A bit of fluff, humor and pointlessness on James and Lily in their 7th year. Written on spur of the moment by the whim of an anti-study student (A/N: That's me!)
Inspired By English Class... in the worst way! I was sitting in my English Class this morning, and out of nowhere, it suddenly occurred to my why teachers should never try to relate to the social life of their students. That thought would occur to you, too, if your teacher compared her boyfriend to yours!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
"How do you save your enemy from drowning? Easy! Take your foot off his/her head!"
CHAPTER 1: THE CONSPIRACY BEGINS
Albus Dumbledore was annoyed.
It was a rare occurrence; Albus being peeved like so, but an occurrence all the same.
The source of his annoyance could only be triggered by one thing.
Actually, two things.
Really it was 3 things, but only two irked him at the present time.
And he wasn't the only sufferer of this plague of bothersome annoyance either...
"Bloody Hell! Why don't those two just get together all ready!"
...he was just a little better about not showing it was all.
"Why don't they just admit that they are completely nuts for each other, and let the rest of us have some peace already?" Minerva McGonagall roared in the staff lounge. This exclamation was met by cheers of approval and agreement by the rest of the faculty.
"Now, now Minerva," Dumbledore reprimanded gently. "We must not meddle in our student's affairs." As he said this, however, his insides were screaming 'YESSSSSSSSS! Yesssssss- musssssssst- meddel- musssssst interfere- my preeeeeeciousssssss...' opps! Wrong story! Moving on.
"But Albus! It is our duty as teachers to teach! And if anyone needs to be taught, it's those two! They are the only ones in the whole blasted school that can't put two and two together and get four!" the Muggle Studies Professor, Orlanda Hyphianne, exclaimed. This was followed by a few blank looks. She rolled her eyes, exasperatedly at her colleges. "Muggle phrase," she explained. "It means, they are the only people in Hogwarts that cannot get it threw their thick skulls that they are hopelessly in love with each other!"
Another round of cheers greeted this statement.
"And now the question that we are all thinking," mused the Defense Professor, Ashleigh Silvers, as she leaned back on her chair's two rear legs. "What are we going to do about it?"
The group all fell into a collective silence, thinking it over in their heads.
Tired of playing the mature adult of the group, but still sensing that he was going to regret it, Albus spoke up. "We shall do what all great wizards do when faced with a difficult decision." Seeing he had their attention, Albus continued in that slow, thoughtful and serious way. "We shall... flip a coin, and bet on the results!"
The Hogwarts professors let out a triumphant cackle in unison at this plan.
Reaching into his pocket, Albus brought out a bronze knut. "(Cackle cackle cackle) Okay! Heads, we will be ethically correct, and keep our noses out of our students' business, and let them work it out for themselves. Tails, we make every excuse in the book, and some to embarrassing to be written down, to get those two to spend as much time together as we can possibly manage inside our classes. Since I don't have a class, I will use the excuse as them being Head Boy and Girl to force them to spend extra time together. Everyone got it?" Albus looked around at the nodding teachers, and then back at the coin sitting in his hand.
He tossed it in the air, and watched its progress. Little did he know, there was a conspiracy afoot.
You see, morally correct did not bode well with the Professors of Hogwarts school when it came to these two particular students. Unbeknownst to him, the Defense Professor acted on their dislike of just watching idly, and subtly poked her wand out of her sleeve. She cast a Non-Verbal Cheating Spell as the coin sailed back towards Albus' waiting hand.
Professor Silvers smiled innocently as he glanced over at her. Albus saw her cast the spell, but pretended not to, because secretly, he really did want to give the two students a gentle push in the right direction.
"Tails it is!" Albus said cheerfully, after glancing at his hand, to keep up appearances. Besides, at least now he could say he had tried to be fair.
"Imagine that!" exclaimed Ashleigh dramatically as her colleges giggled.
"And now to act upon our second proposal! We must bet!" Yet another cheer was let out from the group. "The Arithmancy Professor must hold the Betting Pool, of course!"
Aaron Heldings, the Arithmancy Professor in question, immediately jumped in to establish the Pool. "Lets start with some ground rules:
1.) No betting over 50 Galleons, for counting sake.
2.) No one outside us Professors are allowed to place bets! The students can get their own Betting Pool.
3.) Under NO circumstances may anyone tell them about this! If someone tells, so help me, I will come after that person with all the vengeance of 20 rampaging rhinos! "-Here there was an outburst of agreement and similar death threats-"
4.) No one can outright shove them into a broom cupboard, or anything as unsubtle as that.
"Everyone got it?" There was a murmur of assent threw the crowd. Professor Heldings beamed, and continued. "Good! Now: let Operation: Get-Lily-Evens-and-James-Potter-together-before-we-all-loose-our-sanity-or-what-is-left-of-it, commence!"
The teachers all cackled, and swarmed around the Arithmancy Professor to make their bets.
Tada! What do you think? Love it? Hate it? Should I continue? Read and Review!
Master of random disaster