This was a totally random idea i just had to write. Takes place while Naruto is away training with Ero-sennin.


She walked through the streets of Suna with a spring in her step, buoyed by the energy from the day's training when she heard footsteps approaching in the sand behind her.

"Temari-san?"

"Yes?"

Turning around, she saw a chuunin wearing formal robes standing behind her.

"Please come with me, Kazekage-sama wishes to speak with you."

"Alright, let's go!"

She hoped it was a mission, and something a little more exciting than last time.


Temari chuckled to herself as she walked through towards the Kazekage's office, her brother's office. He had only been elected a few months ago, and she was still expecting someone to jump out and yell 'surprise!' Knocking on the door, she walked in when called and stopped in surprise. It wasn't just her brother. It was a full council meeting.

"Gaara, what is it?"

The frowns and murmurs that followed addressing the Kazekage so informally brought a smile to her face. As much as some of the men gathered didn't like the idea of Gaara in charge, some habits died hard.

"This is a meeting concerning an incident on your recent mission to the earth country."

"Incident?"

Nothing had happened on that mission. She and a group of genin had escorted a few merchants north. They had a single encounter, common bandits. Other than that…

"A man you fought with."

"Oh! I remember now…some stuck-up stone nin pig made a pass at me when I was on my way back. He wasn't even worth the effort, so I let the genin with me practice on him. Heh, they smacked him around pretty good, as I recall. Broke a couple ribs at best, though. So what's the problem?"

"It is not a matter of broken ribs. It is a matter of injured pride."

Temari turned and stared at the man who spoke, a council member who probably hadn't thrown a kunai in twenty years.

"That was the point. He grabbed my ass, and that was before he even said 'hello.' What, he wants a written apology?"

"No. He wants your hand in marriage."

"HE WHAT?"

The assembled men leaned away as Temari slammed her hands on the desk, glaring down at the man who spoke. Temari's reputation for having a temper was second only to her brother.

"It's true."

Gaara was speaking now, perfectly calm, eyes level with hers.

"An informant in the earth country sent word that the 'pig' was a relative of the daimyo's family."

"I…see…"

"Not a direct family member, but he still has significant political influence. He gave an…alternate version of what happened, and has convinced his family that the idea of this marriage is for political reasons, and not for his own pride."

"Oh…well…you'll just have to tell him…that…"

"This may actually be a good political move, as relations with the Earth country-"

The council member who spoke broke off and froze at the sound of sand shifting behind him. The other men at the table froze as well, eyes snapping back to Gaara as he spoke.

"My sister is not for sale."

Temari's jaw dropped at his words. Gaara never talked like that. Ever since the chuunin exam and his battle with that loud, blond-haired leaf genin, he had…changed. Did he actually…care…about what happened to her? Just what had happened to him that day in Konoha?"

"Of-of-of course n-not, K-Kazekage-s-sama. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"It's-s-s that relations are strained with the Earth country right now. We cannot simply rebuff them outright, as it could cause serious problems for the hidden sand."

Gaara's eyes lost focus, and used to deciphering his normally expressionless face, Temari saw that he was deep in thought.

"What kind of…alternatives…are there?"

At that moment, when Gaara said 'alternatives' Temari was quite certain she was in the middle of a battle, and had been caught in one righteously screwed-up genjutsu.

"Kai! Umm…excuse me, just…checking."

"Well…"

"Kai!"

A lot more effort, though a little quieter this time, but she was still in her brother's office. Everyone turned to stare at her, while she did her best to look innocent.

"What is required for two people to be married?"

"Well, Kazekage-sama…err…a formal request would be sent to us first…"

"But they wouldn't do that in a political marriage…"

"No, it'll be just a formality, normally there'd be weeks of negotiation."

"Negotiations?"

The men began to babble, filling in their esteemed Kazekage on the intricacies of a diplomatic marriage, before Temari stuck two fingers in her mouth and blew as hard as she could.

"I believe…what G…the Kazekage means to ask is if there is something that would make me ineligible for marriage to that…man."

"Well…"

"Hmm…"

"Besides…"

"Besides? Besides what?"

"Well, I mean, besides the obvious."

"Which is?"

"Well, you obviously could not accept this man's request…if you were already married, which you are not. So that option is-"

"Alright! I'll get married then."

"To who?"

"Err…"

"And, I must point out, the marriage of the Kazekage's sister would certainly be a momentous occasion, and widely known, so unless you plan to marry someone within the day-"

"Today? What happens today?"

"The messenger carrying the request from the Earth country is expected tomorrow."

"Tomorrow! That's too soon! I can't find someone by then!"

"Besides, it is likely they will notice such a ploy and take even greater offense."

"Fine! I'll elope! In secret! My…my childhood crush! Someone! ANYONE!"

The council members dropped their heads, not out of concern for Temari, but for their own skins as anger began to seep onto Gaara's face. Temari didn't know this, but he wasn't angry at her, he was angry at his useless 'council,' at this mystery nin, at the whole wide world, and he was seriously considering strapping on his gourd, heading to the Earth country, and settling this matter in the usual fashion.


Dejected, Temari had slowly plodded to her room in the Kazekage's mansion, flopping facefirst onto the bed.

"Heh. This situation…it's so…troublesome."

Temari smiled at the memories the word evoked before she shot out of bed, hitting the wall and covering her face with her hands, which now wore an expression of absolute horror.

"No. No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"


He walked slowly through the streets of Konoha, enjoying the cool breeze and the feeling of not having anything to do anything when he felt a person approach from behind.

"Nara Shikamaru?"

"Yes?"

He turned to see an ANBU of all people standing behind him.

"The Hokage requests your presence."

"She does? Sure, I'll just be a-"

"Immediately."

"Huh? …Alright."

He turned and began to meander towards the Hokage's mansion. It had better not be anything too strenuous, as it would ruin a perfectly lazy day.