A/N Yes, there NEEDS to be a musical version of the Titanic out there. There are a lot of good musicals AND operas about boats, like the HMS Pinafore for example. Well, enjoy yourself, and prepare for a tasty treat of the RMS Titanic: The Musical!

Intro

A long line of officers, the captain, and stewards line up in front of the RMS Titanic... which is a very large ship.

Chorus:

Here's the ship

That roams the ocean blue

And cannot stop its sailing

With wealthy snobs and its poor bums

Oh look the girls are wailing!

With a captain who is working here

And is taking his men home!"

Officer Murdoch comes skipping about in the air and does a somersault before singing gayly in a big vibratto.

Officer Murdoch:

I am the officer

Who kills himself

But that is much, much later

But listen up

I got something here

It's the DeWitt Bukaters!

Saxophones play as Rose and Ruth DeWitt Bukater enter the stage off the car. The saxophones fade, and they both get into a little dance number, with Caledon Hockley catching Rose and attempting to kiss her cheek. He leans in, but he gets a slap in the face by Rose, who walks away with her mother. Cal stands there looking confused, and then rushes on after them.

Chorus:

With the british tars

From Liverpool

We have no one to fool

For our stewards

And our sailors here

You have nothing to fear

Captain Smith spoken

This is surely an unsinkable ship!

Cal Hockley spoken

Not even God himself can sink this ship!

Chorus:

No not this boat

It will stay afloat

And it will part

At sea right now

America, the beautiful

Here we come!

So long, scum!

You'll see what the headlines will...

Becoooooome!

The stewards run off to the ship, and wave goodbye.

Back to America in Chains

Rose DeWitt Bukater exits her car, and begins to walk towards the ship.

Rose:

My name is Rose DeWitt Bukater

And I almost die much later

But for now I am a lass

Who has a Titanic pass

I just have lots of money

And for sure I do have a honey :Rose awkwardly puts her arm around Cal, who is by her side

But inside, not out, I am screaming

And I sure hope I am dreaming

Because my life is so boring

And my tears just can't stop pouring

My mother is a rat

Whose face is like a cat's

She is all about herself

And not meeeeee

I just cannot wait to be free

But I know that I'm to be

So empty inside

And to think I could ever

Have no pride

It hurts me so much

And I have had enough

So it's back to America in chains!

Wealthy Woman's Chorus:

Going back to America in cha-a-ains!

Rose: Yes, oh yes!

Wealthy Woman's Chorus:

Cha-a-ains!

Rose and Wealthy Woman's Chorus:

I'm/she's going back to America in chains

My Lucky Day!

Jack Dawson is playing poker with his buddies at the bar across from where the Titanic was about to disembark. He threw down his lucky hand, took the tickets, and then started singing.

Jack:

It's myyyyyy

Lucky day because I've won

The tickets of my dreams

It's my lucky day

And my eyes are 'bout to gleam

I cannot stop this anxiety

And in such piety

I cannot wait to go on the Titanic

Bar Chorus:

Yes he's going to the Titanic

And there's no need to panic!

With all his luck

He might find a girl

But hopefully she's pretty

Because an ugly one

Would make him hurl

And he's going to that ship

Fabrizio:

It's-a my LUCKY DAY

Because-a found

The ticket's-a Titanic

And my mother would be-a proud of me

And I don't-a need to panic

Fabrizio, Jack, and Bar Chorus:

It's his/our lucky daaaaaay!

Jack (while the Bar Chorus and Fabrizio hold the last notes):

Yes it's my lucky day

For sure I am lucky

Yes it's my lucky day

Yes it's my lucky DAAAAAY

The song ends with a big boom, and everyone leaves, with Jack and Fabrizio rushing outside to the ship, and getting on just in time.