Summary: In which Kyo and Haru get freaky, and I leave it all to your imaginations. "Yuki doesn't pleasure me, Kyo," I smirk at him, "and I need a release."

A/N: Just some random crap that I made up, it's just plain old dirty humor. It's not meant to really do anything but make you laugh. Please review my first Fruits Basket fic.

Revised on 1-28-2007: I changed the porn scene and the name of the porn-tape (since Haru IS gay and all) and I changed the way I spelled 'Kyo'. That's about it.

Chapter 1: CENSORED! Porn

Black Haru's P.O.V.

Oh-noes, that happy-ass chick with the hots for my Yuki, called us all down to the park. What does she want now? And just when I was about to finish watching my brand new Nekomimi Shonen Hentai 3 (1)!

Kyo's in his room now.

Which is this room.

He looks pretty red too...

"…is that porn?" Kyo's looking at me funny. I stop what I'm doing, and watch as his breathing gets really heavy. He looks at me with an odd look on his face as I sigh,

"Yuki doesn't pleasure me, Kyo," I smirk at him, "and I need a release."


Poor him.

He's scarred for life.

"Why do they have cat ears? And is that boy…holy flip!"

I don't think Kyo's ever seen porn before. Time to teach him the true birds and the trees or whatever the hell it is.

"Yes, Kyo, he put his—"


"—into his—"

"Oh my god!"

"—and then—"

"Stop that!"

"—came out of his—"


He storm off, red in the face, and I chuckle evilly. It's fun fucking with Kyo.

In both meanings of the word.

A/N: That's it for now, maybe I'll post up chapter two in a week or something. Please review!