Admitting Defeat

He couldn't believe he had let her go. Just like that, without a fight. What he really wanted to do was scream at her, make her feel as bad as he did. But he couldn't. It wasn't her fault, she couldn't help that she loved someone else. Even if that person was his best friend. He would eventually get over losing her.

"Dawson?"

He turned over in bed looking at Jen. He didn't want anyone feeling sorry for him. Especially her. She knew all of his secrets. He had told her more than he had ever told Joey. Which was why Joey had ran into Pacey's arms in the first place. He couldn't blame her, he had been messing with her head for months. He was amazed she had held out as long as she had.

XXX

He stood on her front porch waiting for her to answer the door. She cracked the door smiling at him when she saw him. He pushed the door open wanting to be close to her. His arms were wrapped around her before she could shut the door.

"Did you tell him?"

"I told him."

"And?"

"I don't know. He closed himself off from me again."

"Why didn't you let me come with you?"

"And risk seeing the two of you fight? I don't think so. It's better this way."

"Maybe you're right."

XXX

Jen sat on the edge of the bed watching her friend stare at the ceiling. She wished he would say something. Him being silent was making her worry even more. She could tell he was hurting, she would be too if she were in his place. But she should have warned him. She had known what was going on for weeks and had kept it to herself.

Dawson sat up and buried his face in Jen's neck. She rubbed his back as sobs racked through him. Damn Pacey and Joey for not telling him sooner. She hoped they would be happy. She knew they would be good for each other. Once Dawson realized that they should be together everything would be fine. And Jen could make her move.

"It's gonna be okay."

"I blame myself. I never should have pushed her away."

"You were going through a lot. You can't help that."

"I should have seen this coming."

"I think you're the only person that didn't." Jen said as he finally calmed down.

XXX

Pacey sat on the floor in front of the couch later that night watching Joey sleep. They had been watching a movie and she had fallen asleep half way through. Things were going to be okay, once the dust settled and Dawson got over himself. He had always tried to control her. Pacey had made her see that she was special, and beautiful. He had found love in the last place he would have thought to look. And he wasn't going to let her go anytime soon.