My Hearts Desire

By Seth (aka HelloxMoto)

You know those days when you wake up and just know something's going to happen? I had been celebrating my eighteenth birthday the night before and had somehow stumbled back to my room on the fourth floor of Malfoy Manor. My mouth still tasted of wine and cigarettes, but that was the least of my worries. I had hoped that getting deliriously drunk would somehow stop today from coming. Needless to say, it didn't work.

I am now a legal adult. I am now a fully fledged Veela. And I can already feel my chest tightening. I don't really understand how it all works. How was I supposed to find my mate before I changed? But now that I have changed, I am already in pain! It seems like there'd be a certain set way this all worked. Apparently not.

God, I look like shit. I need a shower. Pronto. My hands are shaking. I can barely turn the knobs to get the water running. Shit. The waters cold, but it feels good. Pulls some of my awareness away from the thumping in my chest. The place you're supposed to be.

I need to stop thinking about you. Hell, I don't even know who you are! I'm going nuts. That's the only answer. No. No, I refuse to go bonkers! I'm simply going to have to find you as soon as possible and get us bonded. Of course the whole thought of me loving you unconditionally and eternally is rather daunting. I've always loved myself most. Of course I love my mother, but I learned a long time ago to take care of myself first. And in a way, I am taking care of myself. True, you'll be around for me to spoil, but more importantly, I won't be in pain with you in my arms reach.

I truly hope you're not hideous. I don't know what I'll do with myself if you are. Though, according to the Veelan elders, I'll love you anyways. I tend to doubt that. Veela love beautiful things by nature. It's in our blood. Besides, I don't see myself with some ugly freak. Definitely not in public.

Of course my dominate Veela blood will make me rather possessive. Why would I want to protect a fugly mate, though? What would that achieve? I would look stupid and you'd look….well…..ugly.

I'm getting all pruny and wrinkly. Time to get out of the shower. And as I walk through the halls of my proud and mighty manor, I can't help but wonder if you'll appreciate the beauty and awe that will surround you. This is not only my estate, my manor. But my home. I was raised here, as was my father and his father before him. Our children will be raised here. Run along these halls, and fall on these carpets, and break these priceless vases. I'll never admit it, not even to myself. But I'm….rather excited about children. I've always wanted children. The sound of little feet pattering around and their laughter bouncing off of these cold walls. They'll bring life back to Malfoy Manor.

But, that's not the dilemma of the moment, is it? No, of course it isn't. The dilemma is the pounding in my chest and how I'm going to go about finding you. Where to begin? I honestly have no clue. The major wizard settlements, like Hogs Meade and Diagon Alley, and maybe Hogwarts….Oh god. What if I'm a cradle robber? What if you're still just a kid! Oh Jesus!

No! No, you're not a child. I refuse to even think that. Nope. You're an adult. Not a too old adult, of course. I don't want to bugger a mummy, either. The only thing I know for sure is that you're a man. Of the male persuasion. A human with a penis. I know that. How could my mate be a woman, when I'm gay?

Fuck, I'm a mess and I've got an interview with Dumbledork in less than an hour! An while I'm at Hogwarts, I might as well as get it over with. I'm sure your not there though. I mean, why would my mate be at Hogwarts?

A/N- So, tell me what you think. Leave a review. What could it hurt?