. Raven and Beast Boy looked at her with a surprised expression.
"Don't tell me you read minds too!" BB said, amazed.
"Surely not, or she would be terrified at what I'm thinking about her right now." Raven replied with a smirk. Jinx stuck her tongue at Raven in a playful way, and then, after she left her package (which, of course, contained her book) on the shelf by the moment, she and Kid Flash went to the table. He offered Jinx a seat, in a perfect gentleman way, making her to smile widely; when Starfire asked why he was doing it, Robin explained her it was a common chivalry's gesture, and mimicked Kid Flash, offering a chair to Star.
"Maybe Star would like to have those two around here more frequently." Gar whispered to Raven.
"Please, don't suggest it. You are the only annoying person I can usually stand." Raven said.
"Wow! I'm taking that as a compliment." Gar grinned, making Raven to roll her eyes. The sorceress placed her new book on the shelf, and directed to the table as well, stopping at mid-way.
"You're not eating?" Raven asked Gar when noticing he wasn't approaching the table.
"I can prepare you some of your tofu eggs if you want. This time you really deserve them." Cyborg said to BB while taking a jar of juice out from the fridge.
"Thanks, but I already ate something, and right now I'm a little tired. I just want to go to my room and take a nap." Beast Boy replied, and then covered his mouth because of a yawn.
"Hey, don't stop because of us. Go ahead." Kid Flash said to him while Jinx and the rest of the Titans nodded. Gar thanked them, and then directed to the door.
"Uh... Gar." Raven called him in a low voice, making him to stop right before leaving. The other Titans didn't notice them because they were already eating, except Jinx, who gave them a discrete look.
"If you want, when you wake up, we can read the first chapter together." Raven told him, trying to hide a slight blush on her cheeks. They didn't have many things in common, and she actually liked the idea of doing something both of them enjoyed.
"Sure. We can read it on the rooftop; I'll even bring your tea." Gar replied with a wide smile, and blushing a little as well, while making a mental note about asking her for a date after reading. Raven nodded, and then directed to the table again. Jinx stopped watching them, and couldn't help but smile a little.
Gar exited the room, but returned a few seconds later, remembering something.
"Oh, I almost forgot! Robin, the Special Crimes Unit asked me to tell you to pick up the equipment of a villain they got this morning, and I told them you would be there before noon." Gar told his leader.
"What villain?" Robin asked, with a puzzled expression.
"Red X. Check the News to get the details. I'm going to sleep; I'll have the rest of the week to show-off." Gar replied, and then exited the room again.
Everyone but Jinx and KF was speechless. Robin reacted after a few seconds, and ran to the couch to grab the remote and turn on the TV, right at the moment the News were talking about that morning's meta-human activities.
"You don't know anything about this, right?" Raven asked Jinx while the pink-haired girl grabbed the maple syrup for her waffles.
"Just that you guys should give Gar a little more credit." Jinx shrugged. Raven got silent, and after taking a sip of tea, smiled slightly at her former foe.
"Trust me. I'll do it."
And that's the ending! (Oh, yeah! Who is the mean, green, fighting machine, uh? Go Beast Boy! Go Beast Boy! It's your birthday!) Gar... (Yes, you're right. My birthday is on three months. Hey, what are you buying me?) It's a surprise. (Please, tell me!) Okay, I'm giving you... NOTHING! (What?) It's a joke. Surprise! (And you say my jokes are lame?)
Thanks to everyone who reviewed this fic. Glad you guys liked this story. (And, as we promised, we have a second disclaimer. Ramiro doesn't own James Bond, Austin Powers, Robocop, Mister Bean, or Harry Potter and all the related characters). Thanks a lot, Gar.
(And now, before we go, I have another joke!) Gar, please. (This is a very good one!) If you really have to... (Okay... how do you get an elephant out from a swimming pool?) No idea. (Soaked!)
One more joke like that one, and I'm taking you to the vet to get neutered. (You wouldn't do that.) Give me a good reason. (Raven might get angry.) Excellent reason.
It's time to say good-bye, Gar. (Good-bye, Gar!) –sigh- So long, everyone, and keep the good writing.